[QUOTE=Zebra]
Would that guy qualify for a Darwin Award?
If he can’t have ‘that kind’ of sex with her, is he out of the gene pool?
[/QUOTE]
We can only hope.
Hal Briston: Send over Brain Bleach Man when he is done with you. I am going to have nightmares about this one.
Sierra -thanks for the info, but I phrased my question badly. If you weren’t beaten up or whatever–how does one ever know that one needs spanking or whatever to get off? Orgasm doesn’t happen and you keep trying new things? I have always wondered about people who need to dressed in wetsuits etc–how does one ever figure that out? 
Does a partner one day just try it out on you (Not you personally) or does one find themselves fantasizing. Sorry to still be so ignorant.
Color me puzzled as to how folks ever figure out that they are turned on by watching old folks chew w/o their teeth or whatever (ok, I just made that one up).
The wasps in the jar, I got from post #13. To each his own.
Eleanor-sticking with vanilla sex for 26 years and going strong. 
This seems appropriate for this thread.
[QUOTE=eleanorigby]
Call me ignorant (thanks!) but how does one ever learn that one has a stick my member in a wasp filled jar and let’s see what happens schtick?
[/quote]
It’s a massochism thing. They get off on pain, and what’s more painful to any guy than that which involves the manly bits? There are literally guys out there who absolutely love to have their partner smack their junk around. (Probably towards the extreme edge of the BDSM spectrum) Still others are fascinated with genital mutilation. (I desperately wish I was making this shit up) Personally, the merest thought of any of this causes my genitals to spontaneously herniate, but … uh … to each their (frightening) own, I guess.
To the issue of feeders/feedees … um … no. Thanks. Really, I’ll pass. My wife’s got some pounds on her but she’s far from even “obese.” Maybe 50 pounds over. Hell, I’m probably about 20-30 pounds over myself, but I’ve developed a bit of a snacking compulsion. (Bored eater) I’m working it out though – it’s not unmanageable. I couldn’t even begin to imagine fettishising that though. It’s much too far beyond my scope to comprehend the attraction. I’m almost tempted to characterize it (feederism) as a disorder of sorts, though the pathology escapes me.
[QUOTE=Mrs O’Malley’s Cow]
Hal Briston: Send over Brain Bleach Man when he is done with you. I am going to have nightmares about this one.
[/QUOTE]
Then me please! 
[QUOTE=eleanorigby]
Sierra -thanks for the info, but I phrased my question badly. If you weren’t beaten up or whatever–how does one ever know that one needs spanking or whatever to get off? Orgasm doesn’t happen and you keep trying new things? I have always wondered about people who need to dressed in wetsuits etc–how does one ever figure that out? 
Does a partner one day just try it out on you (Not you personally) or does one find themselves fantasizing. Sorry to still be so ignorant.<snip>
[/quote]
Another perfectly fair question, though I really only have an anecdote, because I’m certainly not any sort of official expert on this sort of thing - but for myself, it really was just a trial and error sort of thing. I’ve always had what could be called a slightly masochistic bent. I did say I’m not really sure where it comes from, but I have now been giving it some thought since this topic came up, and I suppose I can tie it back to certain circumstances, if not one particular instance.
If someone tries to hurt/injure me, my natural response is to try and bear through the pain and sometimes goad them into hurting me more. Why? To prove I could take it, to prove I was tougher than they were. Somewhere along the line, I began to realise I was getting a kind of… I wouldn’t really call it a “high”, but the right type of pain stimulus would leave my head swimming and leave me with a sort of a rush - like some people would get from a rollercoaster, or I suppose similar to the runner’s high that others have. Though to start out with, it was never a sexual thing.
I’ve also always been fascinated with the various ways that people explore their sexuality. In my late teens, I found my way into the sex-blog community, and found a lot of people talking about a lot of kinks. And I found those who were talking about pain play, about being spanked as part of foreplay, or using hairpulling and other methods of inducing pain as part of the sex act. Most of those on the receiving end described the same sort of “rush” that I was already familiar with, explaining how it enhanced and was enhanced by making it a sexual act. A little light went on in my brain - “I like pain. Maybe I’d like sex pain if it’s as good as they say it is…” And it went from there.
It took a while to figure out the stuff I like. Spanking was good from the get-go, and biting and hairpulling were also pretty neat. I tried some bondage, and while I like being restrained to some degree, the full bondage that some people enjoy just sends me into a panic and removes any sort of pleasure I was getting in the first place. I don’t think I could handle being gagged at all, though blindfolding is not something I’d say ‘no’ to. It’s all about experimentation, figuring out what your personal boundaries are, and how far you’re prepared to push them.
