Except civil service exams typically involve scenarios which present a false dichotomy. You have to pick the best answer of those offered but that doesn’t mean in actuality that is the best answer in real life. Some of those exams are maddenly stupid.
The worst interview I ever had was for an attorney with a small nonprofit that helped burn survivors. He needed help with copy on his website and other development things.
He started treating me like his secretary from the minute I walked through the door, including having me answer the phone for him. God, he would not stop talking. He barely asked me anything about myself, he just rambled and rambled about how great he was at everything. This went on for six hours.
Then he bought me lunch and we ate with his other employees, who looked absolutely miserable. At one point one of his employees said, “I’ve had a migraine for three days,” and the boss replied, “Tell her the truth. I’ll give you migraines!”
But the kicker was when he started listing all the celebrities he expected me to find to endorse his podunk nonprofit. “I really want to get Halle Berry. Wouldn’t that be great? Do you know why?”
“No,” I said, “Why?”
“Because she’s fucking hot, am I right?”
I got an email a few days later from his daughter offering me the position, and I declined. She was like, “Would you mind elaborating on why you won’t take the position? This has kind of been a trend. I know my Dad can be difficult to work with but he’s a good guy, really, it just doesn’t always show…”
Oh man. I dodged one hell of a bullet that day.
Not a prison guard, and you’re right that someone like that should have some way of summoning assistance, but things fail. Stuff breaks. Radios don’t work. When they don’t, then what do you do?
My answer is #1. Get the rest of your flock together, back and secure, and get ‘the cavalry’ on the scene, ASAP. LOL at a minimum security prisoner thinking they’re improving their lot by running. Also, let the rest of the prisoners know they’re headed right back to their cells, and aren’t going to get anymore of their outing for that day, and it’s Mr. Runner’s fault. Maybe then, they’ll rat out the next attempt before it starts?
And yet they do. I remember one who did in NYC - which brings up another issue with civil service tests for jobs that cover a large area (like a state agency) . The correct answer is not what you would actually do in the area where you work - it’s the one that would be closest to being correct for the whole state.
Yep, because criminals aren’t very bright, as a rule. Else they wouldn’t be criminals, especially caught criminals. Often cunning—see, the need for training materials on avoiding inmate manipulation—but not especially bright, and often really lacking impulse control and any future-time orientation.
It’s still funny. Enjoy getting caught, and getting transferred, dummy.
The dumbest thing I ever said during a job interview, was when I was asked my “greatest weakness.” I replied, “I’m an introvert.”
Now usually I can spin this as an opportunity to work on my people skills, but in this case, I was interviewing for the position of Development Director, which is primarily about forging relationships and asking people for money.
I did not get the job. And thank Og for that. I’m way too introverted for such a role.
I answered that with, “I hope the next company I work for will be one I want to work for until I retire.” I think it was a big factor when I got my last job. I referred to my resume which shows I do not jump around from company to company. But I think the answer could work if you have done that, you could say you are tired of that
About a year and a half ago, I was interviewing for a teaching job and was given a question that I’ve been given numerous times before without having fumbled it. For some reason, the way the question was phrased made my mind freeze and I went in a different direction with the response. I then stopped myself and then had to ask what the question was again. It was pretty embarrassing. I’d done everything else right up to that point in the interview, including a short presentation. I fumbled the question and because my mind began telling myself “Dude, come on, think of the fucking answer!” I continued to bobble it in my brain. I’d stayed up late the night before preparing a presentation for how I would teach certain types of subjects or topics and in retrospect, conclude that I tried so hard to impress with my presentation that, due to mental fatigue, I bombed a basic question that, if failed, is pretty much a disqualifier.
Now we need a thread on worst candidate interview stories from the perspective of the interviewer.
One of the first police departments I interviewed with a couple decades ago asked me what I would do if I needed a ride home after work, and while riding home with a coworker who was the only one who offered me a ride, I notice the remains of a marijuana cigarette in his ash tray.
I was too honest when I said that I wouldn’t do anything. When pressed about it, I just doubled down and said that it wasn’t a big deal… if he’s getting high at work, then the drug tests or his performance is going to show that, and I’m not going do anything personally… nobody knows that I saw the roach… I am not culpable in that situation…
Obviously, I didn’t get that job. Ah, to be young and naïve…
I am pretty sure I said the single dumbest thing any one has ever said in a job interview.
With my shiny new graduate degree in public policy, that was SUPPOSED to mean I was smart about government 'n stuff, I interviewed for a position in Washington DC with an association of state governors.
Anyway, the interview went okay, or at least if it didn’t I was mercifully oblivious to any faux pas I may have made.
