Yes, idiots sideswipe you on the highway while yakking on them. Yes, people are perfectly happy to look like crazies by walking around talking into invisible-from-one-side Bluetooth headsets. Yes, you can’t walk through a mall without some kid walking by whose jeans pocket is rockin’ to the sound of the latest T.I. ringtone.
Still, for cellphones I am grateful. Not because they’re handy when you break down in the middle of nowhere (because you won’t have a signal). Not because they have cameras, which saves you the trouble of carrying around those stupid strappy camera bags that you invariably lose anyway. Not because you can play games on them when you’re stuck in the dentist’s office with nothing but a pile of Woman’s World magazines and some booger-eating kids to entertain you.
No, I love cellphones because they are killing the payphone industry, and by extension, have killed collect calling. No longer is David Arquette on my TV enjoining me to dial down the middle for 1-800-CALL-ATT. Never again will I have to hear how 1-800-COLLECT can save me a buck or two.
Rejoicing because cellphone proliferation has killed off ads for collect calling, is like celebrating because leprosy has replaced acne. Or being pleased because Billy Mays has taken over from Orville Redenbacker.*
*who’s still quite perky in the occasional TV ad despite being dead.
Well, maybe, but cellphones don’t steal all your change then tell you you need to insert an additional 20 cents, then refuse to return the coins you already put in when you realize you don’t have 20 more cents.
Also, they don’t provide semi-public changing areas for weirdo superheroes who like to wear their undies on the outside.
Anyway, I’ll put up with a lot for anything that results in less screen time for David Arquette.
Nor did I for a while. I was going through a suitcase full of old clothes and I found a 1-800-CALL-ATT t-shirt that I got from a blood drive or something, and thought, “hey, what the hell happened to collect calling?”
I remember for a few years there were any number of different numbers being advertised for cheap long distance collect calls. They had a great sketch on SNL with Alec Baldwin advertising a 28-digit number with a ridiculously long and convoluted series of mnemonic devices to remember it.
As George Carlin said, “In a country where you can buy cheese in aerosol cans and edible women’s underwear, are we really busting our balls to save nine cents on a phone call?” (Before he did a commercial for one of them.)
I used to be a local telephone operator. I loved making collect calls…well, most of the time. Most calls were handled by an automatic system at this point, but if the person was having trouble with it, he or she could request an operator and I would come on the line. Announcing them was fun. “This is [Your Local Telephone Company] with a collect call from Bob Wehadababyitsaboy. Will you accept the charges?” (Oh, if the call was from a pay phone, I had to say, “Would you like a free rate quote before accepting charges?”) There were surprisingly few goofy names like that, but I’m sure there were some code names that were used.
It’s a bit sad pay phones are disappearing. Oh, they were very frustrating at times, and confusing to the public, and with the rift between “local” (intraLATA) and “long-distance” (interLATA) telephone service and other strange bits of regulation and deregulation that I didn’t even truly understand, almost impossible to use for their intended purpose, but I still get wistful when I see a hole where a pay phone used to be. I was lucky enough to get out of the game before my office shut down, though. Wow, it’s like being one of the last buggy-whip manufacturers or something. A lost art. Who will be the last to hear the sound a quarter makes when it is dropped down the coin slot? When will the dialtone disappear?
Collect calls were great in early high school, just before cell phones came down in price, when you wanted a ride home from school. Some lucky parent would get a collect call from “MomINeedARideHomeI’mAtTheGym”, and then a dial tone, leaving them no choice but to go rescue their spoiled brat.
Or, if they were my mother and I tried it once too often, to call the main office of the school and have them page me to deliver the message that “Mom called. She said it’s a nice day and you can walk.”
Is it even possible to still a collect call? Are any of those businesses still operating? I’d imagine that if cells didn’t kill them off totally, Skype must have been a death blow.
Well, there still are landline telephone companies, and they are the ones who handle the call if you dial 0+the area code and number. 1-800-COLLECT and 1-800-CALL-ATT still exist and have websites. They are just ways to choose a specific telephone company to handle your call–collect calls are not the only thing those companies do! Looks like 1-800-COLLECT is MCI, and the other one is obviously AT&T.
You have no idea the number of people who still rely on “old” technology, especially older and poorer people. (My time with the phone company was not a long time ago–I left four years ago, well within the cell phone age.) Sure, the number is going down, but I actually think it will be a while before the collect call or the payphone totally disappears. One place the collect call is still often found is prison. Probably not a good idea to give the average prisoner a cell phone.
And please don’t compare Willie Mays with Orville. Orville was, firstly, not anywhere near as annoying. Second, that really was Orville Reddenbocker you saw in the ads. The man had a PhD in Agrarian Science and revolutionized the world of popcorn.
I remember the old trick of calling your home number person-to-person when you were traveling and asking to speak to yourself, which let your parents know that you had arrived safely.
I wonder who’s skimming the profit from the inmate phone calls. Locally, it costs almost $5 to talk for 15 minutes. Something NO payphone would have dared charge. And yes, it really does punish the families, most of whom are not well off and not involved in criminal activity.