Advice sought with regards to a girl! Of course (long)

Regardless of your online and telephone history, you only saw this girl in person for a couple of days, and were really only alone for one. IMO it is unreasonable to expect anything to happen, and it doesn’t mean the girl is any less into you. She sounds really shy and will need time, especially in light of her recent breakup.

I would feel her out about a second visit, which would involve a lot time where it’s just the two of you.

OTOH, starting off with a long distance relationship has never made much sense to me. Have you tried OKCupid and other dating sites where you can find local people?

I got that you had seen each others’ pictures before. But is this the first time you’ve met IRL? If so, what did you think about her? Was there the same chemistry that you had on the phone IRL? When you saw her, did you think she was more attractive than her picture . . . or not? There are a lot of details about what you did and tried to do, but not a lot about whether you were bowled over by her or not. I think that your interest might be leading hers and your lack of interest might be evident also.

The source of her conflict might be the mixed signals you gave her regarding your interest in her. And the signals are equally as mixed in your OP. On the one hand, you’re interested in having sex with her and interested in continuing your relationship on the phone and e-mail but would drop it in a minute if she didn’t show any interest toward you. Perhaps it would be helpful to sort out how you felt before asking how she felt.

I have been this girl, and I’m telling you, she is just not into you, dude.

If she was into you, she’d have been holding your hand like a motherfu… like a person that loves to hold hands. At least.

She’s not attracted to you.

Then there’s the whole asking about the hooking up thing when you were together. Not. Good. Don’t do that again.