Sometimes just a little offhand comment can make your day. This evening I was being chatted up in an IM by a tranny chaser who said he loved me for my mind (really knows how to sweet talk a girl). I loved the sweet talk, but then I finally had to break it to him.
J > I’ve been on a path of discovering how to be myself, and accept myself
TC > thats beautiful
J > That includes owning my sexual orientation
J > which is lesbian.
TC > oh no! all the smart ones turn out to be lesbian
TC> im disappointed
I feel like it’s the nicest compliment I’ve had all week!
It’s the cross-gender equivalent of the line that is guaranteed to warm the cockles of my heart: “Why are all the nicest/wittiest/most intelligent/sensitive etc. guys married?”
God damn it, man, big stripey gender-neutral thing, whatever. Do you have to be so bloody honest? Some of us have built up layers of protection woven around thousands of carefully rehearsed excuses, and then you come in here casual as you like and do that. Shame on you, zir!
Well, we’re all on a cline, apparently, so just you be careful which way you tip it! And I would wager that Mr N is the best of the bunch, and it was well worth the wait.
Ah, yes! That’s what I love about Mensa – straight men who think intelligence is sexy!!! A-h-h-h! Kind of like the SDMB, but with people standing in front of you and real, as opposed to virtual hugs and chocolate.
I’ve got to admit, I went through a long phase when every guy who looked halfway interesting was spoken for. As for the ones who weren’t, we-ell, I could see why!
“Tranny chaser” is a gay guy who is attracted to MTF transgendered individuals. Since female-identified transwomen tend to be either heterosexual (attracted to straight men) or lesbian (attracted to queer women), most of us are not interested in dating gay guys. Those who are in play with a wider variety of sexual orientations may well like dating them, I guess. I know one Tgirl who is omnivorous in that respect. I think what most of us reject about the attention is it frames us as male when we don’t want to be male. I also get straight women who look upon me as a man and get attracted to me on that basis, but it couldn’t work out that way because I don’t want to be cast in a male role. Many transgendered MTFs can only find gainful employment as sex workers because they’re excluded from other jobs, and a lot of gay male-on-MTF hookups happen that way, on a commercial rather than romantic basis.
In all fairness, most of the gay guys who have come on to me have been perfect gentlemen about it. I appreciate that, fellows. While I admit as an attention whore I enjoy the compliments, I don’t lead them on but always tell them where I stand right away. I enjoy the company of gay guys as friends. I’m not looking to date anyone now, anyway.
I hope I haven’t offended or stereotyped anyone here, I believe in sorting my way through a complex jungle of sexual orientations with respect for all.
What tickled me about the whole thing is the view that lesbians tend to be of higher intelligence!
Much obliged, Johanna. The :dubious: was because “tranny chaser” struck me as kinda derogatory, and while I’ve no axe to grind on behalf of those who’re interested in transwomen to the exclusion of biowomen, I thought it classless. However, if it’s a generally accepted term among those who have an interest, then fine.
I’m certainly not going to get my BVDs contorted over the proper expression to use of a man who self-identifies as homosexual but wants to have sex with someone who is anatomically female, but can only get his head around it if the object of desire was born male. And as far as this goes:
I can understand that - and think that what the tranny-chaser ought to be looking for is a pre-op FTM if he wants boobage, or any kind of FTM if he’s not particular.
However:
Regretfully I’m going to have to dock you five IQ points for this elementary logical fallacy. TC opines that “all the smart ones turn out to be lesbian”. You can’t get from “if A then B” to “if B then A”; tho’ intelligent ones are invariably lesbian, this doesn’t preclude the existence of a vast pool of dumbfuck lesbians dragging the average right back down. (The vast pool needn’t necessarily exist, of course; it’s only that the given implication doesn’t rule it out.)
Yeah, I’m afraid it is. I’m sorry. If there were a nice way to say it, I would have used that, but no PC term for it has been invented yet. I’ve got nothing against the guys personally, like I said they’ve been gentlemen about it.
Also, the anatomical status of transwomen might be either male or female, and basically you just don’t know unless she chooses to reveal it. As Dil said in The Crying Game, “A girl needs to have her secrets.”
::shrug:: I don’t know that I’d necessarily be uninterested in finding out - being no less prone to prurient curiosity than the average Doper - but you can take it that I’d be quite disinterested. (One reason for being a mild grammar Nazi is the existence of such useful shades of meaning.)
I’ve personally known only two transwomen in my life, neither of whom would do a particularly good job of passing for biofemale. Of course, there’s a logical hole in my assertion right there…
I feel like it’s the nicest compliment I’ve had all week!
