Advice Needed--Stupid High School Politics

In My Humble Opinion
1

Ok, I am 18 and a senior in high school. Last year, our yearbook came out late, and a lot of people were really angry about it, so this year the administration made yearbook a class, and they seem determined to make the best yearbook ever. They are doing polls and taking tons of pictures.

Of course they are doing the traditional sort of senior poll, “most likely to succeed,” “most athletic,” “cutest couple,” and all that stuff. However, they also had “most obnoxious,” which is my problem.

The way they did these polls was to give everyone a sheet with the categories on it, and everyone was supposed to pick a boy and a girl for each. I threw mine away, because I hate that sort of popularity contest. Then, a week or so later, they gave out a ballot with three choices for each category. And my name was under “most obnoxious.”

Now, I don’t really like a lot of the people at school, and they don’t like me. I know this. I am a know-it-all, and I like to show off. However, usually we ignore each other. But this is just not cool.

So today I happened to see the tally of votes…and I “won.” I was really pissed off, and I was saying things like, “I’m not really that annoying, am I?” to the girl with the tally sheet. And these other girls, 3 or 4 of them, started saying things like, “Yeah, you are. Shut the fuck up.” I wasn’t even talking to them.

I was really mad, and kind of hurt, because I didn’t think that so many people would vote for me. So now a few other people were trying to cheer me up by saying things like, “It doesn’t really mean anything, Lindsay. They’re just stupid. It’s not that deep,” but that didn’t really help. I know they are stupid, but I don’t want their stupidity concerning me to be in the yearbook forever. Also, this was the only bad category in the poll. All the other categories were positive.

Anyway, I started crying, which was awful, because it was embarassing and the girls who had been harassing me started laughing. It was just an incredibly bad situation. I ended up going to the bathroom and staying in there for about 20 minutes until I felt a little better.

My plan at this point is to as the teacher in charge of the yearbook to take it out. He probably will, because he’s an ok guy, but my problem now is how to deal with the people who were harassing me. They obviously hate me, and they will hate me even more once I ask the yearbook teacher to take it out. I am afraid an all-out feud will come up between me and my friends and these people.

I am not looking for sympathy, I am looking for ways to deal with these people messing with me. Any advice would be most welcome.

2

At the risk of sounding trite, I say let the teacher take the category out - it’s pretty lousy that there was a negative category at all, much less only one negative category - and let the whole thing blow over. I know that’s easier said than done, but letting this get to you won’t accomplish a thing, other than causing you more stress and grief, and giving the people who dislike you more ammunition. I was probably the least popular kid in school when I was in high school, and the greatest thing I ever learned was that a sense of humor goes a long way. Hell, I’d probably have loved it if I got voted Most Obnoxious - at least it would have meant I was memorable.

All that said, did your user name change slightly (spacing?)

3

Nope, it’s been like this.

I think that my problem with it was that it was “obnoxious,” not “smartass” or something. I don’t want to be memorable in a bad away.

4

I agree with TellMeI’mNotCrazy. Try to have the catagory removed. And keep, or find a sense of humor about the whole thing. Good natured indifference and a little self deprecation will carry you a long way if it makes it to the yearbook.

5

Somehow I think I’ve blown my chance for good natured indifference, but I couldn’t help it. I don’t react well to being bullied.

6

I know this is going to sound like one of those “when you’re older, blah, blah” but I don’t mean it that way, trust me. I’m only seven years out of high school myself. However, my advice is this – get the teacher to take it out, since it never should have been there in the first place. It’s mean-spirited. Hell, though, even if you left it – no one will remember it two days after you’ve graduated. High school means jackshit in the bigger scheme of things, although they’d convince you otherwise. Not a soul is going to care who won “Prettiest” or "Most Popular’ or any of that horsecrap in the real world.

7

Another vote for ask the teacher to take it out. And because your post made me think of it, here’s a blog post about the idiocy of high school that might make you smile.

