This thread was inspired by a spam thread title in GQ. It was an intriguing topic, and I was disappointed that it wasn’t real. So I decided to make it so.
What does the title conjure for you? For Half Man Half Wit it conjured up an image of a deer in an evocative forest landscape suddenly pissing into the picturesque river. For me, it reminded me of seeing our local grey fox population chomp down on a nest of baby bunnies.
Anyone else?
Bunnies. Little poop-making lettuce thieves. They had it coming.
The other day we were painting something out in the barn and the chickens were more underfoot than usual. I looked out in the pasture where the goats and little horses were chillin’, and saw a raccoon! He was just moseying along the fence, and when he saw me, he coughed and said “moo?”
We chased him off, but saw him a couple more times in the yard that day. The animal lover in me was like, “Oh, he’s so cute!” but the person-who-just-built-a-chicken-coop-fortress was like, “Coon in the daytime, not fair!”
My first trip through Yellowstone, we rounded a corner and there was this big old smelly dead moose on the side of the road. Something like that.
Sitting by the campfire early in the morning watching the sun rise and a large bird poops in your fresh cup of coffee.
Fantastic aim!
I was sitting in my backyard the other day, and a few honeybees were drowsily zooming around the flowers. I was thinking about how honeybees were dying off for reasons unknown, and was glad that these few at least were alive and well and content.
Then one took a downward zoom and accidentally blundered up against a little overhang at the bottom of the wall of my house. It tangled up in a small web, and instantly a big black widow descended from a hiding spot and pounced on the poor bee and took it up into its lair.
I was visiting a local wildlife rehaber. She had a bird that was due to be released, and she let it go in her yard. There were three bird feeders and two trees in her yard, and the bird flew toward one of the trees.
Out of nowhere a Cooper hawk appeared and took the bird. Amazingly Mood Spoiling Nature, indeed.
Running the trails in the Forest of Nisene Marks, approaching a large, grey boulder on the side of the trail that suddenly jumps up, runs up the trail a short ways, turns and charges. Wild pig.
You go out camping and it starts to rain.
Well, that’s pretty much camping, innit?
Going out late at night to see a meteor shower only to see a thick layer of clouds.
Just plain old heat. Can’t even leave the house!
I dabbled in the white bird release business for a while. I got to know several of the others in the business from a web site they have. It seems the coopers hawks have gotten to recognize the release baskets and patiently wait for the release at funerals.
Thanks for starting the thread, Quadgop!
In the vein of some of the previous entries, I’m going to go to hell for laughing at this…
I also thought that thread title was far too good to waste on a mere spammer.
I see people tossing cigarettes into a nature preserve.
While vacationing in Alaska, we spotted a bald eagle in a tree about a hundred yards away. My family took turns looking at the handsome, majestic bird through binoculars, feeling proud and patriotic at having finally spotted this iconic symbol of our country.
Then the eagle took a MASSIVE SHIT and flew away.
I was driving back to college one summer, beautiful sunny day, tunes on the radio, rollin’ down the interstate…and a swallowtail butterfly suddenly decides to commit seppuku by getting tangled up in my windshield wiper. The fluttering was horrific.
I pulled over to see if the thing was rescuable but it had been pretty much sliced in half. Definitely killed the mood.