Wait, touch her at all, or sexually? You can’t hold hands, or anything?
Yes, I apologize for not being clear.
On a lighter note, my ex-jewish-boyfriends parents who hated me, were forever denied their favorite dish at the local chinese resteraunt when I asked what the sauce was and it was Oyster Sauce, they kept kosher, btw. It still brings me joy. but really only because his mothers first words to me were “You almost killed my husband.”
Kinda sad the OP hasn’t even had her first date yet and we have her married with kids already. 
Guinastasia:
Oh, you’re going to love this…not only are husband and wife not supposed to touch while wifey is in the “niddah” state, but they aren’t supposed to hand objects directly to one another, serve food to one another, eat one another’s leftovers…there’s an extensive list of no-nos. Take it from me, it’s a pain in the neck to live that way for twelve days of every month…sometimes you wait for mikvah night more for the convenience than for the sex!
The Rabbinical thinking behind this is that husband and wife, being so intimately in love with one another, need extra mental barriers to help keep them from sinning when sex is forbidden. These additional stringencies do not apply to a man and woman who are not married to one another (though the touching one does).
cmkeller, I have a lot of respect for you and your wife. Really, to do all of these things because they’re right, even when it’s difficult and inconvenient takes a lot of personal strength.
Hats off to you and your missus.
Another Israeli voting for, under these conditions, “anything goes but the very last bit.”
Like others have said – he’s asked a Shiksa out? He’s going to an (implcitly) non-kosher restaurant? He’s not going to let Jewish-religious issues get in the way.
Now what he’s like as a “person”, globally speaking? I guess you’ll find out shortly enough…
Good luck
most oyster sauce these days don’t contain oysters. read the label. i’m not sure but expect that makes the sauce no longer traf but probably couldn’t find kosher imitation chinese oyster sauce
I think I read somewhere this is to ensure they don’t touch a menstruating woman, i.e., they’d know if their wife was, but would avoid awkward situations such as the OP’s. Is that right???
cmk–While we’re on the subject, if you don’t mind–
I assume that you may touch your wife in a true emergency during those twelve days (like, she’s drowning, and you have to pull her out), but what about a medical non-emergency? Like if she has a splinter. Can you help her get it out?
Take off and nuke the site from orbit; it’s the only way to be sure.
Err… I mean… talk to him about it; unless he’s a strict adherent to some clearly-defined code of behaviour, his views on any given subject are less than predictable - ask him - it’s the only way to be sure
Kalhoun:
No, it’s a modesty practice - touching could lead to sexual arousal, which is to be avoided if the person in question is sexually forbidden.
Green Bean:
Well, you could touch her with a tweezers or a needle to get a splinter out. If you can avoid it, you should make every attempt to. Obviously, slips will happen, but these barriers are there more as a reminder than as a “law” that requires reward of obedience and punishment for defiance. As long as one is taking measures to try to adhere to these practices, they’re serving their purpose.
No offense, and I understand the rules, but it kinda sucks. Backrubs are good for cramps.
No argument there, Guin.
Could you give your cramping wife a backrub if you wore soft, mink gloves?
No, clothes make no difference for this rule.