8

When you go to your first reunion (usually 10 years), everybody usually changes so much (especially emotionally) and could care less about who was voted for what. If anything, if/when they review their yearbooks and see your name next to “Most Obnoxious”, and see you after 10 years, it won’t really be such a stab in the back, it’ll be more like a purple heart. Play it off like it’s no big deal, because it isn’t…in the long run.

If you happen to still be obnoxious in 10 years, then don’t show up to the reunion to prove that they were right.

9

Or who made the best yearbook ever, for that matter.

I’ve got two pieces of advice. You choose which one you like best:

  1. Get the yearbook teacher to take out “most obnoxious” from the yearbook. I’m astounded that he let it get in there in the first place. After that, go back to your regularly scheduled ignoring those people. Graduate from high school. Go to college. Make something of yourself. Never go back to class reunions or anything like that.

  2. Do as above until you graduate. After that, take a trip to the Sirius system in a starship at a high percentage of the speed of light, the faster the better. Come back and go to your 20th high school reunion, having aged only two years or so since high school. Laugh at the people who are 20 years older :cool:

10

I’ve been yearbook advisor for six years and this sort of thing makes me a little sick to my stomach. First, the teacher needs to get that category removed immediately. It was designed to be cruel and is therefore beyond innappropriate – I can’t think of enough words for how bad this is. He’s lucky you’re (probably?) not a litigious sort. Here, I’d be expected to apologize to you in person and write a public apology for the school bulletin if you desired.

As for those little fart sniffers who gave you a hard time, ignore them unless it escalates, or try a little joke. Me? I’d joke that I was so happy to have won, you hate me! You really, really hate me! Or something actually funny, heh.

And if talking to the teacher yourself doesn’t work, get your parents into the principal’s office ASAP. This should never have gone beyond the brainstorming stage, much less been executed.

11

I was voted, simultaneously, Class Clown and Teacher’s Pet. I was quite honored at the former; I didn’t think I was that funny. The latter I wasn’t too keen on. But I was more struck by the dichotomy of being voted both.

To this day, a mere 17 year later, (gulp) I STILL can’t figure out how I managed to do that. What my peers didn’t realize is that Class Clown usually pisses most teachers off. The one for whom I probably earned the Teacher’s Pet? She took me aside and asked me very respectfully to knock it the F%#* off. Since she respected me, I complied and treated her with respect thereafter. (Teachers, let that be a lesson to you.) The teachers who tried to discipline me, or graded me harder than the rest of the class, were subject to my heckling (and general obnoxiousness) throughout high school.

I say, play it off with a sense of humor, which will fly in the face of the “obnoxious” label and some day you might be able to look back on it and be proud they thought you were obnoxious. Because then you’ll realize that the people whose opinions most matter to you don’t vote on stupid petty crap like that. And, once its published and all the popular kids sign each other’s, nobody looks in the damn things except for the weekend before the reunion… IF you go to the reunion.

12

My yearbook staff did away with these categories largely for the reason you’ve outlined. They can be cruel, even those that were well-intentioned. The adviser told us about this decision based on some of his own experiences; namely, the least popular student picked as a joke (he told us that one student attempted suicide not long after; another year, some girl who had already had two kids was picked); the cancer patient picked as the student with the best hair; that sort of thing. So, at my high school, they didn’t have these categories at all. You can’t get in trouble for what you don’t say, after all.

I think the advice that’s been laid out so far is good. Ask the adviser to take the “most obnoxious” out of the yearbook. Let him know about the teasing you’ve gotten. But be prepared to take crap for this from the other kids.

Take heart. Next year, you’ll be in college, away from these people.

Robin

13

Very simple to solve, when they say anything to you do the follow.

  1. Look at them say “Hey” pause for about 2 seconds and then say “shut up”. For reference Stewie on Family Guy did it once (maybe in the episode where he and brian go to Europe)

  2. Look away/Read something on your desk. In general just ignore them.

  3. If they continue to say something to you look up fairly slowly and say “Are YOU still talking”. Speak fairly slowly, quiet but confident and emphasize the you.

