Trust me. Business class is not first class, at least not on the flights I take, and depending on the plane size and flight distance everything behind first class can be considered business class. More than half the shlubs on any flight I take are headed to some meeting, conference, training, or industry convention. I just came back from the 2006 AHA Scientific Sessions in Chicago and both flights, out and back, were filled with medical and scientific professionals. A few colleagues of mine will only fly business class if they can’t get first class, and where were these folks on my flight back to Philly? That’s right, within groping distance of my seat in 27F. So, were we in coach or business class? 
Bottom line for me is if I’m in back of the red or blue curtain, and am forbidden from using the bathoom in the front of the plane, I’m in coach.
I’ve never heard “business class” and “coach” used as synonyms. Most domestic flights in the US have only first class and coach. On longer flights I have seen some planes configured with first class/business class/coach seating, where business class is definitely a cut above coach, but not quite first class.
But anyone who flies in coach and says that he is in “business class” seating is deluding himself.
Ono, on every major airline that I’ve been on, that’s coach.
Anyone who spends an extra four to eight years in school and another year PG as an intern working 14-hour a day shifts, who flies in coach deserves a little delusion.
If they started actually delivering checked baggage in a reliable manner, people wouldn’t feel the need to try to carry everything on. It’s pretty pathetic that people who travel regularly will FedEx their necessary baggage to their new destination rather than rely on the airline to actually bring the bags with them.
The last time I flew (from Seattle to Minneapolis), it was on NorthWorst and this is how they boarded:
- First class
- Elderly and those with small children (anyone needing assistance)
- Everyone else
Seriously. There was no order whatsoever to the boarding of coach, and this was a plane with 38 rows of 6 seats each. I boggled when the announcement was made. Hearing it, my husband and I ambled to the nearby pub and ordered a whiskey each, savored each sip and STILL had time to “enjoy” the painfully slow shuffle down the loading corridor and onto plane itself.
No, we didn’t leave on time.
So what are you saying? That people who ride in coach sometimes refer to it as business class? Because, as others have posted, I’ve never seen an airline use “business class” when it means “coach.”
I don’t know, acsenray. Hoch mir nicht dann cheinic, okay? As I said, for me everything behind the curtain is coach. This wasn’t the point of my fevered, yet pleasurably cathartic, rant last night anyway.
The best for Southwest, maybe. It is a nightmare for a business traveler. Do they still sing Happy Trails? Gawd, I hate those fuckers.
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I fly an awful lot. I was also a flight attendant for two major US carriers in a previous lifetime. Seating would go a lot smoother if the gate agents handling the boarding process would actually restrict people from trying to get on the plane out of order. Gate agents and flight attendants can be fairly strict on carry-on items (baggage nazis, as it were), but are usually surprisingly lenient about people boarding out of turn. (Of course, I’m sure there are cases like the airport scene in Meet the Parents).
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People sitting in the back who put their luggage at the front of the plane should be shot on sight. That’s not a realistic option, if only because guns aren’t normally allowed on planes. However, did you know that any luggage that can’t be accounted for (i.e., no one claims it) is taken off the flight? So the next time you see self-important fucktard trying to pull that stunt, wait until the person is well in the back, then call the F.A. and say that no one is claiming the luggage. If you’re unlucky, the F.A. will use the intercom to get the lame-ass to come up and claim the item. If you’re really unlucky the F.A. will let Mr. Lame-O leave the luggage where it is, if you’re a little luckier he’ll have to bring it all the way back. If you’re even luckier, by now there’s no room in the overheads and the bag will have to be either gate-checked or put in with the normal luggage. But if you’re REALLY lucky, the F.A. (most of whom also really hate retards who do this) will simply ask in a real quiet voice in the general vicinity who the luggage belongs to, and when no one claims it, said piece of luggage will be taken off the plane entirely as a security threat. You will enjoy the flight, the whole time imagining Mr. Monkey Spunk’s face when he arrives in Des Moines, only to realize he’s *sans * luggage.
c) Given the significant difference in price and minimal difference in service, business class is a pretty decent deal; first class is a major rip-off. Even though only a few people in business, and very few people in first, are actually paying customers. The biggest assholes were invariable people who almost never flew in business class, getting upgraded to business or first and trying so hard to pretend that they flew up front all the time. Sorry-ass pricks; the flight attendants know who the paying customers are and who the upgrades are.
d) Gate checking is a relatively well-kept secret among frequent travelers. People hate checking their luggage less because they worry about the airlines losing their luggage (it happens, but still is fairly rare), they hate having to wait 30 minutes in baggage claim for their things. Don’t like hauling your stuff around the plane? Ask the nice gate agent for a gate check tag when you’re boarding. Most gate agents will do all they can to reduce carry-on items (it does speed up the boarding). They put a ticket on your bag, you leave it at the end of the ramp just before you get on the plane, along with the strollers and baby cars. Maintenance guys come up and bring the stuff down directly; the luggage is brought back up to the same spot at your destination. You might wait a bit, but usually no more than 5 minutes or so, and it’s much better than waiting at baggage claim. Plus, since it’s being taken down directly to your plane, there’s zero chance of your luggage getting on the plane to Bora Bora.
The one good thing that came of the recent restrictions on liquids and gels on airplanes was the reduction of carry-on luggage. I flew a couple of times shortly after the ban was put in place, and loading/unloading seemed much faster, as well as much less luggage in the overhead bins.
