That’s much better than my childhood alter-ego, Chicken Lips.
As for today, I’m a frustrated billionaire. I know what I’d do with all the money, the companies I’d build, the charities I’d donate to, the type of people I’d hire, how to manage the entire fortune to keep making more and to benefit people who need jobs/money/tourism. I just lack, you know, the funds.
Frustrated writer… serious lack of discipline and confidence.
I’m a frustrated cabaret singer. Or maybe lounge singer.
Never could get comfortable on-stage.
Comic Book Writer.
Another frustrated writer here. I’ve written four novels and thrown them all into the trash.
I’ve noticed that the more difficult computer programming I do, the harder it is for me to write. Likewise, if I spend a lot of time writing, I have a harder time focusing on programming work. I guess my consolation prize for a lot of crappy writing lately is that my engineering career is doing quite well.
I’m also a frustrated computer game developer because I don’t have the time to devote to it. Back when Wolfenstein 3-D came out (the original one) I said hey, that’s cool, I wonder if I could do that. I did some research into it, and by golly, I could, but by then Doom had come out. By the time I figured out how to write a doom style graphics engine, quake had come out. I keep ending up a generation behind and never anywhere near a working product.
I have six guitars, three keyboards, and a piano, and I never play any of them. I even have a computer set up as a recording studio of sorts. I would have killed to have this much stuff when I was in high school and college. Now I’ve got it and I don’t use it.
Too many hobbies, not enough time. I need more time dammit!
… cartoonist, writer, teacher, boyfriend and black revolutionary…
Frustrated Politician. (I can’t quite find the level of masochism necessary to jump onto the pyre.)
Less frustrated writer. It’s going. And what I have rewritten is starting to look good. I still am planning a bonfire for my old harddrive, which died and took 30K of novel with it.
Frustrated creator… not sure exactly what of. Perhaps a writer. Or a programmer. Or a web designer. I’ve always enjoyed creating something, then looking back at it and thinking “I made that”. Oddly, never wanted to be an artist. I’m too old to be a sportsman now. Comedian, or comic writer, always fancied that. Musician.
My current job’s not too bad, but I just wish it paid more. I want to not have to worry about money. Anastasaeon beat me to it, unfortunately. Maybe one day.
OtakuLoki, bit of an aside - have you tried any recovery software on your old harddrive? I managed to recover almost everything off my old harddrive after it died - cost a few bucks and took hours, but it was worth it. Try this before you burn it :).
Thanks for the suggestion. At this point, however, the silly thing doesn’t even turn, and last time I tried to boot up from it, there was a lovely scent of the magic smoke coming out. If I were a true hardware weenie I’d be willing to try to make a Frankendisk with pieces parts, but…
I’m trying to look at the brighter side. Rewriting does make for a better story.
…frustrated skinny person. Or rather, a thin person trapped in a thin person’s body.
If I woulda known I was fat, I probably wouldn’t have been playing city league girls’ softball all those years. No one ever told me, tho 
Musician. Only in the sense that if I could sustain a living at it, I’d quit my day job in a heartbeat. Still, I’m having a great time playing bars two or three times a month.
… frustrated astronaut. There are so many reasons that ain’t gonna happen.
Storyteller. I’m shy around people, and lazy, so I never get around to telling great stories.
Frustrated novelist. At this point I’ve decided that I will just write, and to hell with whether or not it’s publishable/anyone but me likes it.
I’m also a frustrated superhero/ fencing master/ princess. Because I am silly.
Join Toastmasters: it can’t help with the lazy but it can help with the shy, and after you get through the first 10 basic speeches there is a whole manual just about storytelling! 