Eva Luna, you’ll do yourself good to get a card from your physician indicating that you have a medical implant.
Well, so far I don’t set off detectors, and I figure if it comes down to it, the wand over the surgical site combined with the visible scar will probably do the trick. At least it’s below the knee, so it’s not like I’d have to strip or something.
As someone else said, you can take nail clippers if they don’t have that pointy nail-cleaner thing on them. I’ve done it myself. They work just fine for clipping thread.
I flew from Ont to Tampa with a connecting flight in Dallas last week, and it was just about as easy as pie. Of course, I did everything they suggested you do, including not bringing anything questionable and arriving with time to spare.
Regarding the inconsistency of security practices - I’m guessing this is probably due to policy being set locally at airports, but (being generous) perhaps it’s deliberate: after all, wouldn’t it be more difficult for terrorists if they don’t know beforehand which searches and scans they’ll be subjected to?
I read another amusing story. Apparently, commercial airlines pilots are subject to the same search procedures as passengers. So, the TSA people dutifully search / frisk / scan the pilot, confiscating any nail clippers or scissors he might have. The pilot then gets on the plane, and settles in his seat in the cockpit, with a nice axe right behind him in easy reach.
Ooh ohh let me go now…
I travel quite a bit between the States and/or Urp and the Middle East:). So I have ARABIC on and in my passport. Do you want to know how many time I have been pulled aside? One Security guy asked me if I spoke Arabic, 'Some" I say I asked him do you? “No”. Then he starts speaking Arabic to me. WTF?
I don’t really care that they pull me aside, but I do go to the airport well a head of time, and read. Books are your friends.
No blunt fingernail files are allowed, but they let me travel with several decorative mirrors with metal frames I bought in Mexico. Mirrors aren’t on their list, so they’re not dangerous. It would be pretty easy to break the mirror and use the shards to stab someone. The list of prohibited items is pretty arbitrary.
I travel between Canada and the Middle East each month. I only take carry on. Before I get to security I take my wallet, watch, and anything else that is in my pockets and stick it in my luggage. I don’t wear belts or anything with metal on it, so never set off the detectors. The only problem I ever have is returning to Canada and Customs.
“So, you are declaring $730, is that right? That is a pretty accurate amount you have written there.”
Huh? “Yeah, I download the latest exchange rates before I leave work and then use my Palm’s calculator to determine what the value in Canadian Pesos is. Isn’t that what you want? I remember last time when I estimated high that one of the other agents said that you could charge me duty on the difference between what I estimated and the actual value of the items even if that is less than the total $750 amount I’m allowed to bring into the country. So, what do you want me to do next time, guess or be accurate?” All the time I want to scream at her, "See this is a Canadian Passport. I am a Canadian. I have done nothing wrong! If you think I have then get a bloody search warrant, otherwise fuck off!
Anyway, she says, “Have a nice day, Sir”, and hands me back my passport and the customs declaration. I notice she has put a different code on the declaration from what I’ve normally seen. Hmmm…So, I wait until everyone has their baggage from the carousel and are then pushing to get through the final security checkpoint. This is where they collect the declarations and pull those aside who the customs agent determines needs further checking. With the liberal use of elbows and my thumb to block the offending marks on the declaration before handing it to the security person upside down, I got safely out of the airport with little hassle and no one with rubber gloves giving me the finger - literally.
I fly a lot for work. I was actually IN THE AIR for 9-11 coming back from New Delhi via Hong Kong and San Francisco. This has given me an interesting perspective about airline security:
I love it. Check everything, please. The thought of being in a plane, used by evil men to slam into a buidling of innocent office workers is such a horrible thought.
I arrive at the airport 2 hours early for domestic flights, and I’ve always had plenty of time to make it to my gate. I bring a book and just read in line, it’s not a huge deal. My safety and the safety of those flying and those on the ground is worth a couple of hours of tedium.
[sarcasm level = thick]
Checked baggage? What the hell is that??? I carry on three or four wheelies with me. I know, I know, the rules are you can only have two carry-ons. But who follows rules? Rules are for other people, not me.
[/sarcasm]
I have a stainless steel shoulder, I carry a picture of the X-ray LOL
When you could still get to the gate to greet incoming or go with outgoing, I would wear every piece of biker gear I could and make 5-6 tries at the gate and then finally I’d be down to jeans and socks, and still it would beep so I would ask for my wallet and remove the picture of the X-ray.
Then I would block as much of they way as I could and take 10 minutes to put all my stuff back on and in my pockets.
I would be giggling the whole time. Never did it where I was holding up a line as it was not that bad pre 9/11.
Now I travel in shorts and flip-flops and smile at the guards and have my picture in my hand. I have several things to say to [people who actually say anything about my attire but so far I’ve not had to use them. Big and ugly does have a few advantages…
Bawahahahaha
I hope the major airlines DIE as a result of this. I hate flying, airports, airline personnel, security, airport food/drink, airport parking, and I hope to see those monolithic monstrosities called airports rot from disuse.
I’m missing the joke, right?
Also, I HATE checking bags. I don’t trust the airlines. For this trip, though, I don’t have a choice, so I’ll be checking one. I just hope it gets to where I’m going with me.
To lighten this up ? How would the Steve Austin - 6 Million Dollar Man and Jaime Summers - Bionic Woman get through Airport Security these days?
They are Top Secret Technology, they would set off alarms and the X-ray machines.
I’m not crazy about flying either, and certainly not about airports, but the alternative method of seeing my dear college roomie in England would then become a multi-day train ride to NY, followed by a multiple-week boat ride (loads of fun, since I tend to get seasick), followed by another several hours of trains to get to the place in England where she lives. Frankly, I don’t have that kind of vacation time or that strong a stomach. Flying is pretty much a necessary evil for most of us.
I have to laugh about how the TSA, on their web site, publishes statistics for the number and types of items confiscated, as if every single one of those nail clippers and pocket knives they’ve collected was a hijacking prevented.
Overall, TSA personnel are at least better-trained and more polite than the previous private security personnel, but c’mon; the physical searching of every single goddamn passenger and piece of luggage that goes aboard a flight is ludicrous and does nothing significant to enhance security. I’ve flown more than 15 times over the last eighteen months, have had several items of sentimental value but that I inadvertently left in carry-on luggage confiscated, and have had to go through what amounted to a police frisking in front of dozens of strangers several times, and you know what? It was completely pointless, BECAUSE I AM NOT A TERRORIST AND I HAD NO INTENTION OF HIJACKING THE AIRLINER I WAS ABOUT TO BOARD.
Fuck ‘Homeland Security’. I resent being treated as a potential criminal for merely wishing to avail myself of air transportation, and will avoid flying as much as I possibly can until the situation changes.
Joke? The customs agent wanted to know why I was so accurate in my declaration. She used it as an excuse to make, what had been up till then a pleasant journey, more difficult. At a time before I was criticized in not being accurate enough with an estimate of $200. My total was probably closer to $150, but because I had been out of the country long enough to qualify for the $750 deduction, I could claim up to that without anyone bitching. Yet bitch they did anyway. Most times I get through without any problem, but for whatever arbitrary reason they use they decide at times to be bastards. As I am a Canadian, I don’t see why I have to put up with shit from them. I guess the joke might be we allow them to treat us like criminals before they have any proof that we are.
Any of you cynical folk who hate flying are welcome to transfer your tickets into my name. I love flying and look forward to it every chance I get.
Regarding that Alton Brown story, an omelette pan seems like a fine weapon. Just saying.