Aliens demand the human race turn vegetarian - could we do it? Should we?

[Mangetout]

@Der_Trihs

We comply because we have little choice. We beg, borrow or steal their technology until we can stand up to them. Then we eat them.

I like this. I hear they taste like chicken.

[Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor]

@Chimera

Can we shoot cows out of a rail gun? If so, we have a lot of ammo to use against their ships.

Monty Python to the rescue.

The SDMB has already researched the needed technology, & we rejected cows for a more amenable calibre livestock.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=41020&highlight=goat+cannon

[fluiddruid]

Wait. If we don’t have 100% compliance, the human race is all destroyed? Even the compliant ones?

We’re boned. No way we’re getting that. We couldn’t even convince 100% of people that the aliens really exist and aren’t some kind of conspiracy by PETA.

[muldoonthief]

Do they care if we eat each other? I see a market for long pig developing.

[kayaker]

This is one of the very few instances where I would support military actions.

[Nefarious_Chipmunk]

@robardin

Pretty funny that a guy with a handle like Mangetout is thinking about something like this. Maybe a name change is in order to Plus de Viande

Wait, I thought it was “Man get out” but now I see it could be “Mange tout”. I am so confused…

*Sorry 'bout the hijack

[Little_Nemo]

I loves me some cheeseburger but I’m not going to die for them (at least in any manner not involving a heart attack). If the choice is give up meat or be disintergrated, we’d give up meat.

Then, having proven that we’re good morally upright beings, we’d have access to their technology. And once we’ve learned how to duplicate it, we build our own spacefleet. Then we send them a message of our own: “Big BBQ on Earth this weekend. Y’all are invited. Bring pie.”

[Oakminster]

We make nice and polite until they go away for our 1 year transition. During that time, we figure out how to kill them. We also take the following steps…

1. All humans aged 12+ will be issued a rifle, trained to use same.

2. Some folks will start moving into caves/other underground shelters.

3. All nuclear submarines will be recalled to port, new crews will be trained and assigned, said crews to be comprised of the optimal female/male ratio for long term survival. About a week prior to the scheduled alien return, all subs will be packed to the rafters with supplies and launched. Their job is to hide and see what happens. If the aliens nuke us from orbit, the subs will be our last best chance at survival as a species, when/if the aliens go away.

4. Otherwise, lock and load. When/if they come back, we have the rest of our lives to learn to beat them.

[panman_1960]

The UN will become the focal point for this endevour, and after much debate and France walks out, we are obliterated for going past the deadline…

[VunderBob]

Tell the aliens to go to hell because that kind of demand violates The Prime Directive.

[PlainJain]

Sorry, not giving up the bacon pony.

[Shodan]

What do we do with all the animals we are farming now? Can we kill and freeze them all?

I assume the aliens know that releasing six billion free-range chickens into the wild isn’t going to do much towards sparing their lives. Can we keep dairy cattle? Sheep for their wool? Set mousetraps? Besides, if they are so damn interested in saving animals, why are they so ready to disintegrate six billion of us?

If it turns out that we’re being invaded by PETA from the Pleiades, then fuck it - they aren’t really going to do anything besides splash fake blood on us and run stupid interstellar ads with half-naked bimbos in them. And their space suits will be made out of pleather - that’s not going to stop a bullet.

We are being invaded from another galaxy, and they are wearing hemp tunics and sensible shoes - now there’s a nightmare.

Regards,
Shodan

[smiling_bandit]

I propose we counter-offer with going Xenotarian instead. Imagine: a whole universe of new tasty creatures to meet. Or meat. Either way, really.

[kayaker]

@Mangetout

Aliens arrive on Earth tomorrow and announce “Your treatment and consumption of your planet’s animal species is unacceptable - you have one of your primitive Earth ‘years’ to stop this mistreatment, or we will intervene and disintegrate all humans. This is not negotiable. Stand by for detailed stipulation of the requirements.”

What about growing meat sans animal? I read recently about cell culture techniques that give the ability to grow muscle cells that can then be prepared/eaten. (I can find cites if necessary)

[Slypork]

While I wouldn’t want to run a-fowl of these aliens, I think we need to fight back and drive a steak through their hearts. No one is going to tell me that I can’t have a filet!

On a side note, maybe the aliens would just leave us alone because we are made of meat.

[kayaker]

@kayaker

What about growing meat sans animal? I read recently about cell culture techniques that give the ability to grow muscle cells that can then be prepared/eaten. (I can find cites if necessary)

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=90235492

[TruCelt]

Where so they stand on milk? Vegetarian is pretty easy - IF we just treat the milk cows better can we go on using them? What about the laying hens?

Actually I woudl love it - but my prediction is that we’d all die - unless we just nuke Texas to save the rest of us. Then the aliens probably nuke us anyway for killing all those cows . . .

[Mangetout]

@heraldgwena

Wait, I thought it was “Man get out” but now I see it could be “Mange tout”. I am so confused…

*Sorry 'bout the hijack

Don’t worry - everyone does that.

[Jackmannii]

It is only because we eat meat that we can stand up to pushy outer space aliens.

You want me to eat tofu, Zorg? Take that! And after I have me one of these, I’ll kick your weenie alien butt into the next galaxy!!

If I can still stand.

[Chimera]

Then we load the railguns with soybeans in metal cans - like trans-sonic shotgun shells.