I hate Allston. Boston-West? No. Boston-Crap. Burn it, bomb it, blow it up; whatever, I don’t care. It is the magnet of all things dirty and skeevey. I know this having lived four weeks of my life there, before packing up and never looking back. But now, tonight, I must return. My favorite band is playing in a club there, and I never miss them (Last time they came through Cambridge. Why o’ why couldn’t it be Cambridge again?)
I looked up the club on GoogleMaps and surprise the place is farting distance from my old apartment. Great, what a flood of memories. I will get to say hello to all the same dirty poor college kids and scary illegal immigrants that wander the streets at every hour like zombies of stupid. Want to know what I learned in the weeks of living there? Here is the secret of how to walk through Allston: Find the most BEAUTIFUL girl on the streets, the one walking in whatever direction you need to go (preferably big boobies, short skirt, and young). Find her, and then you walk behind her until you get to whatever your destination is. This will may take more than one girl of course, but at least the glares of the gang of illegals sitting on the hot steps of unpainted houses will be averted away from the timid white kid and be focused on the hot piece of ass walking towards them. I can just hear the “Hey Mommies!” already.
And my God what scummy kids there; whole streets of frats, and too-artsy-for-you types. Trash and drinking in the streets, with girls doing two walks-of-shames in the same night. Just try to park your car on the streets without dome drunken iddiot giving you a neat-o new racing stripe down the side with their bumper. Oh, and all the landlords there are *very * fair to their tenants, really, trust me.
I’m done with this part of Boston, forever. After tonight, nuke it from orbit. I don’t care. It’s a waste of space in my Goddam city.
Truth part: Allston is actually a really nice and accessible community. And a haven for many in Boston. It’s got a really good public transportation system and a very eclectic collection of students. It’s really not a bad place at all, but I had one very terrible experience there so I now forever associate that neighborhood with it.
IMHO part: Any places you absolutely hate just for your own reasons?
PS part: And don’t get me started on the Netherlands!
Hey, it’s my back yard. But yeah, I have a few bad associations with it too. A friend used to live there, and when I went to get him, I feel like I needed a shower afterwards.
Oh, but to add my opinion – Roslindale. While I understand that some very nice people live there, to me it smacks of the ignorant and inbred. I always hear banjo music when I pass through there.
The nexus of depressing - Gary, IN. I’d also include all of the equally depressing “satellite” towns such as Hammond, East Chicago, Calumet City and South Holland. The very thought of driving through these towns make me want to slit my wrists.
Allston is Rock city? I thought I lived in Rock City! (or “The Roc”) . But I guess when you are from a small town, you have to share your nickname with others. I hate my town sometimes. But I love it, too. Just because.
I’m from Brighton (often confused/conflated with Allston). Nearly everyone I meet has lived in either Allston or Brighton at some point in his/her life. It’s a rite of passage around these parts. It’s a pretty cool place to live if you enjoy music and/or drinking. Nobody wants to buy a house and raise a family in Allston, but it’s a great place to spend your college years.
I used to live in Brighton and loved it. I was way down Comm. Avenue, close to the intersection with Chestnut Hill, so there weren’t a huge amount of students. I could always get a seat on the train going into town but coming out was a bitch. That was the only thing I didn’t like about the place.
If you walk from St. Elizabeths towards Comm Ave, it would be roughly across the street once you reach the intersection of Comm Ave except up the hill to to the right.