Am I going to hell?

This may not be mundane or pointless, but I must share it or I’ll explode from the guilt. I’ll try and keep it short: I’m in my dorm room, doing work over Thanksgiving break. I need a highlighter, so I went over to my roomate’s desk and opened her drawer (this is normal–we borrow stuff from each other’s desk and drawers constantly.)

Then I saw her diary. And I picked it up. But I didn’t READ it, per se. It had a rubber band thingy on the cover, and I just (this is the part where I’m a IDIOT) stretched it a little and peeked inside and flipped the pages real fast. But I didn’t see anything, except a few words…“he hurt me…” “can I trust him…” Random stuff about guys, I would say. And then I realized I was being a total nosy terrible horrible roomate and slammed it shut and threw it back in the drawer.

And now I feel awful. And I guess I should. Of course I should. A few notes: If it didn’t have the rubby band thingy, I would’ve flipped through it anyway. It didn’t act as a deterrent for me. And I didn’t see anything that I didn’t know (not like it matters, it’s still awful.)

So I can’t do any work. I feel like calling her up in Boston and telling her, but I didn’t see anything, really. I’m just mad at myself for being so damn nosy. It’s despicable, and it’s something I need to control.

So I guess what I’m looking for here is comments: tell me I’m terrible and I’m going to hell, or tell me that what I did was bad, but not awful. Or tell me that you do this stuff all the time, or tell me a story when you did. Either way, I learned a lesson. Nosiness=guilt=inability to work.

God, I feel crappy.

Will you go to Hell? No…no such thing, so you are fine there.

Don’t feel guilty about it though. You were tempted but you didn’t read it.

You say:

But the rubber band was there. Don’t beat yourself up over things you haven’t/didn’t do.

Don’t tell your roommate about anything. That would make things worse.

Consider this a test of your self-restraint.
All things considered, you did pretty well.

Yep, you going straight to hell in a galvanized bucket. No, don’t make such a big deal out of it. You didn’t read it and that’s what matters. She would probably have done the same thing with yours. Just let it go.

Deep breath.

You know it was wrong, and you stopped. We’re all tempted from time to time, and you gave in to temptation

Guilt feels awful, but it exists to keep us from making the same mistakes over and over. Go forth and sin no more.

Remember, next time you try a stunt like that, you might flip across something like, “Man, I can’t believe what a bitch The Wrong Girl is . . .” and suddenly someone’s private thoughts will be stuck in your head forever. Bad scene.

Don’t call your roommate, but if you’re still feeling awful when she gets back, maybe you should tell her just to unburden your soul. As it stands, you didn’t really do her any harm because you didn’t actually read it–and it’s not that big an issue because you’re NEVER GOING TO DO IT AGAIN, RIGHT??? :slight_smile:

I respectfully disagree. Telling someone something to unburden yourself is just putting the burden on someone else, in this case your roomie might forever think “How will I ever trust her again?”. It’s much better that you’re dwelling on it for a while, since that will probably prevent you from EVER DOING THINGS LIKE THAT AGAIN!!

Right? :slight_smile:

Sulphurous fire and brimstone up the wazootie is waiting for you in spades…

Actually not. I think you’re punishing yourself quite enough. Listen to what Soda said, it’s the best advice.

Yeah, I can see Soda’s side. That’s part of the reason I said not to call right away, and only to talk to the roommate if it’s still causing you burning shame (and distracting you from your ability to do homework) a few days later.

Some part of me says that the free sharing of information cannot be bad. . . but I’m a geek, and all the people I hang out with are geeks, and our emotions are wired a bit differently, or so I’m told. :slight_smile:

Go to your local supermarket.

Buy her a chocolate cake, with chocolate icing.

Chocolate heals all wounds.

Be nice to her. You’ll feel better soon.


Dont be too sure about that one…

back to the OP…go to Hell for it? nah. You learn, you move on. But about what you did see, that is something to be concerned about. Dont tell her what you did (cause it sounds like she has enough problems as it is) which can just cause her more stress. What I do recomend, is be more friendly to her. If you really feel as if you need to help her with this (which I sudgest you do, but thats your choice obviously), be as much as a friend as possible. She might tell you, she might not. If she tells you all that stuff, act like its the first time you knew about it, and help her. If she doesnt tell you, well…atleast you tried.

:holding spiritual litmus paper up to the light:

Hmmm. Not sure. It’s a pinky blue, or a bluey pink.

You might well be going to hell. Not for this though. Is there anything else you’re not telling us?

How did this work out?

SO weird that you asked that, Bosda! I was just thinking about it the other night.

It worked out fine–I felt bad for a week, then the guilt slowly went away. I think the whole boy situation (the “he hurt me thing”) is done…she seems to be a lot happier nowadays–with the exception of the impending MCAT’s.

Thanks for asking, and rest assured that I’m (relatively) guilt-free and a lot less apt to snoop. :slight_smile:

Nah, you may be banished to Heck for a little bit. Say hello to Phil for me. As to whether or not I’ve done that before [indignant]Of course NOT I would never do such a thing again.[/indignant]