American Idol Audience: SHUT THE FUCK UP.

I can excuse the girls screaming, manufactured and not. And the rapture :roll eyes: they feel whenever anyone sings loudly. But for the love of music, stop your a stupid fucking clapping in unison while the people are singing. If it happened once in a while, because the mood demands it be done, fine. But they just started their asshole clapping before—yes, before—the guy sang one note. It’s so fucking distracting. So SHUT THE FUCK UP.

And while I’m at it, enough with the waving the arms in unison when you’re not clapping. Again, if it happened once in a while with an appropriate song that being really well performed…fine. So, if you MUST wave your stupid arms back in forth, please, can you all bring chainsaws, machete’s and sling blades next time. Then, please, by all means, wave your arms like palm fronds in a hurricane.

You watch American Idol??? ^^^^ PALATR ^^^^

It’s 1984. A trio of young Germans sit at a piano, intently focused on the keys and scribbling on notepads.

**“Wave your arms, like palm fronds in a hurricane…” **

*Nein nein, zat ees not wryte. Too wimpy, ya? Vee shut try: *
“Wave your arms, like a rock in a hurricane…” **

Nein. Who vud vave a rock in a storm? Zat ees zilly. Vy nut:

"Here you go, have a rock in a hurricane"

*Ya, ya, zat ees closer. But not ezactly vat we vant, no? To nice, ees not right. Wut about: *

"Where are you, ha–"

Vait, vait, not ‘vere are you’, but ‘here I am’. Unt needs more aynger:

"Here I am, throwing rocks in a hurricane"

Ah ya, goot goot. But too close to zat movie, you know? Ends vith tears or farts in zee rain or somzing like that. Vy not somzing zee keeds can shake zere feests at? Somezing like ‘fook yoo’ but vith guitars; somzing still angry but steel fun and to get us cheeks:

"Here I am, rock you like a hurricane!"

Ya! Ya! Ya! We make gold reecord now.

How else are they supposed to tell their friends “Hey, you hear that jerk on TV clapping before the song even began? That’s me!”? Really, what other reason would someone have to show up in the audience for American Idol?

Rhythmdvl, that totally made my day! :smiley:

applauds for Rhythmdvl

I am totally e-mailing Klaus Meine to ask if that’s how the writing session went.

Props to Rhythmdvl.

Megellan01, you get no sympathy for still watching American Idol.

I learned a long time ago audiences on TV shows are trained monkeys. They will clap whenever they are told. So your beef is not with the audience but with the guy handing out the treats.

Oh, the irony! magellan01, we’ve been telling you to shut the fuck up for years.

I can support this pitting, but I’d like to extend it to any live performance.
My husband absolutely hates it when the audience claps prematurely. It’s “nice” and all, but when the singer is belting out a killer final note, cutting him or her off partway through with applause removes ones ability to actually hear said killer final note.

The most awesome thing I experienced in a theater a few years ago was a performance so stunning that the entire audience forgot to clap. It was kind of amazing.

Everytime they do that (specifically on AI where there often isn’t even a good ‘beat’ to clap to in a lot of that pop music) I always think of an old SNL skit. As I recall it was the News and Adam Sandler was singing. The audience started clapping and after a few seconds Sandler said “you guys have to stop, you’re messing with my head”. I’m always waiting for the clapping to mess with one of the contestants. Many of them have never sung in front of more then their school auditorium and now they have 3000 people clapping in (sort of) unison.

They shriek “BOOOOOOOOO!!!” every time one of the judges says something even marginally critical with clockwork regularity, and you have a problem with the clapping?

Huh. Reminds me of that Assassin’s Creed: Revelations player who grumbled that the main female protagonist didn’t scream and whine at Ezio enough. Not saying that’s wrong, just highly unexpected.