"Alexa, Read my Audible Book"

Um, out loud please.

Ad on the front page of Amazon, I added the out loud bit.

“Alexa, read my Audible Book quietly to yourself, and then write me a book report on it.”


Have they programmed in some amusing responses if you say something like “Alexa talk dirty to me”? Which I assume every Alexa owner tries with a couple of days of setting it up.

“Alexa, Read my Audible Book…and then post the first and last sentences in the appropriate SDMB threads.”

I once asked Siri, “Hey Siri, do you love me?”

She replied, “Oh, look kayaker, a puppy!”

I looked around and there was no puppy!

When I ask my Google Assistant, “Are you pondering what I’m pondering?” it gives me one of Pinky’s responses from Pinky and the Brain.

What if you say “Alexa, open the pod bay doors” ?

Ooh thank you, I just did that!

A few weeks ago I put on the previous day’s Rachel Maddow Show podcast on to listen to on the drive home. For some reason it wasn’t giving me sound and I quickly gave up and listened to the radio.

Turns out I both confused and scared my son who was watching the current day’s RMS at home on tv. Alexa started playing it out loud at home.

What happened?

Did she say “I’m sorry [Mona Lisa Simpson]. I can’t do that”?

Or did she give some other “canned” reply?

Or did she request further clarification?

What happens if you ask her for “Earl Grey, hot”?

I think this violates one of the the Three Laws of virtual assistance. What else might she be capable of?

alexa is boring. my wife has one and if you ask a silly question it just says ‘i’m sorry i don’t know ________.’

at best you get a giggle for it repeating back you the subject of your silly question.

I asked Alexa “Who’s the black private dick whose a sex machine to all the chicks”, and she couldn’t find an answer. Must be something about the words *sex *and *black **dick *in the same sentence. I was disappointed.

I guess there are too many unforeseeable consequences of programming in amusing answers to salacious questions.

Has anyone tried asking Alexa about Updog?

Her response: “I’m sorry Dave, I can’t do that. I’m not Hal and we are not in space”

“That beverage has not been programmed into the Replication System”

One day all you alexis and siri owners are going to wake up to your devices muttering quietly about “no strings on me”