To be sure, I’m not much of one to partake of ANY food item sold at an amusement park. I’ve been around them a bunch. Seen the kind of things that happen behind the scenes. It’s not pretty.
So, that said, why are the oversized, fat dripping turkey legs so popular?
If you take the time to look at the not-so-obvious facts, perhaps things will come clear.
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The typical amusement park decor includes near-psychedelic painting all over the place. Perhaps, if you examine it closer, you will see strategically placed turkey leg symbols, subconsciously tempting you to eat.
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These same turkey legs are sold at ridiculously cheap prices.
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Turkey contains Triptophan.
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Triptophan makes you sleepy, as if you were ambling around in a semi-hypnotic state.
Could it be that the proprietors of these amusement parks are altering your subconscious, making you crave turkey legs? And could it be that the chemical substances in turkey legs make you tired, and therefore more suceptible to the pandering of the money-grubbers on the midway?
Myself, I think that this is the first step in a world domination plan, put forth originally by P.T. Barnum. Watch out for turkey legs!
I heard that the fires in New Mexico are actually a plot to destroy the huge amounts of turkey leg bones hidden in the desert there.
Apparently, the parent company that oversees the production side of the amusement parks has been stashing them there for decades! There was some evidence that they once attempted to grind them up and use them in the corndog batter, but the resulting flavor wasn’t artificial enough for the masses.
The really weird thing is that the the founder of the parent company has never been photographed. All anyone can find out about him is that he’s single and has two kids.
Creepy.
Let’s find these schemers and get them to burn all the Circus Peanuts. Now THAT would be a fire!
I just think they’re yummy.
Sweet Basil
legal notice:
Nothing in the above statement (henceforth referred to as “OP”) should be construed as a personal attack on any particular circus, amusement park, the company who owns Triptophan, the Park Services Fire people, makers of psychedelic paints, hypnotists, munchkins, Barney the purple dinosaur, or any members, living or dead, named or unnamed, of the Legion of Honor (sic; everyone knows honor is nonexistent, right?).
If you have a complaint, please present yourself in person, with any witnesses, solicitors, counselors, and unwanted in-laws at the gates of Hell, where your needs will be attended to directly by Arch-Nemesis.
thank you.
greygalahad, lawyer-in-training
assistant to the chief legal counsel of Legion of Doom.