I can’t help you much with tips for learning kanji, since I suck at them myself, but I can point you in the right direction for everything else ^^
First of all, take some classes. Self-study is great, but it’s really beneficial to take a class, if only for ready access to somebody who can answer questions that may arise.
Hmmm… if you had to choose, I’d focus first on speaking and listening, but ideally you should be learning reading/writing at the same time, although speaking and listening will naturally outpace kanji learning if my experience is in any way normative.
I didn’t particularly like any of my textbooks, but they all got the job done. If you don’t like textbooks, I do recommend studying from guidebooks. I have a collection of about 10 guidebooks which are useful from beginner to advanced. Here are their names. You can find them on Amazon I reckon.
Barron’s 501 Japanese Verbs
Japanese Core Words and Phrases: Things you can’t find in a Dictionary
Making Sense of Japanese: What the Textbooks don’t Tell you
Love, Hate, and Everything in Between: Expressing Emotions in Japanese
An Illustrated Dictionary of Japanese Onomatopoeic Expressions
Beyond Polite Japanese: A Dictionary of Japanese Slang and Colloquialisms
Barron’s Japanese Grammar: Second Edition.
Aaand lastly, a pseudo-textbook, Basic Japanese through Manga.
All those combined with a dictionary and textbook should give you all the written material you’ll need, except for whatever Japanese publications you choose to practice reading with.
Here are some websites I have also found useful:
Online Japanese Dictionary
Visual Grammar Lessons
Blog about learning Japanese
Online Kanji Translator
Kanji Practice
Japanese pronunciation drills
What else… what else… Oh yeah! Make some Japanese friends! www.mylanguageexchange.com costs like 15$ a year, but I’ve made some wonderful friends (and one GF) from it. Also, once your reading gets better, you can join MIXI, which is the Japanese version of Facebook.
Feel free to let me know if you have any questions. My Japanese is not fluent, but I can speak and listen at an advanced level, so feel free to PM me for my hotmail addy. がんばれ~!(gambare - try your best!).