Yes, that is what I learned this last weekend. I visited an old family friend. She used to babysit me and my siblings when my parents would go on long trips. So I was passing through the town where she lives and stopped by. During the course of the conversation, I learned many interesting things.
For one, apparently the government was testing sonar waves in the ocean and killing whales and dolphins and such. So activists eventually talked them out of that. But now the government has been secretly testing sonar waves on human beings. She senses these waves on a fairly regular basis. I noted that she had carefully placed aluminum around her bed, and all around in the bathroom, especially around the tub. I didn’t ask, but it seemed quite clear that this was her first line of defense.
Then she explained that the sonar caused her to have angina that she couldn’t stop even with 3 tabs of nitroglycerine. So she called the ambulance and ended up at the hospital. She told a technician about the sonar waves and he said you’d better not tell that to the doctor or they’ll think you’re crazy…anyway, eventually she’s looking at a picture of her heart and she has a collapsed artery. She told me that the stuff they injected into her heart “to be able to see it” was actually injected to deliberately collapse her artery. She didn’t say why. She then told me they inserted a metal stint into her artery without telling her about it. So she decided she was going to have it removed. She said she can’t even go through metal detectors and therefore won’t be able to fly anywhere.
I just nodded and smiled the entire evening. Didn’t ask why the government would be secretly testing sonar on a relatively affluent community in California. Didn’t ask how exactly the government was supposed to gather any data from these tests. Didn’t ask how the aluminum helped block the sonar. Didn’t ask why the hospital would want to deliberately collapse her artery. Just nodded and smiled and wished her well. Then went home and made double layer aluminum hats for me and my dog. To block the illegal secret government sonar testing rays. I figured while I was wrapping my head in foil I might as well deep condition my hair. So here’s a handy tip for you: your foil hat can double as a deep conditioner wrap! Also, I want to dress up as illegal secret governmental sonar rays for Halloween. Any suggestions?
So, what you’re saying, essentially, is that this woman went nuts as a result of babysitting you when you were a kid?
I’m bald myself, but the next time I need to condition my dog’s hair, I’m going to make him a nice tinfoil hat. After I get a dog, that is. I have a cat, but her hair is already nice and soft, and doesn’t really need conditioner.
I’m not sure of how to dress up as a sonar ray, but I’ll bet you that this Halloween will see a lot of people dressed up as stingrays.
Well, I don’t think any of her beliefs are necessarily causing her harm at the moment, I do think having the stint removed might. But she is adamant about it. I forgot to mention that she also informed me that she is allergic to carbon dioxide. That’s gotta be tough.
I’d be surprised if she could even find a doctor willing to perform the surgery. Perhaps you could convince her that aliens came in and removed it whilst she was sleeping…
