Hey, Eve, good to hear from you! I know I never got the chance to talk to you too much, except for the whole “date” fiasco, but it’s definitely apparent that you have a HUGE impact on you.
Oh, and if you need a driver to your next interview…<adjusts chauffeur cap>
Also, if you’re so inclined, I can see to it that this Virginia lady has an unfortunate limo-related “accident.” 
[pondering] “Typo, or rather deft insult?” {/pondering]
AWwwwwwwwwww…poop. I hope Eve didn’t see that and take it the wrong way.
<ahem>
It’s definitely apparent that you have a HUGE impact on THIS BOARD.
There, that should work. Uke, thank you very kindly, though I’m beginning to think that you’re following me…first this, then the Zenster thread? Creepy.
(Man, I had “huge” capitalized and everything)
I’m sorry Eve!
That darn Ben Elton. Has he been stealing my jokes again?
I do indeed have a huge impact on me. I’m even my favorite writer.
As for Movieline, all magazines have backstabbing political feuds; just like all offices everywhere. I usually try to stay under the radar, but in this case my NAME was attached to the crap they were printing, so I had to give them what-for. Now I just have to figure out how to balance my checkbook on the head of a pin without my usual Movieline money dribbling in each month.
Oh, Jester, the date wasn’t a fiasco, APB9999 and I have since become, umm, Good Friends and Dancing Partners. He has even cleared away all his Jodie Foster photos to make a shrine for me in the attic.
I’m so glad “all you wonderful people out there in the dark” are happy to see me. It’s not a comeback, I hate that word! It’s return—a return to the millions of fans who have never forgiven me for deserting the Board!
—Norma
Yeah, yeah, now get back to work already. Some newbie over in GQ wants to know whether Richard Barthelmess and Gladys Hulette ever “did it” while they were off-set on Tol’able David. Your expertise is required.
Let’s not get a big head about it or anything, now.
Is this a good time to announce the “Write Eve’s New Profile Biography” contest? What, may I ask, are you providing as the grand prize?
Joe Lieberman better start worrying.
Okay, I’m confused. Is “Eve Golden” your nomme de plume and your real name is “Norma Something” or have you been possessed by Norma Desmond?
I remember you. You used to be big.
“I AM big—it’s the message board that got small.”
Old English saying:
You can take the girl out of MovieLine but ya can’t take the line outa the movie gal!
I might regret that but it does read ok after the first half bottle…
Good to see you around.
Uh, right. (Now where’d I put my babblefish?)
Eve, I’m sure you’re ready for your closeup, but don’t feel you have to break into song from the musical Sunset Boulevard – the music sucked. I’d rather think of you as Carol Burnett’s Norma Desmond Andrew Lloyd Webber’s.