Adviced needed - I was driving my cat to be declawed in my Ford Expedition...

[descamisado]

@Revtim

That reminds of when I was driving my Hummer to get my puppy-mill dog fixed (and circumcised), and I almost ran over some fucking retard on some kind of faggoty little moped. I yelled “Geezus tittyfucking christ! That bike is gayer than cum on mustache! You get a free rectal examine with the purchase? Maybe a complimentary prostate-shine? FAG!”. He started yelling at me, but I couldn’t understand his messed-up talking - then I realized the queer wasn’t just a kinda-retard, but an actual full-on “Special Olympics” fell-out-of-Sarah-Palin’s-snatch retard. He jumped off his moped and lifted it over his head with his retard strength and chucked it at my hummer!

This was just sort of funny but I feel obliged to say you owe me a new keyboard.

And a de-hoofed pony.

[BlinkingDuck]

@Revtim

That reminds of when I was driving my Hummer to get my puppy-mill dog fixed (and circumcised), and I almost ran over some fucking retard on some kind of faggoty little moped. I yelled “Geezus tittyfucking christ! That bike is gayer than cum on mustache! You get a free rectal examine with the purchase? Maybe a complimentary prostate-shine? FAG!”. He started yelling at me, but I couldn’t understand his messed-up talking - then I realized the queer wasn’t just a kinda-retard, but an actual full-on “Special Olympics” fell-out-of-Sarah-Palin’s-snatch retard. He jumped off his moped and lifted it over his head with his retard strength and chucked it at my hummer!

I like the cut of your jib…but I was trying to cover all bases…you need more for the conservatives to yell at

[kaylasdad99]

@VinylTurnip

After my fat black pharmacist refused to fill my Oxycontin, my ADD made me run over my pedophile neighbor’s unleashed pit bulls as I tailgated an Aspie riding helmetless on a loud-pipe Harley in the slow lane on the way to a gay wedding reception for non-tipping picky eaters. I blame liberals.

@VinylTurnip

Oh, and the mods, of course.

Nice going, now the thread has to be moved to [del]ATMB[/del] 13CAOT.

[CannyDan]

@Pleonast

If we put the Ford on a treadmill that can go up to 0.999999…c (since we know nothing can actually reach the speed of light), behind one of three doors, and I reveal your cat behind one of the doors you didn’t pick, it doesn’t really matter if you open the first door you picked or not, because Bernoulli’s principle will make it fly anyway.

So is the cat dead, or is it alive? Or can we tell unless the door is closed? I take a proprietary interest in felines.

[Shot_From_Guns]

@CannyDan

I take a proprietary interest in felines.

I hope that means you keep them indoors. Only retards let their cats wander outside.

[CannyDan]

@Shot_From_Guns

I hope that means you keep them indoors. Only retards let their cats wander outside.

Yeah, well, we’re gonna get kitteh wrangling into the Special Olympics! Then you’ll be sorry!

[VinylTurnip]

@descamisado

This was just sort of funny

<pulls up a lawn chair, popcorn, and a bucket of bacon>*

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

Sarah Palin.

[Spoons]

@BlinkingDuck

I was driving my cat to be declawed in my Ford Expedition…

What, your vet will declaw cats in a Ford Expedition? You’d think the vet would do the procedure in an operating room on a table; but hey, who am I to tell them how to do their job?

[CannyDan]

@Really_Not_All_That_Bright

Sarah Palin.

You just came here to say ugly and disgusting things. We don’t need your kind in this thread. This is The Snuggly Kitten Forum, after all. Now go wash your er, keyboard off with soap!

[Shot_From_Guns]

ETA: Napkin sandwiches.

Oh god, I think I need to buy myself a custom title…

[CannyDan]

@Shot_From_Guns

ETA: Napkin sandwiches.

So now everybody has potty mouth? Careful, or *she who should not be named *will appear and we’ll all have to abandon this thread.

[descamisado]

I’m black but I like coffee.

In an Ford Expedition.

Or on a horse.

[ianzin]

@Revtim

…He jumped off his moped and lifted it over his head with his retard strength and chucked it at my hummer!

But, I wonder, what was his policy on dryer lint? Clearly, it’s the next person’s responsibility to deal with it, right?

[Shot_From_Guns]

Wait, shit, did you check the vet’s bathroom? Which way was the toilet paper hanging?

[Hampshire]

Sure, declawing your cat is trendy nowdays. But what happens a few years from now when claws are back in style? Then we’re going to have to go back to the same damn vet and pay them to get our cats clawed.
It’s a never ending cycle and the vets are just getting richer and buying more fat food.

[Dag_Otto]

@Hampshire

Sure, declawing your cat is trendy nowdays. But what happens a few years from now when claws are back in style? Then we’re going to have to go back to the same damn vet and pay them to get our cats clawed.
It’s a never ending cycle and the vets are just getting richer and buying more fat food.

Whoa there, wait a minute! You don’t let the vet keep the claws, you ask for them back just in case the style changes. Then the Vietnamese ladies down at the nail salon can patch the cat back up.

Unless you froze the cat to beat the vet to death. Then you take it to the Korean market.

[toodlepip]

Could a mod please insert a link to a cute pic of your cat and move this to MPKIMS? If you’d read the rules before posting, you would know that all cat threads are required to have a minimum of one photo and two amusing kitty anecdotes.

Anyway, I can’t believe nobody’s suggested freezing the cat and beating the vet to death with it.

[CannyDan]

@toodlepip

…
Anyway, I can’t believe nobody’s suggested freezing the cat and beating the vet to death with it.

Post 4

[NinjaChick]

Just freeze the vet and beat the cat to death with it.