My advice to travelers is…
CHECK YOUR BAGGAGE
I once flew from Chicago to Detroit and was seated right at the door. Every other person coming on had a hanging suitcase they asked to put in the closet. After about 3, it was full and the people had to go out and check them.
Yes, waiting for luggage is a pain and yes there is a small chance your luggage will get lost but you just waste everyones time when you think you can just carry it all on.
Which reminds about another pet peeve of mine.
“Ladies and gentlemen we have landed at XXX Airport, please remain seated with you seatbelt fastened and keep the aisles free from all hand luggage until the captain has turned off the fastens eat belts sign.”
Followed by click, click, click and thunk, thunk, thunk as all the sheep do the exact opposite of what they just were told.
In my experience it’s usually click, click, click, then thunk, thunk, WHACK as one of the people who actually followed instructions gets hit on the head by one of the idiots who can’t wait :mad:
I hate people who don’t think the rules regarding cell phones being kept off during flight apply to them. On one flight from DC to Charlotte, the Idiot Triplets ended up having three phones confiscated due to their attemptint to make multiple calls while flying. They also thought the rule that requires passengers to refrain from standing while within 30 minutes of DC did not apply to them. I guess they were just special.
I hate how people can wait until they are first in the security line before getting their boarding pass and IDs out or before taking shoes and coats off. This is especially aggravating when there are multiple signs instructing one to do so and airport employees yelling that everyone needs to help keep the line moving by getting these things ready.
I pit those who claim their bags, then stand there and wait for the other people in their parties to also claim their bags! Some passengers can’t get in to the conveyor belt to get their suitcases, and others can’t get out around you once they’ve gotten theirs…move to the side and wait for your darling hubby 15 feet away, I garantee you that you will not get lost (obviously, this does not include young children).
It also bothers me when all six or eight people in a party take up a huge amount of space waiting for the baggage, but only one or two of them is actually doing any of the work to get the baggage. Again, just move so everybody can have enough room to get in! It’s going to be cramped no matter what, but that’s no reason to waste space when you could easily be standing further away.
Oh HELL yeah.
And when you’re standing at the conveyor belt, and the person next to you is completely oblivious to the fact that you’re trying to swing a 5 foot 900 pound HOCKEY bag (my son’s when he flew up to see me every other weekend), off of the conveyor.
If you see someone trying to move a bag off of the belt, and yours hasn’t come yet, MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!!!
…sometimes the announcements over the PA system makes them sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher.
“HWAH HWAH WAH WAH WAAAAAAH.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“HWAH WAH WAAH WAH WAH WAAAAH.”
“Yes, ma’am. He’s a beagle ma’am.”
“WAH WAH WAH WAAAH WAH.”
“The flight has what, ma’am?”
Amen.
At the same time though, when you do get your giant backpack with all the gear strapped/tied/buckled to it off the belt, don’t put it on right beside the belt. When you turn ninety degrees, you’ll take out three people with it, just like they were dominoes.
Other tips? Be nice. We’re all in this together, for the next few hours, and you’re not going to make it any easier on anybody if you complain loudly and incessantly about every little thing. When we get where we’re going, you’ll have all the time in the world to make that cellphone call, or eat in whatever restaurant you choose, or head to whichever bar strikes your fancy, or listen to whatever music you like. In the meantime, we’re all kind of squashed together, and we have to get along. I’m not always the happiest of flyers, but at least I can understand this and deal with it–I try to be nice to the flight attendants, to my fellow passengers, and to the airport/airline staff with whom I come in contact. By being unrepentedly nasty, you’re only giving the rest of us something to laugh about over our overpriced drinks.
Be ready. The security check might be onerous, but you can make it less so by being ready for it. My pocket change, keys, watch, and so on are all ready to place on the belt by the time I get there–I’m not digging for every little thing and acting surprised that I might have to put my things in a basket.
