ALERT!! The Earth is Slowing Down, Scientists Find

Don’t worry - if we get the skyfish to porpoise out of the atmosphere in the other direction, it’ll speed up again.

I believe it won’t stop spinning for good. The Earth will rotate slower and slower and stop for only the briefest moment. My scientific research indicates that the Earth will then actually begin to rotate the other way. The question of whether tomorrow becomes yesterday is the real issue here, it seems to me.

Haven’t we already sent Aaron Eckhart and Hilary Swank off to fix this?

Ummmm, I’ve got some bad news for y’all.

If it is just the rotation that stops, we’d still have seasons and days, only they would both be the same length; 6 months of darkness and winter followed by 6 months of light and summer, as long as the Earth didn’t get tidally locked to the Sun (like the Moon currently is to Earth). Of course, it would get hellishly cold and hot during those “seasons”, probably with huge storms in the transition periods (the tilt of the Earth is also a factor, whether it is “day” when you are facing the Sun or not).