My friend is getting married in a few weeks and I wanted to get a little tan for his wedding. So I go to the friendly tanning parlor down the street. They give me the talk about “it probably won’t show up your first time since it takes you awhile to tan”. I was thinking okay I’ll probably have to come here about 10 times in the next month. So I stripped down and got in the bed and after 20 minutes I didn’t feel like I’d gotten anything at all.
Well fast forward to 4 hours later. Good fucking mother of mercy my ass is heating the building. I can’t sit and can’t walk. I can’t sleep on my back and if frickin’ sucks. I swear people can feel the heat coming off of my ass through my jeans. I’ve put about 10 gallons of lotion on my ass and it still hasn’t helped. Fuckity fuck fuck and I’m supposed to go out to the clubs Friday night. At least I can say that the rest of my body looks hot
Who are those people? They’re not supposed to let you stay in there that long your first time. They’re supposed to set a timer so the thing shuts off. Cripes, they’re supposedly the ‘experts’ aren’t they?
If you wanna do this further, I say go to a different place.
I was planning a trip to the Cayman’s, and I did the au naturel bit in a tanning bed once, too. Seeing as my ass hadn’t seen that much UV in well, ever, I also got a well-toasted can.
I hope your butt doesn’t peel. How unattractive would that be?
was a tanning enthusiast for many years and she now has
people asking if she is my wife’s mother (true story). She’s
only 3 years older! Your body’s pretty smart and it’s
trying to tell you something.
Last year, my fiancee and I decided to tan a bit in preparation for our honeymoon on Mexico. I’m a computer geek from Oregon, therefore pale as pale can be. My first tanning session was a whopping 7 minutes, and I felt slightly overcooked by then. I worked up to 15 minutes, and never more. I can’t believe they let you stay in for 20 minutes your first time. Go elsewhere.
People, tanning isn’t healthy!It’s your body’s reaction to excessive UV radiation to prevent damage by darkening the skin. UV radiation prematurely wrinkles the skin, causes skin cancer, and can contribute to cataracts later in life.
Although tanning salon lamps use UVA light, which is less immediately damaging than UVB rays, UVA penetrates the skin more deeply and causes long-lasting damage.
For Jah’s sake, do you really want your skin to look like a pitcher’s glove by the time you’re 40?
I would go to a different place but the tanning package was free. I won it as a door prize. So whenever my free visits are up I’m just thinking about going to the cheaper place down the road. My ass still burns though.