The ID check might be inconvenient, but again, be ready. They’ll want to see your ID when you check in and again when you board the aircraft. Keep your ID (driver’s license or passport) handy–I usually just put the documents in my shirt pocket when I get to the airport, then they’re handy anytine anybody wants to see them.
I’m off to the US tomorrow. Are they still doing that stupid take-off-your-shoes inspection thing? Surely not?!? I mean could you really fit enough explosive in a sneaker to damage a plane?
Amen, brother. Or sister.
It’s a simple rule. If your bag is fully large enough to hold an adult human body, it should NOT be considered carry-on! * They keep saying that you are allowed on small bag and one personal bag that can fit under the seat. If your ‘small’ bag has wheels on it, it ain’t that small and you should check it. I don’t know why the flight attendants aren’t more vigilant in enforcing that. Maybe they have just given up on it and don’t wanna fight anymore.
Carrying your suitcases on board does not save you any time.
I fly often. All I ever take to my seat is my backpack, which I have the essentials of life in (snacks, medications, reading materials, walkman). EVERYTHING else gets checked.
*[sub]I’m not exagerating. I was on a flight with a woman who put a bag in the overhead compartment that I could have fit inside. AND I WEIGHT 240 POUNDS!!![/sub]
yes, they are - not everywhere, as far as I know, but I flew from Manchester, NH to Orlando, FL just two weeks ago, and I although I didn’t have to take my shoes off, I saw a few people that did. They looked at our shoes though, and basically let most people who were wearing regular sneakers pass without taking them off. I also had to remove my belt, though it was studded, and not just a plain leather belt, so I can understand that.
I was with you up to here. In a possible sign of the increasing laziness of our culture, practically every bag these days has wheels on it, even some backpacks, and some of them are pretty darn small.
Now, if you want to (or are) griping about bags that don’t fit those convenient metal baskets the airlines put out for testing purposes, I’m with you.
Depends on the airport, but yeah, expect to be asked to remove your shoes. I had to do so at Philadelphia and Phoenix within the last three weeks. Hell, in Philly they even made take off my fleece sweater, and run it through the X-ray machine. I guess those two .44’s wouldn’t have shown up had I worn the jacket whilst walking through the regular detector. :rolleyes:
I don’t really blame the various airports (not just in the US, btw) for all these ludicrous safety checks, but what I do hate is that it’s all pseudo safety anyway. John Doe might feel safer on an airplane knowing that all them Arabs have had to take their shoes off, but of course a true terrorist will always find a way. So, whilst it is a nice pacifier for your average brainless idiot, the extra security checks are mostly a time consuming annoyance to anyone with a functioning brain.
Like this?
Well, the Lockerbie bomb was hidden inside a radio cassette player, and that blew the plane clean in half. You could do serious damage with a sole-full of Semtex.
I heard an anecdote once (probably an urban legend; every funny story seems to turn out to be a UL). Anyway, plane had just touched down; FA announced, “Anyone who would like to help us clean the aircraft before the next flight, please come to the front of the cabin.”
Everyone stayed put.
They actually ask you whether or not you’re a Nazi war criminal. No crap.
Are any of those guys still alive? Talk about an outdated question. Even the Israelis have pretty much given up the hunt for Nazis, right?
I was travelling the very weekend they started asking this question. For some unfathomable reason, the first words out of my mouth were, “Yep! I tied my own shoes, too! See?” And showed them my feet. The ticket agent looked at me like she didn’t know whether to laugh with me or at me.
Orbifold that was most excellent.
To bad that the airlines are now the Greyhound busses of the Air.
Oooh! Oooh!, I got one!
When you’re putting your hand luggage through the security check and the nice man asks you if you’d mind opening it up for him, ALWAYS… no… NEVER say “Why? D’you think I’ve got a BOMB in there or something?”.
Actually, no, make that ALWAYS after all; the sight of three burly security officers wrestling you to the ground is too funny. (Yes, I actually witnessed such an event once.
