I saw the statement below on another bbs and it caught my attention. Please read it and answer my questions, which are primarily directed to women, after it.
Thanks
“you guys are sick! if all you want is sex, do all of us women out here a favor- get a hooker!! we dont want you to bother coming up to us at bars or clubs, hitting on us with lame lines. (appologies to those of you who are gentlemen and dont fill thir minds with thoughts of bagging “birds” ) if you just want women for sex, and not their emotions and personalities, then i might suggest a real doll . . . .”
So I have a couple questions:
How many heterosexual* women on this bbs want men to stop talking to them or making any effort to meet them in bars or clubs?
How many heterosexual* women here want men to give up trying to have sex with them and start paying hookers instead?
*Persons who have the preference and desire to have sex with the opposite sex.
I copied the definition below from my Merriam-Webster dictionary:
1: het•ero•sex•u•al 'he-te-ro-"sek-sh(e-)wel, -"sek-shel\ adjective [ISV] (1892)
1 a : of, relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward the opposite sex
b : of, relating to, or involving sexual intercourse between individuals of opposite sex
2: of or relating to different sexes
het•ero•sex•u•al•i•ty -'sek-she-"wa-le-te\ noun
het•ero•sex•u•al•ly -"sek-sh(e-)we-le, -"sek-she-le\ adverb
I think many men still make the mistaken assumption that a woman in a bar (especially if she’s alone) is “loose” and is looking for a one-night stand. I rarely go to bars alone,but if I do, I certainly want someone to talk to. Good conversation MAY lead to something more - giving phone #, setting up a date; no one-night stands for me
(well, if it was Matt Damon, that would be another matter altogether).
I like gentlemanly attention–a whistle on the street, a polite bar approach, a visual “check-out.” What I don’t like is when men tell me exactly what they would like to do with, or to, certain portions of my anatomy. But I am a secure enough feminist to take a well-meant whistle as the compliment it is. I think most men are still gentlemen and are horrified at the actions of their less-polite brothers.
If you’re cool, intelligent, and not too drunk, I can stand if you hit on me in a bar. Mind you, I still won’t go home with you.
If you’re a loser, stay away, or prepare to be publicly humiliated. I don’t deal well with cheesy come-ons or slobbery-drunk frat boys who just want to get laid.
if you are going out for a good time i cant belive you are worried about some sods hitting on you. just tell em you are married, have 10 kids or would rather watch a movie by the famed film maker ed wood starring their mother or something like that…
if you want someone to hit on you (gentlemen)id say you have no hope at all. dont expect meeting them like this! sure a 1/1.000.000 chance but i am not betting.
Allow me to draw attention to the fact that the original quote says “If all you want is sex…” implying that it is only the one-night stand type of being hit on that she is discouraging.
In that light, DrSmooth’s two questions are not relevant. And I happen to know that the woman who posted the original quote is not unapproachable for a meaningful relationship. She is my girlfriend.
P.S. DrSmooth, don’t let on about that last bit over at anandtech, we’re having fun with the way it is.
I love getting hit on! Isn’t that the whole POINT of going to a bar on Saturday night? I may not go home with you but we can dance and shoot the *hit till the wee hours.
Maybe what she was bitching about was the “gotta get some” attitude that some (not all) men have. Like the ONLY thing they want is to get in to your pants. Most of them, if they did, would last about 5 minutes so it really isn’t worth it. But there are those men who love women, are looking for sex and also happen to be verrrry good at it. It’s a one night or see you when I can kind of a thing and I like that. It isn’t just men who want a hassle free relationship. Not that I go jumping around to strange beds or anything but two honest adults can agree on having a ‘sex only’ relationship. As long as everyone knows the score up front, no one gets hurt.
What I don’t like is guys who try to act like they want to get involved when they don’t (I don’t either so if this is to get into my panties it really back-fires) or guys who want you to get them off and you get nothing in return. Those guys should just go beat off or get a doll or something.
What I do like is a man who genuinely (sp?) cares about women, likes to touch and be touched (foreplay, ya know?) and is just as concerned with my orgasm as his own. That’s sexy to me.