So… This one’s kinda rough for me.
I had a friend. Or maybe have? I’m not sure at this point, but things point to the former. For the sake of the thread, I’ll call her ‘K’.
K and I have been friends for maybe four years now. Up until recently, we talked online pretty much every day, and met up with a mutual friend once a week to hang out, game, watch movies, whatever.
Back in August, the once-a-week thing started straining a bit- the mutual friend often couldn’t make it, and we’d just call it off. Once or twice we met anyway, and things seemed okay.
September came, and K started getting really interested in an online game (Monster Hunter). It started taking up much of her free time, and we talked less and less frequently.
Mid-October, K cancelled one of our weekly get-togethers, citing being unwell. Both me and the mutual friend wished her well, and talked about getting together the following week. Immediately following, K sent out another message saying she wasn’t in a good head-space, and she was cancelling the weekly meetings indefinitely. The tone used was mildly passive-aggressive.
I tried to talk to her afterwards with mixed success, but her responses got fewer and farther between, usually under the guise of not feeling well, being tired, or being busy with other things.
Now, I will admit- in past years, if K has been upset about something, she goes quiet for a while. But that while is often 2-3 days. Not weeks.
She’s said she needs me to respect her boundaries, and that she worries my psychological state is too attached to her, which, I will admit, it may be. I have issues with abandonment, and four of my friends have recently left the state, so I’m trying to hold on to those I have.
I’ve been told by my therapist that I need to just mourn the friendship and move on. But I’ll be honest… Not only do I not really want to (I want my friend back, dammit!), I don’t really know how. How do you let go of someone who’s important to you… and who’s still around?
(For slightly more info: Mutual friend gets very evasive when the subject of K is brought up. Also, K will -occasionally- text me, but it’s along the line of ‘hope your Thanksgiving is good’, and will not respond to any replies. She’s also said we’re still friends, but… with this semi-ghosting, that’s hard to believe at this point.)
Ghods, this was a ramble. Thanks for listening, and thanks for any advice you might want to give.