So, I drove down from Bath, ME to Portland to register to get a new Social Security Card. That was easy as pie.
However, upon pulling my car away from the curb I somehow managed to fuck up the air intake thingee so my right front tire went flat.
Fine. I can handle this. Hell, I’ve chanhged flat tires at 3:30 in the morning on 95 in the middle of a sleet/snowstorm.
I pulled into a nearby parking lot, pulled into a space and went to work.
I had managed to get the flat tire off and was just placing the spare on the rim when my jack collapsed. Not all the way, just enough to get wedged underneath the car. No way that I was going to be able to just yank the sucker free either, I was going to need another jack.
No problem, because a car had just pulled into the space next to me.
I went over to the drivers side and asked the guy VERY politely if I could borrow his jack.
“Why,” said he in a snarlish/accusatory tone.
“Because I have a flat tire and—”
“Why don’t you use your own,” he interrupted."
“Because my jack collapsed and now it’s wedged under the car and I can’t get it out without another jack.”
“Well, I have a jack but you can’t use it. You do know that this is a private parking lot and that you are parked illegally? In fact, if you don’t move your car immediately I’m going to call the police.” he said.
“Fine, whatever,” I said, as I walked down the street to a gas station, where I was able to borrow a jack.
By the time I got back to my car, the police were there, but after looking at my license and registration and hearing my story they basically told the guy to cool it and let me change my tire, but for me to try and hurry up. Then they went on their merry way on down to Dunkin’ Donuts, leaving me under the watchful eye of "cocknostril who proceedede to sit in his car and watch me go thru the whole proceedure of rescuing my jack and putting the spare on etc.
When I was finished he said,“Boy, looks like you had a lot of fun,” with a sneer on his face.
That did it.
I very calmly put all of the various tools and accoutrements away, walked over to his window, leaned in and put my very dirty hands all over his nice light blue shirt, looked deeply into his eyes and said in a calm, clear, steady voice, “FUCK YOU.”
Then I got in my car, drove to the gas station, returned the jack and went back about my business.
