There was a place in the town where I went to college that had a sign advertising “Liquor - Guns - Ammo”…
‘cause, you know, you don’t want to have to drive all over the place getting liquor, guns, and ammo before you hop in the pickup to go huntin’ roadsigns.
I’d say someone made the connection that diamonds=“ice”, ergo a diamond tennis braclet=a “cool” wrist.
Apopka, FL - BIG BASS MOTEL (yup, all caps)
Guess which of the two "B"s gets vandalized…
Going northbound on 71 between Columbus and Austin (we’re in Texas here) there is a sign for some restaurant that wants you to know they’re serving
SEAFOOD - ALLIGATOR - MEXICAN
Bloody cannibals. And then there’s A & R SEAFOOD - CHINESE HAMBURGER in downtown Houston which is all boarded up, no doubt from confusion. Or everybody’s going to the THIS IS IT SOUL FOOD place nearby.
Somewhere in the South right off an interstate is a small strip mall with a gas station and three stores selling GUNS - LIQUOR - INSURANCE. In the middle of nowhere. Wish I’d taken a picture.
-fh
There’s a little deli/market type place around here called the “BAY HO.”
I’m thinking that they meant it in a jaunty sea-faring way, as in “land ho,” but somehow that’s not the first thing that comes to mind.
Another one that just crossed my mind …
Fort Collins, Colorado - GUNS GUNS GUNS
It’s along an unincorporated “redneck row” – most development in Fort Fun is pretty high end, but Mulberry Drive – we’re looking at welding shops, mobile home and portable shed dealers, used car sales, country/western bars, body shops, that sort of thing.
That reminds me. Is there still a place in Fort Collins called Glory To God Towing? It was there in the mid-80’s. We always called it Wrath Of God Wrecking.
I, too remember seeing a store sign reading “Taxadermy & Cheese” on America’s Funniest Home Video’s once.
My hometown is a small rural community, and is FULL of crazy signs, well as the neighboring towns. A few notable ones that I remember:
BOILD PEANUTS $3
HOT DOG’S AND GOLDFISH
BOILED CRAWLFISH
NUTERED HOUND FOR SALE
NO ID! NO SELL!
at a bait store/restaurant “Joe’s Restauarant”, or something like that, there is a sign that reads
“Eat at Joe’s
Get Worms!”
I chuckle every time I see it, and one’s of these times, get a pic of it, too
Sign on C store door:
“Warning!
For your Safety
This store has video monitoring.”
Now, if only the gubmint had the same truth in advertising.
…
Missouri has a variation on this, “We have the meat you can’t beat!” I can’t help but giggle every time I see the sign…
Again in Missouri, there is a combination Bridal Shop and Feed Store. I could never figure out what inspired these people to combine wedding paraphenalia and food for livestock, but I’d probably rather not understand the thought processes behind it.
Signs at a college bookstore:
On the awning: Students Bookstore
On the door: Student Bookstore
On the window: Student’s Bookstore
Well, at least they got one of them right.
In the nearby town of Beaver Dam, they have a dry cleraners called
BEAVER CLEANERS
And this is more pitiful than funny, but our town has at least three misspelled signs:
An ANTIQUE store with the N written backward
THE PUTER MUG (with a long vowel line over the U so we can tell what they mean)
and the winner—
WHISTLEN’ JOES (because they know it needs an apostrope in somewhere)
Here in NYC there’s a mini-chain of Dyke’s Lumber yards…
Condomology; Parking in Rear
Woody’s opened right next door to Hooters.
In Thomasville, GA the road from the nursing home to the funeral home is “Pallbearer way”
I’ve always been particularly creeped out by the Sherwin-Williams Paint Company signs. There’s a picture of a SWP bucket pouring blood-red paint all over a picture of the globe. And it says, “COVER THE EARTH”.
Doesn’t that sound threatening? It might have been even a little bit less menacing if they’d chosen a less alarming color to COVER THE EARTH or if they’d softened up that motto ever so slightly. What’s wrong with “Cover Your World” or “Cover Your Hallway”?
Signs I have seen and have the pictures to prove it.
If you don’t get the “brat fry” reference, ask anyone from Wisconsin.
(At a video store)
Tuesday is Senior Citizen Day!
Rent One, Get One Free!
At the local Arby’s last fall:
Now Hiring
French Dip
2.49
The wage seemed a bit low, even for an intellectually-challenged European.
San Jose radiator has the motto:
The best place in town to take a leak.