Dear Dopers,
After a prolonged bout of whinging and whining about the insidious spread of my waistline, I’ve finally decided to do something about it and have vowed to take up regular exercise.
After weighing up the options (gym too boring, jogging too hard on joints, swimming pool not too hygienic and not very accessible), I’ve decided to buy a bicycle and start cycling the 12 miles to work and back every day.
That should show my belly who’s boss! I’ll bet that after a few weeks of cycling 24 miles a day, I’ll be back to my former lean, mean physique, with thighs the size of hams and six-pack abs to make the ladies swoon…
After dropping by the bike store near my house and ogling the sexy gleaming machines on offer, I’ve got my eye on a nice sporty model with flat-top handlebars.
Not as expensive as I thought it would be, but the sheer amount of technical jargon and choice was a bit daunting. As the shopkeer was going on about “Derailleurs”, “rolling resistance” and “Sports geometry”, I nodded my head sagely and made vaguely affirmative grunting noises now and then.
Now bearing in mind that I haven’t ridden a bike for at least ten years and haven’t done any real physical exercise for at least two, the thought occurred to me that I might be just a tad overambitious.
12 miles doesn’t really sound like a lot, but when driving in to work this morning and checking out the route from a prospective-cyclist’s point of view, I’m starting to have my doubts. So here are the pros and cons as I see them:
PROS:
Will increase cardivascular fitness and help burn unwanted fat
Will save me £40 a week on petrol costs
Will allow me to get more fresh air on the rather scenic route in to work
Wil help save the planet
May eventually allow me to sell my gas-guzzling sports car for something cheaper and more economical to use on the weekends
The resulting leaner, fitter body will get me more sex with nice young women
CONS:
Will cost me about £300 for a good -quality bike (which means I need to use it every day for about two months before it starts offsetting fuel costs)
Will mean I have to wake up an hour earlier every day.
Will expose me to mortal danger in the form of traffic along some of the busier sections of the route.
The necessary safety clothing will make me look like a dork
I do NOT look good in spandex shorts
And finally, frequent bouncing and crushing of the genitals will lead to an inability to enjoy the aforementioned sex with nice young ladies.
So anyway, I thought I would turn to you, my faithful fellow dopers, for some solid advice. First of all, how long would it take a complete slob like me to cycle 12 miles? Not too many hills between here and the office, (no seriious ones, anyway) so I should be okay there, but I figure perhaps an hour. Should I work my way up to it?
Secondly, how effective would cycling be as a means of keeping fit and losing those inches? How soon can I expect to see results? Should I buy a bumper-size pack of condoms now to avoid the inevitable rush?
Finally, just what kind of bike should I get for commuting? I guess a mountain bike would be inappropriately heavy and chunky for road use, but I’ve also heard that the curved handlebars of a traditional road bike do not make for a safe upright riding position when weaving through traffic. Should I get suspension forks and and suspension seat to minimise the nad-crushing?
Come on all you devoted dopers cyclists out there, I need your help!
Yours,
Bib