But of course, to prepare for the interview I had done a lot of quick what-are-some-state-centered-current-events so that I could show at least a passing familiarity with them if necessary.
One thing I’d learned was that N. Carolina was embroiled in some sort of federal-state issue. So, I just had to show off my knowledge on the way out the door. Instead of leaving quietly, I continued to babble as my interviewer walked me to the door. And what did I say? I said,
“Yes, that reminds me of that interesting conflict that is going on in North Carolina right now, with respect to blah-blah-blah. Oh wait, I can’t remember now - is it North or South Carolina? I’m not sure. I get them mixed up all the time! Ah well, North Carolina, South Carolina, who can tell the difference, eh?”
At that point I realized what I’d done. But my tongue, totally unconnected to my brain, apparently, wagged on. “Oh my god, what have I just said? Well, there’s no way an association of states is going to want somebody who says something like THAT. I’m for sure not getting this job. Um, bye-bye, I’m leaving now.”
And off I slunk.
You’ll all be stunned to know that I never heard a word back from the association.
I remember a job interview from my college years. I was looking for a summer job, ideally as lighting director of a small theatrical production.
On our spring break, we went to regional theatre conventions that doubled as job fairs for summer theatrical productions - a lot of them in the historical outdoor drama genre.
I went to interview with a man that was directing one of these, the history of a small town in the NC mountains. It was a really short interview.
The guy basically looked at me at said “you’re hired”. I think I might have handed him my resume and I think he might have glanced at it, but it probably could’ve been written in Finnish and he wouldn’t have noticed.
OK. I needed a job and the 4 evening a week work schedule once we got past rehearsal was appealing, as was the mountain location.
Then I met the sound engineer, another attractive dark-haired woman. And the stage manager, another pretty brunette. Once I got to the small town, I met several of the actresses he had hired, all attractive dark-haired women and one strawberry blonde. We were like “what happened?” and she laughed and said “when I auditioned he kept telling me he envisioned a brunette for the role and I told him I’d buy a wig.”
Turns out the director that hired us hooked up with a local woman and caused a huge scandal before they ran him out of town, so he never had time to harass us. But I’m sure that’s what he’d planned.
“Well, we find you annoying, but we’d be interested in anyone who could manage to live with you.”
Not even close.
We have an honorary niece, the now-adult child of long-time friends our age. Quite a few years ago her then new-ish husband interviewed for a job as a 911 dispatcher with the local big city police department. Which included a polygraph session. Towards the end the interrogator asked if there was anything else the interviewee wanted to talk about. While the machine was still turned on.
So he proceeds out of the blue to tell the nice man about his extensive child porn collection on his computer at home.
You’ll all be stunned to know that he did hear back from the organization. That very day in fact.
They sent 2 officers to his house to arrest him and impound his computer. He ended up spending several years as a live-in guest of the state. And becoming divorced along the way.
About the only thing they didn’t charge him with was criminal stupidity. Because that’s not illegal.
No, that part of the scenario was pretty realistic. We had crappy equipment and radios broke down quite often. And even when they worked they had a fairly short range. So it wasn’t at all unusual for somebody supervising a crew of prisoners to be out of communications.
The correct answer, as most people figured out, was #1. A good rule of thumb in any situation involving an escaped prisoner is to not turn it into a situation involving multiple escaped prisoners. You’d think that would be obvious but I saw some astonishing displays of stupidity in my career.
Brain tumor? I’m honestly baffled as to why else someone would do this. I do know of one case where a man’s brain tumor triggered an interest in child porn, but he made attempts to hide it, so he was sentenced to prison anyway.
I LOL’ed.
I had a funny one, and was saved from an embarrassing answer…
Two interviewers, and me. One asked, “How much experience do you have with the XYZ Database?”
I was bracing myself to say, “None; I’ve never even heard of it,” when the other interviewer bust in and said, “Oh, come on, we’re the only ones in town who use it. Nobody has experience with it.” Which was quite true, and saved my bacon!
Not quite. A good interviewer usually won’t ask you something stupid like, “Can you tell me your weakest point?” And I won’t say that interviewees can’t bullshit their way through an interview, but most people can’t. A decent interviewer is going to ask follow up questions and if someone bullshitted on the first answer then odds aren’t good that they’ll be able to bullshit on the followup question. Unless the interviewer doesn’t know anything about the subject.
That explains why my preferred solution wasn’t #5.
Have the most trustworthy prisoner drive the remaining prisoners back to the prison while I go in to the woods and call out to the escapee, pointing out the foolishness of his actions.
Yes, please!