First step is … you sitting down? They… look at it.
That’s as far as I got with the moles that I was SURE were skin cancer. Dermatologist looked me over and said “That crusty spot? That’s what we call a crusty spot. And that one? That’s just sun… and age. It’s getting bigger because you’re getting older.”
I was so glad to hear that… because I’ve had decades of my mom saying “Well, you’ll have skin cancer for sure. Remember that one time you and your dad went skiing and you got soooo sunburned?”
Every time she has a skin cancer scare, every time I play soccer, every single time we go anywhere outside: “Remember that one time you and your father went skiing?”
So I thought she’d be relieved. I even said “The doc said I don’t even have to worry. Now you can stop scaring me and telling me about that time Dad and I went skiing. I don’t know why you have to remind me, I was there, you know.”
To no avail. Mom, not two minutes later: “Well, you’d better keep an eye on that, you’ll probably end up with skin cancer, you know. You do remember that one time you and your Dad went skiing? Ohhh, you got soooo sunburned…”
Arghh what is the source of these damn fruit flies? Or maybe drain flies, I really can’t tell the difference. But I have scoured the kitchen and dining room for escaped produce or open juice, and bleached and snaked every drain. But every night before bed, the glow of my laptop attracts at least one tiny little fucking fly.
Dear Lady in the car at the red light this morning,
I was unaware that using your phone means you to take your foot off the brake pedal. I watch3rd from the sidewalk as the near slow motion horror played out as your car first drifted to the line, then over the pedestrian crosswalk, then into the bike lane (the cyclists loved that!), then almost into the driving lane in front of that bus before you looked up. I almost went up and slapped your window to get you to pay attention before disaster struck, but the thing is at one point you did look up before you drifted into the bike lane and applied the brakes…the went back to your phone.
Must every neighborhood have one of those neighbors who feel obligated to report just about every perceived infraction other’s kids are making? And must they all be enormous assholes about it? I mean, yeah,yell at my kid if you must because he does stupid shit sometimes, but really, taking pictures of my child and some other kid throwing acorns at each other, then flagging down the bus driver, screaming at him for a while, then making him call the school right then and there because the kids were tossing acorns at each other seems a bit extreme.
And as the icing on the cake, saying “Oh, well, it was mostly the black kids doing it, as usual. I just don’t know what’s happening to this neighborhood,” makes you a bit of an ignorant shit and a lot of an asshole. My son is part Indian. His friend, who lives two doors down, is African American. The two of them, though brown, look nothing alike. Saying the equivalent of, “It was the black kids again - there goes the neighborhood!” is an incredibly shitty thing to do, particularly in front of a bus full of kids. And a great, big fuck you, lady, for giving my kid his first taste of racism up close and personal.
In today’s hyper-paranoid environment, random stranger taking pictures of kids playing is just begging to be called in as a potential pedophile.
Not saying you should do that, but you might get some satisfaction suggesting that someone might do that if they were to see asshole neighbor doing such a thing.
When you come to surrender your (now determined to be) super gentle, super easy going dog to the shelter, don’t tell us your reason is because the dog can’t be trusted around children. Tell us your children can’t be trusted around the dog because you couldn’t be bothered to teach your children to respect the dog. Our very thorough behavior evaluation tells us she did not growl at the kids “for no reason”. If that’s the kind of owner you are, we’re glad you brought her to us. We’re working with her and will find a good home for her.
Had to turn the furnace on today. Came home from dialysis and it was a whole 62F in here.
It’s too early!
It doesn’t help that the furnace is from 1947 - it’s a real workhorse, but expensive to run.
My daughter has been in California since last Friday, wont be back for another 10 days. It’s been weird around here. Pre-emptive empty nest syndrome going on; however, I’m finding myself making sure I pick up after myself, thinking “If she knew I left my dirty clothes in the bathroom, she’d bitch at me”. How pathetic is that? Plus I’m feeling I need to accomplish something while she is gone - paint a room, finish the breezeway floor, deep clean - although I know it’s not necessary. I’m at odds and ends.
I hit my 65th Birthday next April. And the new (U.S. Government) fiscal year started 1 October. These two things apparently combined to make me a candidate for telephone calls about Medicare enrollment.
A lot of calls. At least 12 in the last four days. All know my name and want to tell me about their wonderful services.
I have one of those really simple email addresses, something like Mary@gmail though that’s not it.
I was sorta chuffed to get it, LOOK! I was one of the first accounts! type things, but now I curse it. Because there are evidently a slew of Mary+some added number or something@gmail who cannot accurately type their email addresses into forms.
Every damn day I get receipts and ‘confirm your subscription’ notices for all sorts of places I have never been and have no interest in.
Currently most annoying is some Mary-whatever has gotten me onto an email prayer list. Every day I get several emails beseeching me to pray for some body’s daughter or job or ailing car(!) or whatever. The thing is, I’m an atheist, so I have no one to pray to anyway!
Besides not giving a damn about a slew of random people. I mean, I vaguely hope they get well or whatever their problem is gets taken care of, but I have people I actually know with problems that already absorb all my give-a-damns and time and money.
Anyway, I replied to the sender of the first dozen or so messages, saying I don’t know them and take me off their list.
The emails kept coming.
A week ago I started 'reply all’ing to each message with a similar ‘unsubscribe me’ type message. (And there are, no exaggeration, over 100 CCed names on the header.) And still the messages roll in.
How can I stop this???
If not stop it, how can I strike back? Is there a hate mail list I can sign the organizer up for?? Maybe a Satanist newsletter?
Change your phone number. I am kidding, I know that is lame! Can you not get on a do not call list? I have never gotten alot of telemarketing calls. I did get robo-calls during the election cycle last year. I, one by one blocked the numbers as they came in. Not sure how well it worked. I was still getting calls the weekend before the election. It is so aggravating!!
“Hi, because you’ve sent me all those prayer requests, I signed you up for the Church Of The Pointy-Eared Demon prayer chain. Now you have hundreds of Satanists, Druids and Vulcans praying for you!”
But seriously, I would hate sifting through all those emails. Man, what a pain…