I can’t stress enough, if you(being anyone) wants to know more about these sort of things, how people get into them and what they get out of them, there’s a lot of very good sex blogs out there. My personal favourite is Eros Blog (no linky, google fun!). Bacchus, the webmaster, keeps a roster of kink and sex-positive blogs that have a lot of good information in them, and his own archives are an often eye-opening read. He does link to porn, but he’s got a very hardline stance about not linking to popup-filled spampr0n sites, and I’ve found a lot of very good information from his linked affiliates.
Be proud of your vanilla roots, sister. How else would we kinksters know we’re doing something naughty if we didn’t have a yardstick to measure it against? 
[QUOTE=Amp]
Man, I feel… I feel… What is the opposite of aroused?
[/QUOTE]
How about the phrase they used in *Not Another Teen Movie: * “That makes me sad in pants.”
You are so sweet–thanks! Sierra. I take from this that fetishes are more learned than inherent. It seems one needs to have some sort of physiological urge, but it must be nurtured. So, there might well be any number of people out there who could have some sort of fetish and just not have explored/exploited it. That is fascinating. Since I cannot imagine wanting physical pain, I’ll leave you to it. 
Hal -bwah (I don’t dare type LOL here!)
While i’m not into feeders or feedees, I just see this thread as an excuse to point and laugh at people who have a different sexual bent than all the ‘perfectly normal’ vanillas of the world.
Yes, it’s unhealthy, and like I said I don’t agree with it, but it seems strange that the op just posts two links and basically says “HEY LOOK AT THESE FREAKS!! HAHAHAHA”
And that leads to the ol’ stereotypes of “if you like weird stuff you must have been abused” bullsh*t being tossed about and pretty soon it just turns into a bashing thread, and how unless you have missionary style good Christian sex there must be something wrong with you that needs to be investigated.
Yeah, feeders are weird. What’s the point of the thread? Is that it? What’s it to you?
[QUOTE=tiny ham]
While i’m not into feeders or feedees, I just see this thread as an excuse to point and laugh at people who have a different sexual bent than all the ‘perfectly normal’ vanillas of the world.
Yes, it’s unhealthy, and like I said I don’t agree with it, but it seems strange that the op just posts two links and basically says “HEY LOOK AT THESE FREAKS!! HAHAHAHA”
And that leads to the ol’ stereotypes of “if you like weird stuff you must have been abused” bullsh*t being tossed about and pretty soon it just turns into a bashing thread, and how unless you have missionary style good Christian sex there must be something wrong with you that needs to be investigated.
Yeah, feeders are weird. What’s the point of the thread? Is that it? What’s it to you?
[/QUOTE]
Point? In a forum specifically titled MPSIMS?
Hmmm… pointlessnessiousity I suppose.
Regardless of the OP’s “motive” behind posting this thread, I quite like that the discussion has turned into something a bit more serious with some posters trying to gain a better understanding of something they may not be all that interested in personally.
[QUOTE=tiny ham]
Yeah, feeders are weird. What’s the point of the thread? Is that it? What’s it to you?
[/QUOTE]
It took 15 minutes to find this.
What’s the point? That’s the beauty of it…
[QUOTE=tiny ham]
While i’m not into feeders or feedees, I just see this thread as an excuse to point and laugh at people who have a different sexual bent than all the ‘perfectly normal’ vanillas of the world.
Yes, it’s unhealthy, and like I said I don’t agree with it, but it seems strange that the op just posts two links and basically says “HEY LOOK AT THESE FREAKS!! HAHAHAHA”
And that leads to the ol’ stereotypes of “if you like weird stuff you must have been abused” bullsh*t being tossed about and pretty soon it just turns into a bashing thread, and how unless you have missionary style good Christian sex there must be something wrong with you that needs to be investigated.
Yeah, feeders are weird. What’s the point of the thread? Is that it? What’s it to you?
[/QUOTE]
I ain’t laughing at it. This sort of thing saddens me because it makes a victim out of a person. When I read the second part of the OP I was almost in tears. And, yeah I was dead serious about the nightmare things. It is very scary what goes on in this world. Sometimes, I wish I could bleach my brain.
[QUOTE=tiny ham]
Yes, it’s unhealthy, and like I said I don’t agree with it, but it seems strange that the op just posts two links and basically says “HEY LOOK AT THESE FREAKS!! HAHAHAHA”
[/QUOTE]
I’ve heard of the feeder fetish before. I do think it’s bizarre and freakish. I understand that other people may look at my sexual desires and practices and say “Hey! Look at that freak!”. As long as they don’t try to make anything illegal, I don’t care.
This negates everything else in your post.
If at all possible, could we please stop mentioning the wasps? I mean like forever.
pervscan??
