Yes.
Grammar is important. But the ability to prioritize correcting someone’s grammar versus setting all that aside during a grieving process is even more important. I don’t understand how this is even a question up for debate.
I’m sorry but yes, you were behaving like a jerk. I’ve seen it far too many times on Facebook from others who think it’s their job to correct poor grammar. It’s not your business how someone writes on Facebook, and if someone made a comment like that to one of my “friends”, whether it was a death notice or just a mundane status update I’d be embarrassed for them for such a foolish lack of social skills.
It’s not a matter of wrong or right, it’s a matter of timing. There’s a time and a place for everything and death is far too sensitive for most people. This is why you must always be the most conservative possible with comments.
I’m confused. Did you make the comment to the people making the announcement? If you did, then you committed an extremely large social faux pas, and the people would be not be in the wrong to interpret it as you being a jerk.
If you said it to anyone else, it’s insensitive, but, unless you had reason to believe they were grieving as well, it is probably unimportant. (I’d say forgivable, but all things are ultimately forgivable.) But it would, in my opinion, be good advice to become less uptight about such matters. You understood it, didn’t you? And isn’t that the ultimate goal of communication?
I see no reason why anyone who is literate would go through the trouble of being lazy.
The internet is a great levelling tool in regard to the way English is spoken and written, and it seems to me that because of it, North American English will eventually take over everywhere. Britishisms seem to be falling by the wayside everywhere – it’s amazing how often I see someone from the UK use “truck” instead of “lorry”, or “hood” instead of “bonnet”. One never saw this occurring in the pre-internet days; immigrants to Canada from the UK I was acquainted with stubbornly clung to their Britishisms, even when working in places such as garages.
It is understood everywhere that there is a proper, formal English (i.e., the English that one would use when writing a paper), however it is not usually used online. Rather, the more informal, everyday (and even vernacular) English is used, but there are some words, even here, that are in danger of being eclipsed by lazy-sounding words, such as the use of “prolly” for “probably”.
Would this be a natural evolution of English? An expansion of the vernacular? A whole new language? Only time will tell, I guess, but it would seem to me that it would not be a change for the better.
It makes sense to me that whatever one does, one should do well. If that makes me anal regarding the topic, so be it.
.
English isn’t a set of immutable rules divinely ordained in rock. It’s a living language that’s evolved through time to suit the needs of its users; that process simply continues today. To pretend that it belongs to a self-appointed educated elite who can unilaterally dictate its rules of correctness is, well, snobby, anal, and foolish.
North American English is no less valid than British English, no more correct than South African English, and by the same token, Internet English is merely another cultural consensus arising out of the ashes of my third-grade grammar teacher (bless her crusty, well-vocabulated heart). Besides, efficiency is the flip side of laziness and “probably” prolly didn’t need those extra letters to begin with.
A popularity contest is all our dear language is, and the Internet has simply opened the ballot box to all.
I think the problem is that Facebook is different things to different people. To the younger set, it’s a place to scribble out random thoughts, kind of like a journal that happens to be public. Bad grammar is acceptable and even appropriate in this situation, since it conveys the sense of loss and confusion pretty well.
To others it’s more like a letter or print media, where attention to grammar is appropriate.
in any case, it’s never a good idea to criticize the bereaved. When someone close to you dies you get permission to do whatever you need to do for a bit.
Are there people for whom Facebook is something else, substantial and articulate? Is there such a thing as a seriously well-written Facebook page?
You can be anal all day if you like, but if you correct someone’s grammar on a death notice on Facebook, accept that you will be coming off as an jerk, and it will prolly be a futile endeavor anyway. But of course if being a jerk is what you do best, you’ll be doing a great job of it!
I vote jerk. We all have strengths and weaknesses and you brought up something pretty damned petty when someone is talking about death. To me it’s funny that you’re claiming that the person, in their shock and grief, should be thinking of the proper way of communicating. Somehow I think it’s probably pretty far down on their worry list and I’d be embarrassed as hell of you if you said that to someone in my presence.
Harsh? Maybe, but you asked.
That’s how I see it. I love the English language and grammar like a Medieval Knight loves the chivalric code; sometimes I think I would die defending it. I can’t stand the lax attitudes towards grammar and spelling online. But I’m not their teacher. It’s not my place to take a red pen to their posts. I figure, if they want everyone to see that they can’t be bothered to use a period or capital letter, that’s their thing. They can show everyone that their either lazy or uneducated. I’m not going to be the one to point it out and reinforce it.
Well, actually, honey bunny, I wasn’t speaking about Facebook, which to me is just a waste of time. Usually, if I want to talk to friends, I pick up the phone and do it, if I can’t see them in person (and with “all you can eat for $30/month long distance”, who wouldn’t?) I was speaking about English on the internet in general, but then again, considering that I never mentioned Facebook in my posting (which you generously quoted all of), why the hell would you think I was commenting on the “death notice on Facebook” thing at all?
Now who’s anal?
**
nm
Let’s see: you ignored the larger point (that there are times when pedantic correction of someone else’s language is inappropriate) in favor of harping on the mention of Facebook.
Congratulations, sugar tits— it’s still you.
You’re being a jerk if you correct it to their face. Making sarcastic comments to other people about it behind their back - still being a jerk. I don’t deny that my private thoughts would probably be somewhat similar to yours, but I would definitely keep them to myself. You can’t help what you think, but you can keep your mouth shut.