Advice needed on contacting a former boss...

In My Humble Opinion
1

This is sort of a follow-up to this thread.

One of the people I’m trying to get a letter of recommendation from is my former boss, who I’ll call Bob. I wrote him the same day I started the above thread, asking him to send me several copies of the letter he’d previously written for me when I was applying to grad school. He asked me if I wanted any changes, I said no, and I haven’t heard from him since (about this matter; he’s been active on Facebook). So, technically, he didn’t agree to do it, but I took his question as confirmation that he would.

Well, a month has gone by, and I still haven’t received his letter. I’ve got everything else together for my application package; I’m just waiting on him, and the deadline is fast approaching. I wrote him a week and a half ago, and he never responded… so now I have to write him again.

A little background: I worked for Bob from 1992 to 2005. I ran one of his restaurants for the last seven years I worked there. He’s the owner of the company - well, it’s a corporation, so I guess his title would be “president” or “CEO”, but I’ve always thought of him as the owner. He’s one of the coolest people I’ve ever known, and I’m sure I’ll never have another boss anywhere near the same ballpark of coolness.

I think his company is up to 18 restaurants now. Besides running the company, he has four kids ages 5 to 12. On top of that, from what I’ve gathered from Facebook, he’s currently in the process of moving. In short, he’s about as busy as is possible for a human being to be. I understand this, and I feel really badly to keep pestering him about sending me this letter. But OTOH, all I’m asking of him if to print out several copies of a letter he’s already written and drop them in the mail… even if he took his time I can’t imagine the entire process would take more than ten minutes.

So… here’s where I’m looking for advice. I’ve composed an email, but I want opinions on it before I send it. The LAST thing I want is to piss Bob off, or even irritate him. I’m not angry, but I am bummed, and a bit frustrated. I want to be 100% certain that I’m not coming across as sounding at all angry, or snarky, or accusatory, or whatever.

So without further ado:

2

Is there anyone else you worked with in that company who could sign a letter for you? It sucks that Bob isn’t sending you the letter you requested, but after you asked him twice and he hasn’t done it, it’s not looking good. He has no particular motivation to do a nice thing for you - it would be coming out of the goodness of his heart, and he doesn’t seem to be going there.

3

Not really. There wasn’t anyone “between” Bob and I, if that’s what you mean - I answered directly to him. I suppose I could ask one of the other general managers, but the letter would just be coming from a peer, and we didn’t work together anyway. I may as well just ask another friend or relative to write me a letter (as I did for my other two).

Bob is really a very fair person, who normally follows through on what he says he’s going to do. It isn’t like him to blow people off. I’m sure he’s just been busy, and forgotten… or something. My main concern is that I don’t want to anger him with my pestering.

4

Your email sounds fine. Fire away.

5

I once had a former coworker (ie, someone I didn’t report to) write a letter of recommendation. They worked with me so they were familiar with my skills and duties. It’s not really the same as using a relative, a relative can’t speak to your work performance. And I’d assume it’s better than having an incomplete application.

6

It’s an awkward situation, but if Bob is as cool as you say, he shouldn’t be offended by a tactful reminder.

My only advice is to lose “I wrote you a month ago asking for it” and “I’m still waiting”, which, without a tone of voice to provide nuance, make you sound impatient and demanding.

7

I think your email should be rather gentler. Apologise for being a nuisance but let him know that you’ve yet to receive the letter of recommendation and that you’re hoping to send off copies very soon (give a definite date which is earlier than the real date).

8

Sure, send Bob a reminder, but you also need to be preparing for what happens when he ignores that too. Whether it’s another general manager or even someone who worked under you, find a non-relative coworker who can testify about your work.

9

I’d call him and have a similar conversation to what you’ve put in your email, but it would leave him in no doubt as to the tone of the request(i.e., you need it, you’re not being horrible, you feel bad for chasing him but don’t have any other option).

10

That’s my take, too - something is better than the nothing Bob has been coming up with.

I would also soften the tone of the email as Wheelz has suggested. Any hint of disapproval is a complete no-no in an asking for a favour situation.

11

Thank you. That was one of the things I was worried about, whether or not I should make a point of how long it’s been.

I thought about doing that, but I don’t know that I can outright lie to him (just a little quirk of mine). That’s why I’ve been using terms like “fast approaching.” In truth, the deadline isn’t until November 26th, but it’s getting uncomfortably close. I’ve been hoping to have the package mailed off before the end of the month, to leave a buffer in case anything goes wrong.

12

Why do you need a letter? :confused: There’s a reasonable chance he no longer has the letter he sent you. You don;t have any copies either?

Can’t he just post a Recommendation for you on LinkedIn? Are you and he on LinkedIn, and are you linked?

13

The alternative teaching certification program I’m applying to requires three letters of recommendation. On paper, with inked signatures. I’m also planning to apply to a bunch of teaching fellowship programs, which will also require original letters of recommendation. That’s why I want Bob to send me several copies.

Bob wrote a letter for me earlier this year, when I changed majors in my grad school. He sent it directly to the university, so I never saw it, and don’t have any copies. I’m assuming, since he asked me if I wanted any changes to the letter, that he still has it.

I’ve never used LinkedIn, but doesn’t it have to do with jobs and companies? I’m applying to a program run by the State of Alaska. Not that it matters; their instructions explicitly state to send hard copies.

ETA: I changed my major to Mathematics Education, so Bob’s letter will still be good for the programs I’m applying to.