Dude, don’t fuck with the Ewoks. They were like little spear weilding Ron Jeremys. Granted, I was young when i saw Jedi in the theatres, but I thought they were cool.
Back during the premiere of Episode 1, I was in LA during the grand premiere hype, people were standing in line for weeks just a few blocks from where I was staying. My friend found an old beat up decrepit Darth Vader mask from some haloween costume. I was thinking of wearing it with some decrepit, ragged clothes in a combination of Darth Vader and the character Mr. Ron Shabby from Mony Python (“I use Rancid Polecat number two. It keeps my skin nice and scaly.”) I intended to stand in line and declare myself to be Darth Shabby. My friend talked me out of it since she thought I’d probably be beaten and killed by fanatics who had been out in the sun too long. Damn.
I didn’t care for the movie, for several reasons. I thought that the whole mediclorians thing was really stupid. I’d like to agree with Whack-a-Mole. I expected Sam Jackson to say something like, ‘say what again, mofo! Say it again!’ but all I got was, 'That one has alot of stupid things in his blood that make him powerful! He’ll be evil, I’m afraid. You cannot train him. Yoda is right. Now excuse me while I kick ass. Raaah!" shoots up the place The whole trip about lil 5 year old Skywalker flying the fighter up and accidentally saving the planet via pressing buttons made me want to vomit. Finally, you know Darth Maul isn’t gone for good. They refer to them as the Clone Wars for a reason.
~ARose
**
Bronzed ovaries. Weird I know.
Marc
The lightsaber duels in Phantom Menace were jizz-tastic. The rest of the movie was unnecessary. Except for Natalie Portman. If they could’ve given her a lightsaber, and then when Jake Lloyd says, “Master Qui-Gonn, Master Yoda talked about midichlorians what are midichlorians,” she yells, “Oh now it’s ON,” and goes 36 Chambers on his ass, I would’ve enjoyed it a lot more.
I give you respect for taking an unpopular position, though, jarbaby, even if it is an affront to all rational notions of art and the underlying value of the human endeavor.
You know what woulde be really cool? If 'N Sync did the sound track for episode II. 
By the way like episode I, not a 'N Sync fan myself.
Okay. On the one hand we have Midichlorians, a biological explanation for being able to be attuned to the Force.
On the other hand, we have a new Star Wars movie out that clearly has something to do with Cloning.
Biology. Clones. Biology. Clones.
NOW do you see why George needed to introduce the idea of Midichlorians?
And no, that is not a plot spoiler for the movie.
Legends of the Fall? Great scenery, if you know what I mean. (wink,wink)
Titanic was okay but the love story was pretty lame. Leo looked like he was about 12.
I loved TPM. I’ve always been obsessed with the idea of lightsabers and PM had more lightsabers than you could shake a… well… a lightsaber at.
Who gives a shit if the pod race was “unnecessary”? Since when did every scene have to be necessary? It’s escapism. If you want a reason, how about the fact that it established Anekin’s abilities?
I thought it had the feel of the original - a truely epic story.
I thought one thing that was missed by many people was the fact that this film was only setting the scene for the following five. You gotta give them some leeway.
And I even thought Jar-Jar was funny. So there. You’ve just got to bring out the six-year old in you. Of course if I was being my normal 24-going-on-50 year-old cynical self, I’d have detested Jar-Jar… but it’s Star Wars, people! I left that embittered shell at the door.
And I cried when the music started too. Have at you.
pan
Please explain the 36 Chambers reference.
My personal big fix for the SW TPM would have been to have the pre-opening publicity to say that Natilie Portman was the Queens handmaiden/body gaurd. At least then at the end when she announces that she is the queen then would have been some, oh what’s that word I’m looking for…oh yeah, drama.
Come on. Let’s settle down for a second here. What was he? EIGHT FREAKING YEARS OLD and we’re expecting Hopkins quality work? We can’t cast Lipnicki in every role that comes down the pike, and when he had that one “i’m cold” scene with amidala, yes, I’ll admit it, I cried. He looked so sweet.
And the rest of ya, All your railing on Jar Jar is completely counteracted by the unfathomable coolnees of Maul, whether he was killed or not. HE ROCKED. ROCKED I TELL YOU.
jarbaby
Well, obviously if you are the kind of person who only enjoys “pure” Hong Kong action cinema without the subtitles or French films about the extramarital affairs of depressed boulangerie owners, The Phantom Menace isn’t for you.
I tried to see it as a kid’s movie, enjoy the story they were telling, and rolled my eyes at Jar-Jar the way my parents probably rolled their eyes at C3P0 and Chewbacca. Also I had to laugh because in college I was in an a menacing cappella group called “The Phantoms.”
It’s no Empire Strikes Back, but why waste time actively hating it? You KNOW you’ll go see the second and third installments.
I have the same complaints as anyone about Phantom Menace, but the bottom line is, I liked it.
Now for a real confession: I loved Eyes Wide Shut.
<Torn between guarding jarbabyj against the menacing Cool People[sup]TM[/sup] with his lightsaber and trying to seduce dlgirl>
I liked Ep I, too. Jar Jar was only a minor nuisance, and I’ve been steadfastly ignoring the whole midichlorian thing. Just thinking about the movie, I can feel the score humming in my bones–I liked the music even more than the FX.
I didn’t mind Phantom Menace. Any movie where you can spend most of the running time watching Liam Neeson and/or Ewan McGregor can’t be ALL bad… 
As I’ve said before,I loved this movie. Maul just made it. I liked seeing Jedis run around like they owned the place, instead of running and secretly training.
I didn’t like Jar Jar.
I hope the midichlorians are justified by the cloning story.
I thought Anakin’s victory was too pat, but at least it wasn’t Jar Jar.
And the soundtrack kicked serious ass.
And there we have it!
note on Titanic and Leo: I wanted to mother him in that movie and I’m currently 20. He has the permanent 12 year old look and its not sexy, its pathetic and deserves an oreo.
Another confession: I have a Furby. I actually love it. In fact, Zette is sending me a free Furby, and I can’t wait!
I thought the Phantom Menace was boring. Nothing strikes terror into the heart quite like a ruthless trade federation, does it? :rolleyes: You know a film is going to be bad when it reveals right away that it’s going to be about taxation and politics. What were Lucas’ other story choices, exactly? The only part that really roused me was the Lightsaber fight at the end.
How on earth did Samuel L Jackson ever get the part as a Jedi Master in this movie? Did anyone else think “Royale with cheese” as soon as they saw him onscreen?
You DON’T explain The Force™. No one has been clamoring to know how The Force works for the last 20 years, so why start now?
Oh NutWrench.
you wound my heart.
I’ve been in love with your name since the day you arrived at the SDMB, and now this?
i’m weeping.
jarbaby