What you need to communicate by your tone, speech pattern and body language is that you consider them to be so worthless, so low that they are not worthy of you responding to them. What you cannot do is give any indication that you care in the slightest bit what they think or what they are saying. Needless to say crying is out of the question

14

High School sucks. Take comfort because it’s almost over and you can leave those shitheads behind forever.

I’ll never forget a conversation I had with a typical high school idiot during my senior year.

Idiot: You’re really lame looking.
Haj: That’s nice. You’re stupid. Let’s see what you’re doing in ten years and what I’m doing in ten years.

It cracked up the Spanish teacher who overheard us and shut him the hell up.

Haj

15

I was voted for a superlative. “Most Humorous”. It’s kinda ironic because I was teased a lot from elementary school to high school, but by the 12th grade I had developed a way to transform “laughing at” to “laughing with”. Or so I had thought.

Shortly after the winners were announced, a girl (who had once been my friend, but had become an enemy of sorts) told me she couldn’t figure out how I’d gotten the title since I wasn’t the least bit funny. The only reason I was voted, she said, was because people liked to laugh at me. What she said hurt my feelings. Ten years later, I still think about it. It seems like that superlatives stuff brings out the worst in people.

Go to the teacher and say, “I think this Most Obnoxious category is inappropriate, and I’m not saying it just because I was voted. I think we should take it out or replace it with a more positive category.”

Although it’s not nice being told that you’re obnoxious, sometimes that’s how “know-it-alls” come across. You shouldn’t kiss your classmates asses after this, but is it possible that you’ve done things to make enemies? Is it too late to be nicer and make amends and be less “know-it-allish”?

16

I hated high school too. People are at their open meanest, and your experience is the apotheosis of what I hated about it. You are not alone, and even if you are obnoxious, it’s sick and evil that students get to vote for that quality and slap that label on someone. Shame on the yearbook advisor. I hope he has tenure, because this is the kind of thing that could really be made to bite him in the ass.

Here comes the pep talk: you only have to get through the next 8 months. It will seem like eternity, but you will leave these people behind. After you graduate, I sincerely hope you will be going away to college, out of town, because if you do, you will never have to see these people again unless you want to. Ha.

I left high school behind and never look back. I don’t talk to anyone who went to my high school and don’t want to. You will too. Just set your chin and go forward.

Rubystreak-Most Logical, Class of '89

17

The teacher should never have allowed that catagory to exist. High school is hard enough for our kids. Adding that kind of negative pressure wasa huge lack of judgement. Ask that it be removed and then ignore (if possible) the taunts. Harrassment should, of course, be reported, if it comes down to that.

Hang in there, MI, I think you are neato. Marvy fab. Cool. Whatever the kids are saying these days. . Really.

18

This is not meant in any flippant way, but it is true all the same.
What you are going through won’t mean a damn thing in a few years. I was one of those people “in the middle”, in High School. Not cool but not uncool. Not very popular, but not very unpopular. Not a sports stud, not a total nerd. In the middle. I went to exactly one reunion years later. All the people I had thought were so cool, weren’t shit when I saw them with more “grown up” eyes. They had gone no where with their lives. Meanwhile I had done my hitch in the Army, seen a couple of states and small part of the world (Panama), gotten a degree, and had a nice paying job. They had let themselves go to seed, and I was just starting to look sort of good (in comparison). I think I was the only one there who was happy with his life. The gloating was so sweet.

So, I’m going to steal a phrase for you to think about:

"The best revenge is to live well".

And do go to one reunion. Gloating can be fun, in small doses.

19

Even five years after graduation, if you choose to meet these people again, it won’t mean a thing. Time has a way of making jerks forget that they were jerks, and

… nostalgia makes them think that you and school was the best time ever. Trust us old farts, there is much more to come that will make high school seem like the self-absorbed cheap thrill that it is.

There may be one small kernel of truth in this: you may come across as aloof and superior. Take an honest look at how you present yourself to the world, and ask yourself if you have more to offer than just your intellect. I’ll bet you do.

Vlad/Igor

20

I am in highschool, have been for quite some time, and yet none of this ever happens. There really is no social hierarchy at our school and everyone seems to mix and coexist with each other peacefully. What the hell is wrong with us?!