So that’s how it works? Okay. I’m filling out the application now. What sort of Detours and Roadblocks will I get?
“What are you afraid of?”
“Chocolate, and being made to sleep with Johnny Depp.”
Detour: Chocolate or Chocolat. In “Chocolate,” teams must go to this Godiva chocolate factory and look for marked production lines. At each line, team members must eat a freshly-made candy of various different types, 15 candies in all. Finding every marked production line in the factory might be difficult, but the candies will be delicious, and some of them will contain liqueur fillings which will go down easy. In “Chocolat,” team members must go to this studio where portions of the movie were filmed. Film crew members will give them clues that will lead them to Johnny Depp’s dressing room. When the teams find Depp, each team member must kiss him passionately. Finding your way around the movie studio will be easy, but Depp is a notorious recluse who smokes and might have bad breath, so the kissing part could be difficult.
I’m going to sit here all afternoon thinking up new fears for *rockle to make Detours out of.
My biggest fears are robots with chainsaws for arms and sharks with frickin’ laser beams on their heads. 
I gues we know where you stand on this (not so) great debate.
See, this is the problem with genius: people take advantage.
Detour: Armed or Dangerous. In “Armed,” team members must drive 15 miles to this enchanted forest and use these chainsaw-armed clearcutting robots to fell two magic redwood trees. The forest is far away, and the robots have a tendency to become possessed and turn on their operators, but teams with good mojo can bewitch the robots long enough to complete the task. In “Dangerous,” teams must take a ferry to this secret evil island, where they don wetsuits and dive to the bottom of a tank filled with sharks with frickin’ laser beams on their heads to retrieve their clue. The tanks are fairly small, but the sharks are very hungry, and their control of the beams is poor. Teams that move quickly might be able to get the sharks to shoot each other with their laser beams.
[Yeah, on this one, I got nuthin’.]
It’s okay, I still thought it was damn funny.
Damn you hamsters for eating my post!
A summary of my alleged brilliance follows.
Team Pa***ole seems to be missing a few letters. and manners. and being smacked in the head with a lasagne pan!
I loved teams driving around Manhattan (there’s a reason I ride my bike around this island). Only locals would know that a direct route is probably not the fastest route to Lex and 81st!
Team Jesus saves! (But not my husband). That was ironic, dontcha think?
And good riddance to the non-Philimination rounds, but with 11 eps, we’ll be seeing some two-parters as teams get lost driving through the cornfields in the flyover states.
Detour: Saws or Jaws.
The remainder is left as an exercise for students.
D’oh!
Whatever you do, please don’t send out Nastassja Kinski to give me a swedish massage!
Heh … I need two fears to make this work, unless you want to count "Nastassja Kinski’ as one fear and “Swedish massage” as another.
Naked! With her secret twin sister!
Today, supervenusfreak and I went out to visit the local spots where they did the detour and the pit stop. We took pictures, too! I started a new thread in MPSIMS because it’s not really ABOUT the show, but rather something kind of mundane (but really neat!) that we did: The Keoghanite Pilgrimage
Bloom County references are wasted on you people.
That is what that was … I cannot apologize enough. I read that originally and chuckled, thinking, “Heh, I read that in Bloom County before.” Then I thought that maybe I was just old for recognizing a Bloom County reference.