(Just in case anyone thinks I’m making a straw man argument, here’s some evidence that I’m not)
I support legalized abortion, but lines like “if you don’t support abortion, don’t have one” are completely confused. To have a moral belief is to think that something is evil (or good), not to merely dislike (or like) that thing. Only a literally demented person could fail to understand the difference.
I dislike Chinese food, but I’d never even dream of telling other people not to have Chinese food. Just how on Earth would I ever confuse a personal preference for a moral belief? I wouldn’t, and other non-demented people wouldn’t either.
But the general theme of “if you don’t like abortion, then you can exercise that preference yourself and leave others alone” acts as though opponents of abortion are unable to tell the difference between their own personal preferences and beliefs about morality. The pro-choice advocates who pump this theme act like pro-life people are akin to people who hate beer and for some reason think that others should also hate beer.
Pro-life people believe that abortion is highly immoral. This generally means that they think it is at least as bad as theft, usually as bad as rape, and often as bad as murder. My point is not that they’re right. But it makes no more sense to respond to them by saying “if you’re against abortion then don’t have one yourself” than it does to say the following:
“If you’re against genocide then don’t commit genocide yourself and let us do what we want.”
“If you’re against tax fraud then just do your taxes honestly and let us do ours however we wish.”
“If you’re against exam cheating than just don’t cheat on exams yourself and let others do what they want.”
I think genocide is evil. I think tax fraud is evil too, though not even remotely as evil as genocide. And I think exam cheating is evil too, though I consider the offense minor enough that the word “evil” might seem a bit excessive (perhaps “wrong” suffices).
I don’t think abortion is wrong. But the key to genuine discourse is taking the other side seriously. Those on the pro-choice side do not personally prefer to let fetuses live; they believe that abortion is evil. So let’s take their beliefs seriously and give up the “do as you will” crap.