More than two is a mob.
Loitering is standing in front or behind a business and annoying or potentially annoying other customers. If I recall, Jay and Silent Bob were always loitering in the Clerks movies. Flipping through the CD racks in Sam Goody or waking by the window displays munching on a soft pretzel is not loitering. (Shut up, I realize my picture of the mall is a little dated. When I was hanging out at the mall, there were still CD stores, ok?)
And the point is, whatever you think of window-shopping / hanging out at the mall / loitering, and whatever you tell your kids about it, black teenagers have a much lower threshold for behaviour that gets them harassed by shopkeepers and authorities or into real trouble. Therefore, the consequences for minor misbehaviour / acting like a teenage doofus are much higher for black kids than for white kids.
hmm there’s ya problem! One of sons and daughter have red hair and they stand out in any crowd. My other son and daughter have blond and brown hair and don’t stand out even though they all look alike.
But anyway back to OP, in Australia I have heard this happening in Aboriginal communities but it was anecdotal.
I think the word you’re looking for is privilege, and the simple fact that your race influences the way others perceive your actions at all times.
(white guy in Trinidad)
My wife’s family has employed me as a white prop before for various uses, works like a charm. I’m also the designated phone person because apparently a USA accent is intimidating, I enjoy fucking with people’s expectations sometimes but sometimes I’m just tired. One of these days I’m gonna go full bore on someone for fun 
This is one depressing thread.
My papa always told me that if you walked into someplace expecting a fight, you’d find one. If someone walks into a store expecting to be harassed they will be. My dad never had “the talk” with me, but it’s definitely something that an energetic and boisterous young man picks up from friends and older companions.
This isn’t true. The press and community leaders treat it differently when it happens. Different groups are suspect in different areas and at different times. Hispanics, Greeks, Italians, Irish; all have been the subject of increased attention from the police in my lifetime. Any concentration of a particular ethnicity sparks a danger signal in people.
Black is different though. There are only a FEW situations where a young black man isn’t viewed with suspicion. If he is in a group of young black men, he is threatening. Alone he is up to something. In his 20s, well dressed, in the workplace and in CONTEXT he isn’t tagged as a bad guy, but the same 20 year old well dressed guy driving through a neighborhood “probably deals.”
Most black people can be identified as black from a pretty far distance. A few can “pass” even close up and you might not realize that your coworker self identifies as black. But its rare that most of us can pick out Greek/Italian/Irish from a crowd (or for that matter - gays and lesbians). Hispanics, Native Americans and Asians have some of the same issues as Blacks, but the racial baggage society makes them carry is lighter, and the negative baggage is significantly more regional. (i.e. here in the Twin Cities, my Asian son needs “the talk” because of Hmong gangs, but his Mexican friend probably doesn’t).
Women have a similar problem of seldom being able to “pass” as anything other than female, but the problem women have is not that some people look at them and see “threat” but that some people look at them and put them into the “victim” box.
Yes it is, but education is worth it.
Huh. I’m female (and white), and I usually end up shopping on my way home from work so I have my messenger bag with me. I rarely think about this, and I’ve never been accused of shoplifting. I guess that’s one perk of looking harmless. (Of course it’s quite possible that people are watching me closely and I’ve just never noticed.)
My parents definitely trained me to always be polite to cops and do whatever they instruct without talking back, but it was more ‘here’s how we behave in a civilized country’ rather than ‘here’s how to avoid raising suspicion’. I’m sad to hear that it’s necessary for some.
I think that this is a conversation that happens in many urban households, especially those on the lower half of the socio economic class spectrum - but it probably happens on a more racial basis in suburban and rural households. I’m in the 'burbs, none of my white friends have had these conversations with their white sons, but we have, and need to again, with our Asian son…because around here, cops are known to target Hmong boys as suspicious. And who can tell Korean from Hmong.
Here’s an interesting video from that “What Would You Do?” show.
In it two separate groups of teens are vandalizing a car. When the black group did it they got ten calls to the police and various people stepped in to intervene.
When the white kids did it there was only one call to the police…and two calls against the black kid’s friends who were in another car sleeping.
As another data point, I grew up in the suburbs, too.
Wow.
Check out the bike thief one.
I’m from rural Maryland. The next town over has a history of KKK activity. I’m the youngest and female, but my older brothers and I got the talk around the same time. Our dad used to be a firefighter, so he knows a lot of people, and since he works for the local government, he knows all the cops. We were taught to always be respectful. To anyone and everyone. We open doors for people, say “please” and “thank you,” and all of the basic niceties that everyone does, but some don’t expect from us (because we all have bad attitudes :rolleyes:). I’m probably the most polite out of my friends; none are black. People say I “act white,” but I’m actually not behaving like a little shit. Odd concept apparently.
Everywhere you go around here you see that damn flag. On clothing, cars, tattoos, frickin everywhere. It’s very hard to pay my respect to people who take pride in that flag. It’s not fun being discriminated, so I don’t, but it’s not like I chose to be a delicious shade of chocolate. They chose to get that tattooed to their head, though.