I remain unconvinced that this is a reasonable excuse. “Well, they might lose my bags, so i don’t give a shit how much i inconvenience other people.”
Firstly, while i know that there are times when baggage is delayed or even lost, and that it can be very inconvenent, i don’t think it’s frequent enough that people should be frantic about it every time they fly. According to this article, about 1% of checked baggage is mishandled. Of that 1%, the vast majority is reunited with its owner, and “the average delayed baggage file is open for 1.3 days or 31.2 hours from the time the bag is reported missing to when it is found and restored to its owner.”
So, basically, if you are unlucky enough to be among the one in a hundred people who have your bag misplaced, chances are very very slim that it will be lost altogether, and very very good that it will get to you in about a day (often much faster). I understand carrying some essentials on the plane to see you through for a day, but the size of some people’s carry-on suggests that they’re travelling for a month.
I certainly don’t fly as frequently as business travelers, but i’ve flown fairly frequently over the past six years, that i’ve lived in the US, usually on United but sometimes on other carriers. In all my flights with United, my baggage has been delayed once, for two hours, and that was because i changed flights at the last minute after being offered an upgrade to business class. Hardly United’s fault. The only other time i’ve had baggage delayed was by American, on a nightmare flight from Manchester (UK) to Baltimore via Philadelphia (delayed 7 hours in Philly), and the bag arrived at my house by courier about 14 hours after the flight landed.
Given the small chance of something going wrong, i prefer to make my own flight experience more pleasurable (no lugging large bags around the terminal, or onto the plane) and make things easier for others (not cluttering up the overhead bins or delaying boarding) by taking a small amount of carry-on.
If your airline keep losing your bags, i suggest switching airlines.
Don’t know if I read this here or some other web site, but here goes …
A little old lady arriving late for her first class seat was unable to stow her carry-on because some tall, healthy, male fuckwit sitting back in the peanut galley of the plane stowed it up front and then walked to the back of the plane to his seat.
Not missing a beat the little old lady pulled down the fuckwit’s carry-on and replaced it with her own. She then called for a flight attendant and said, …
"Ma’am it seems this carry-on just won’t fit in here. Would you be so kind as to put it in checked baggage for me please?"
I like the way you think. I’ve not seen many people do this, actually. I must admit it was a pleasure to fly right after the new restrictions, when there were fewer carry-ons. I never lost luggage, but my daughter did, having the misfortune of flying USAir to Philadelphia, the black hole of luggage, so bad it was on the front page of the Times the other day.
One downside. On a flight from Austin to Philadelphia, with a stop in Houston, some of my colleagues nicely gave their carryons to be gate checked, due to crowded overheads. Due to storms in Houston, we got there hours late with a detour to New Orleans, and wound up there for the night. None of the luggage on the plane got taken off, and those people who gate checked their luggage wound up going to a hotel, late, with nothing. This was well pre 9/11, and on the old, bad, Continental. I have a small, reasonable, carryon, and I don’t let it out of my sight, thank you very much.
This is the best thing I’ve read in a long time. I can’t wait to try this. Thanks!
OK, so you mixed your numbers and letters a bit, but you know your shit. I’m with you all the way. Don’t many airlines close the first few bins, especially where there is no under seat storage, and keep them available for passengers in those rows? I know United, Singapore Air, and others do this.
Numbers, letters, who cares - it’s not like I write for a living…oh, wait :eek:
I’ve seen some airlines do this. It sometimes causes some unintended problems - there is some psychological pressure at work that generally keeps people from opening bins that have been closed, unless they know their things are already in there. Weird, I know, but true - I’m surprised no study has been done on this. Anyway, often people will keep moving back into the plane trying to find an open bin with room. Then they have to fight back through the line of people coming on the plane, like salmon swimming up stream, to get back to their seats. The same thing kind of happens in reverse when they arrive, unless they sit and wait for everyone to de-plane before collecting their things.
Boarding would be considerably less stressful if a) retrieving luggage wasn’t such a hassle (so people checked more luggage in), b) gate agents actually enforced the ‘wait until your row is called’ rule, and c) people were prevented from trying to bring on ‘carry-ons’ the size of small pianos.
I wanna know where you worked 14 hour days as an intern, you lucky, lucky bastard.
/edwino, who spent an extra 9 years in school and now is working 14 hour shifts between his 30 hour shifts every 4 days.
I’m curious as to where you fly, or in what context you’re hearing the term “business class.” On every United, American, Delta, Air Canada, Northwest, and US Airways flight I have ever been on, there were exactly two kinds of seats, and “business class” were the big ones up front with the free booze. I’ve never heard of “business class” as a term being applied to a coach seat.
As to the general issue, being a weekly flier, I have my Five Rules For Being a Courteous Passenger:
- If it is larger than a briefcase or a small athletic/tote bag, it needs to be checked.
- Follow the boarding instructions and board when your row or zone is called. Until it is called get your ass out of the way.
- Be prepared to get into your seat when you get to it, not after 15 minutes of fumbling around with your shit while you make everyone wait. If it takes you longer than thirty seconds to get into your seat you’re doing something wrong.
- If you have something that needs to go in the overhead bin put it as close to your seat as possible.
- Sit the fuck down!
Just out of interest, as someone who flies so regularly, how often have you had your checked bags delayed or lost?