… is two blocks from my house, in an otherwise comfortable middle class suburb of Kansas City. It’s a huge, windowless, battleship grey building set among more tasteful, thoughtfully designed commercial structures.
Walk through the unlandscaped parking lot, past the scattered shopping carts and vehicles of questionable roadworthiness. wait a few seconds for the ultrasonic detector to detect your presence and open the filthy door. No elderly greeter at this Wal-Mart, or should I say El Mercado de Wal. More often than not, store announcements are made in Spanish, on a PA that was acoustically modeled after that of the New York subway system. Products with bilingual labels are stocked with the Spanish side out.
Grab one of the ancient, undersized, European-style shopping carts. How old are they? The handle, when there is one, reads “WAL-MART DISCOUNT CITY.” Sure, one of the front wheels sticks, but don’t bother working your way through the collection of carts to find one that functions properly. All the carts have sticky front wheels.
Toys can be found scattered along the dirt-encrusted floors, even far away from the toy department. A bag of Old Roy, kibble spilling on the floor, is on a shelf next to some Rubbermaid storage cartons. Loud rap music from two different radio stations blasts from the electronics department. Get far enough from the bass-adorned rhymes advocating the smacking of bitches, and you’ll hear the shrieking of a crying baby. Always.
On today’s trip to El Mercado de Wal, a corner of the store was filled with the shouts of a man screaming …
G! YO! G!
WAY YAT? G!
SHEEE! G! MUHFUH G! G! G!
A woman took the advice of one of the rap artists, but instead of finding herself a well-endowed man, she took it upon herself to spank her toddler daughter, repeatedly and apparently at random.
The juxtaposition of items in the tiny book department, where the Bibles and Christian publications that dominate the shelves are placed aside copies of Lowrider, Dub, Us, Vibe, and similar magazines, is quite striking. Time? Newsweek? Automobile? Sports Illustrated? People? Such academic publications are way too highbrow for this Wal-Mart.
Have I discovered the world’s worst Wal-Mart, or are there others out there that make this store seem like a Harrod’s by comparison?
