So, I have a job where I work a ton of hours (often 70+ a week with one day off a week), but am really lonely when I come home. It’s getting sort of depressing, because all I do is go to work and come back home.
However, I love animals and I do find them good company, and I think having one would lift my spirits a lot. I like both cats and dogs, but I know for a fact my schedule won’t allow me to get a dog. But could I have a cat on this schedule? I would also like to get a kitten (please don’t hate me for saying that) because I have had experiences with having cats later in life and they didn’t always bond with me a really well.
So, my situation is, I would like to have a cat, preferably an affectionate one. Is it fair to leave a cat alone for 12-16 hrs by itself at a time? Is it fair to do that with a kitten? If I got a kitten during my vacation and stayed with it for about a week before going back to work, would that be okay? What about three weeks?
There’s a relationship between how affectionate a cat is and how emotionally independent they are. An affectionate cat is going to like attention. They may be able to occupy themselves if you’re gone all day, but they may attack you with purrs and kisses once you’re there. Which sounds fun. But sometimes it can be irritating. I have raised my voice a few times because a cat won’t let me type on the computer or read a book without putting their big head or body in the way.
When I was in grad school I got Monstro the cat. He isn’t very affectionate, but he was playful. He would make the cutest little overtures for me to spend time with him, but I was always busy. So it was clear to me that he was bored and I wasn’t being a good friend. So I got him a playmate–another cat. And that worked out beautifully.
This would be the best option. You’re lonely for the few hours you’re at home. Think about how lonely a cat would be there all day, every day, all alone. Two adult cats would keep each other company, they’d be there for you when you were at home and you’d be giving two unwanted cats a home.
Sounds like the perfect solution for you and them!
I wouldn’t get two adult cats unless you could plan for a few days at home to introduce them, see if they’re compatible. But what do we mean by “adult”? Full grown?
Twenty-some years ago, I got one kitten and a couple weeks later another kitten. I wasn’t working 70 hours, but I was working 40 plus commute time, so they were alone a lot. They got along great, and I never had any behavior issues with them.
Having two meant they kept each other company not just when I was gone but when I was busy with something.
I don’t see a problem with getting two kittens, as long as you kitten-proof the house.
We mean someone has two adult cats and they don’t want them anymore so they take them to the SPCA. Gestalt needs two adult cats that already know each other and a home so he takes them!
Many times, shelters will have pairs or even trios of adult cats who have come from the same home, so they are already used to each other, and in fact it’s better for these buddies to go to the same home together. I wouldn’t take two adult cats who didn’t know each other and throw them in the same home and leave them to work things out unsupervised, though it would be possible to put them in separate areas and switch them from one area to another so that they can get used to the idea of a new home AND a new companion.
These adult buddies frequently land in a shelter because their owner either died or had to go into a nursing home.
Sixthing or whatever number we’re up to on adopting two adults who already know each other. As far as whether they’ll bond with you or not, you’ll be able to tell a lot by how the interact with you at the shelter. “Lover” cats are gonna love anybody.
You also can’t guarantee you’ll bond with a kitten. I picked out a kitten that turned out to be an extremely aloof adult cat. There was no way I could have known that from her kitten behavior.
High-numbering the “two adults who know each other” option. Cats really are social, most of the time. They are just like human introverts. They want their space and they want companionship on their own terms. The nicest combo would be if one of the two cats is very affectionate/friendly and the other more independent. That way you get the affection of the affectionate one without being overwhelmed by two too-friendly cats, but your affectionate one still has companionship when you aren’t around.
Two cats are more work/expense than one, but it’s not double. As Lynn said upthread (maybe others did too) shelters might have cats who came from the same home. They will almost certainly be able to point you to groups that do fostering, where people take multiple animals in a will have an idea about how certain cats do with others. Getting two cats from the same foster home is a great thing for everyone involved!
In any town of even modest size, between shelters and rescues (contact point: shelter) someone will have a matched pair from the same home.
Kittens would be a horrible choice (socialization to humans, even the idea of ‘humans make the rules’ would be new). If you insist, go for at LEAST 3 MONTHS - personalities will start to jell about then LITTERMATES.
You’re not going to be there; they need to get along without human oversight.
Agree with the advice to get a bonded pair of adult cats.
Cats are not nearly as needy as dogs, and they will be fine home alone for long stretches of time if they have another cat to interact with. I have left my cats alone for days at a time in the past (with a large tray of food, water, and fresh litter box before I left of course) and they always appreciated seeing me again but didn’t seem harmed by it at all.
We’re seeing the other side of it now - we brought our two adult female cats together when my husband and I met each other, they lived in armed truce for about 10 years, but now that the older one is dead, the younger one has become very needy and (I think) lonely without her nemesis.
Even if the cats don’t love each other, they do keep each other company when you’re gone.
The adult cats you didn’t bond with in the past - were you their sole provider of food and care? Because that makes a huge difference in the bonding process.
Yet another vote for two bonded adult cats. We adopted our cat when she was nine years old, she spent the first week hiding under the bed but very quickly adapted after that.
For someone who wants a friendly cat, one bonus to getting an adult cat is that you can get a better sense of what the personality will be like. It also helps if you go to a shelter where the staff gets to know the animals and can provide some guidance about which cats are friendliest.
When I adopted my two cats as adults, it was based to a large extent on what the shelter workers told me about how friendly the cats were. One of them had spent some time in foster care so they knew her pretty well. Both cats are currently sitting with me purring away, so I’d say they bonded with me well.
On the other hand, my husband’s family raised a cat from kittenhood (found abandoned) and the cat was always more of the “Leave me alone!” type.