[QUOTE=tiny ham]
While i’m not into feeders or feedees, I just see this thread as an excuse to point and laugh at people who have a different sexual bent than all the ‘perfectly normal’ vanillas of the world.
Yes, it’s unhealthy, and like I said I don’t agree with it, but it seems strange that the op just posts two links and basically says “HEY LOOK AT THESE FREAKS!! HAHAHAHA”
[/quote]
I don’t see anything like that in this thread. The overall tone seems to be more horrified than anything else. There’s some black humor, but I don’t see any posts here that are mocking the people involved. Can you point some out, in case I’ve overlooked them?
One person has posted a common misunderstanding about why some people get into BDSM, and has already been corrected. Let’s calm down a little bit, here.
Now, my own sex life is pretty vanilla, but philosophically, I’m a big believer in “safe, sane, and consensual.” Anything anyone wants to do within those parameters is okay with me. But in this particular instance, I think there are some very valid question to be raised about those first two terms. I’m not going on an anti-fat kick, here, and I’m not saying that people who are obese don’t deserve love. But the relationships being described here are patently unhealthy. Deliberatly trying to be as obese as possible, or trying to make someone else as obese as possible, is not safe. Doing it for a sexual thrill stikes me as pretty borderline as far as “sane” goes. And if it’s not sane, there’s a question over wether or not it can be considered consensual, as one party might not be mentally capable of giving consent. There aren’t a lot of people out there who have more of an “anything goes” attitude towards sex than me, but there are still limits. And if your sexual fetish involves killing your partner (which this fetish, when taken to the extremes listed in the OP certainly does) then you’ve gone way too far, and need to start seeking professional help.
That said, I don’t think this should be made illegal, or anything. I don’t even know how you could craft a law that would do so. But it is a very unhealthy lifestyle, and ought to be discouraged where possible.
[QUOTE=eleanorigby]
Eleanor-sticking with vanilla sex for 26 years and going strong. 
[/QUOTE]
Vanilla, you say?. ( not work safe ) 26 years is a very long time to be so brand-loyal.
Are we debating what is and is not mentally unhealthy? Is physical abuse/manipulation/control masked as “feeder/feedee” abuse, co-dependancy or equally shared sex-play? From what folks are writing, it sounds like these roles have departed the concept of " as long as both people consent and nobody is injured, go for it" rule. Are both partners morbidly obese? It sounds like no. I am not sure that we’re judging someone’s sexual orientation here, because there are so many other things happening with two adults who are engaged in this kind of relationship besides sexual gratification.
I’m with Miller here. At what point is it an illegal activity? When you have gorged a woman to the point of 500 - 600 pounds and she is incapable of caring for any of her own personal needs, are you responsible? Have you crossed a moral or legal line? What if she decides that she is 600 pounds because of you and now wants to be rid of you and try to regain her life back and shed down some weight. Will you be accepting of that change and if not, then what? Entrapment? Worse?
To me this isn’t a slippery slope because some man is fetishistic about pressing his pee-pee against a woman’s folds of skin. It’s a slippery slope because of the extreme case of surrender of personal control. Men and women like rubbing. It’s the emotional and moral manipulation that preceeds the physical that seems- to me - to be most objectionable.
Cartooniverse
Oh, for god’s sake–sometimes I want to just scream at stuff like this.
It is not politically incorrect to discuss issues like this. Where has anyone mocked these people? I freely admit that I do not understand them at all. Where in that do you find intolerance? :rolleyes:
I asked a question based on my knowledge base of people who like pain mixed with sex. Admittedly, my knowledge base is not large here–I wasn’t corrected so much as the issue was eloborated on, and very well too.
People here like to say, “anything goes between adults” and to a great extent that is true. But as has been said, there are limits. I like the safe, sane and consensual approach.
Let’s say a person loves the feel of cold, clammy skin while they’re having sex. This person’s partner is diabetic–would it be OK if this person encouraged the partner to take a little too much insulin so that a hypoglycemic reaction occurs, (which results in cool, clammy skin often), just so his rocks can get off?
No-most people would say NO to that. (I don’t know anyone who would do that, just trying to make a point). So, how is it ok to overfeed a partner etc?
To me, this is about so much more than sex.
I also need the brain bleach. Pass it along.
[QUOTE=DocCathode]
This negates everything else in your post.
[/QUOTE]
Only if you think weird is negative. I’m saying there’s nothing wrong with being off the path of what 90% of people consider “normal sex”. I disagree with Feeders because it there’s no real way to make it safe. BDSM and even things like FIRE fetishes can be made safe, but I don’t know that it’s worth hoisting them up as being “horrifying” as someone said.