The first guy had a good voice, too bad it sounded like a woman’s… At least for the judges…
Hey Dio I can’t give you a total recap, but I’ll hit some highlights okay?
The most amazing part you missed was this tiny little brunette barbie-skank who was dressed in a fishnet contraption over a miniscule bra thing and skirt thing, she was gorgeous but I kept looking for the pole she was going to dance on in her audition. She had presence and was nervous/excited/confident all at the same time “I wanna be a superstar!!” and while Randy and Simon were obviously enjoying the eye candy you could feel hatewaves radiating from Paula and Brandi.
Then she sang Whitney Houston’s “I have nothing” and it was powerful and she even nailed the chorus without going flat/sharp, admittedly difficult to do especially acappella.
Brandi and Paula’s faces were priceless, you could so see that they’d wanted to hate her and were blown away by this powerful voice coming outta her cute little pornowannabe self. Obviously, she got thru.
I hated the Freddie Mercury kid, thought they were being sarcastic with the ‘you sound just like him, omg!’ thing and Simon’s honest take of “you could do great kareoke, with your mediocre singing ability and superior imitation skills” was dead-on.
A fella who claimed to be a former cruise-ship singer was amazed when he was turned down, hey at least if he was doing the cruise thing (like Jennifer Hudson last year) it’s easy to imagine why he was surprised. He’s been a professional singer, right? Holy cow, so much excess vibrato and so incredibly nasal that it utterly ruined what might have been a decent voice, he pole-vaulted beyond gospel-chinning extra vibrato in and was trilling and throwing sixteenth notes in all over the damn place…I kept wondering if he listens to a lot of techno stuff and was trying to imitate sounds they use machines to make, y’know?
There were quite a few male crooners that Simon delighted in squashing, one of those moments where I just wonder what the judges are seeing/hearing differently because they were certainly better than some that got thru and not deserving of the cutdowns.
The twins mentioned earlier were named Rich and JD, I think. We got to see footage of them auditioning last year together and like a lot of the twin/triplet tryouts, they didn’t exactly suck but were too novelty. Then we were shown video of them singing in their basement recording studio or something, where they sounded quite good. If I recall correctly, they reauditioned together the first week, got turned away, then one got thru by himself in Vegas and this was the chance for the other to get thru solo, but he just didn’t quite have it. He did, however, have a lot of spleen to vent on Simon for being judged unfairly, and the kid was a good-looking decent singer but unfortunately sounded way better in the footage than he did in the actual audition, so there ya go.
Most hilarious novelty act was a young woman singing in a cow suit, I can’t even remember if she could carry a tune or not because the most amazing thing wasn’t even the cow suit itself, but her grabbing the rubber udder with both hands and gesticulating with it during her song. Hellarious!
Hope that helps! 
I liked both the Cajun guy (Scott) and the overweight woman with black glasses. Other pop stars have been obese and successful, like Mama Cass, for instance. I’m glad Scott got through, but the lady should have been sent through for the same reason LL gave about Scott — let America decide what it wants.
My favorite moment:
Simon: “Tell us about yourself.”
Auditioner: “Well, I’ve been singing on a cruise ship for about…”
Slacker: “Uh oh.”
I recognized Chris Wylde right away, although I didn’t remember his name. Now I’m left to wonder whether the producers didn’t know who he was, or if they assumed we wouldn’t. I assume he was doing a bit for a radio show or something there.
The dude who sounded like a girl wants to be named “Shakeekee?”
And the poor mufaletta brother. I felt a little bad for him, although his sense of entitlement irked the hell out of me. Still, it’s embarrassing to watch some of these guys who obviously take it so seriously.
I didn’t think the stripper girl was remotely attractive, but she could sing “aite.” She seems like a mess though so I’ll look forward to her implosion next week.
When that one lady fell to the ground crying when her boy passed the audition I asked my wife, “Is that his voice teacher?”
They can improve her looks, as they will with Jennifer Todd if she makes it to the semis, but it’s up to her to improve her stage presence. I think what torpedoed her was her posture and those feeble arm gestures. Jennifer Todd was very dignified; this woman seemed desperate, which is never a good idea.
Also, my heart hurts when rejected auditioners start in defending themselves. Yes, I understand that you chose your song, your outfit, your moves, whatever, for a reason. But if you’re not being sent to the next round, then it didn’t work, and you can’t convince them to put you through by telling the judges why you thought it would.
From what I’ve heard, it’s Simon’s label so he gets final say. If it were mine, I would want the final say too. He doesn’t have control over who America picks, but at least he can send packing some people in the first couple rounds.
Oh my, I totally missed him and I can’t recall seeing him. Anyone have details?
That does help. thank. That was just the sort of rundown I was looking for.
Yeah my sister and I recognized him right away, too, but the different name threw me off. I read this thread last night and my suspicions were confirmed. However! This morning he was a call-in guest on one of the local radio stations (95.5 WPLJ) and they asked him about it too, pointing out the Trading Spaces appearance and he denied it being him. This is almost starting to annoy me. Clearly he’s recognizable if all of our meters were tipped, so wtf is happening here? He said on the radio show that he’d be on Access Hollywood either tonight or tomorrow (I forget). I didn’t watch tonight, did anyone see that maybe?
Not to mention that if you do an IMDB search for Christopher Noll, Chris Wylde’s profile comes up immediately.
Thank you! Man, that was driving me nuts!
I thought his name was J.P. So that’s three possibilities.
Yeah, I know. But sometimes it feels like he’s saying no just to be a dick, or just because he’s in a bad mood/tired/whatever.
Wow, so a lot of you thought the skank who sang Whitney was talented? Hmmm. I would have told her she may be able to find work doing small-time musicals if she weren’t so whore-ish. Unless the musicals were about whores, of course.
And attractive? Excellent figure, yes. Unfortunate face.
/Ms Cyros
I didn’t think she was attractive at all. I also thought she had a horrible voice. It wasn’t good. It was just LOUD.
That was exactly my reaction. Powerful = Loud.
Nope, and her speaking voice grates on my nerves.
Unless the teasers for next week are misleading, she’s going to have what might well be a fantastic meltdown.
Hooray!
This pleases me 
Actually Simon’s vote count as two.
Pha got two votes from the judges one who from Simon and Paula, which actually counted as 3 because of Simon’s two votes. If the other contestant had gotten Simon’s vote he would have been a shoo-in.
Simon’s two votes was to prevent a tie from happening especially when there was a guest judge. It went back to a one vote when it was just the three of them.
Hmm, I guess I misspoke, I didn’t think barbie-skank was good as much as I totally expected her to suck horribly. The screeners put thru the best and worse they see and I was figuring her for one of the “omg, is that music?!” types, and she wasn’t like that. She’ll wash out in the finals for sure, but for this round it’s good or gawdawful and she can at least carry a tune.
I didn’t realize Simon’s vote counted for two, I just thought they were ignoring the guest judge’s vote whenever a tie arose. Are any of the celebs that have sat in so far planning on coming back for any of the later nights, does anyone know?
You’re welcome,Dio.