Since I have managed to be snarky on not one but two forums:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=315138
in the less than two months since becoming a member, I would like to attempt to redeem myself by following the advice offered in this thread:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=314542&highlight=posting+tips
specifically the post made by Shirley Ujest Tip #1.
Setting the scene: I am disabled, and so much of my time is spent in my bedroom, which was originally the family room, and is set up to accomodate me during my flares. It is more our living room than the actual living room is.
I do not walk very well. Actually, that is misleading, I shuffle, not entirely erect, and I am supposed to use a walker, or at the very least, a cane, when I am getting around the house. The following event happened last Tuesday.
My husband, the skiffologist, is away, as usual, fishing. The two kids who still live at home were at school. Other than the pomeranians, the cats, and the fish, I am Home Alone.
It had been the usual circus getting FreakParadeChick and The Boy up, dressed, fed, teeth and hair brushed, and off to school. The animals had been fed, and the dogs were dancing on my bed, indicating the need to go outside, and I was feeling the same need. I have a door in my room which opens to the outside of the house where I have a small dog run, so I got up and shuffled to the door, maybe four steps, and let the beasties out.
Now I have to admit, the walker was out in the living room, and my cane was ahead of me, on the other side of the bed by the door. No worries, just keep one hand on the bed, get the cane, and proceed to the bathroom. Right? Wrong.
I do not crate my dogs, but have found that they do enjoy a den of their own, so I have removed the doors and there are hard plastic airline crates scattered around the house, one rather large crate is in my room. At the foot of my bed. Which my husband, before leaving, put a couple of boxes on top of, including the 41 pound box of books I just received from ebay. These crates are manufactured to be strong enough not to break down and crush the dog inside during shipping, on the off chance that heavy items are placed on top of it.
I don’t exactly know what happened, which is part of the grins and giggles of my disabilities, I never know when some part of my body is going to fail me. All I know is that I was standing, and then I was falling. Straight down - hard - onto my knees. Blinding pain overcame me, literally, as the next thing I realized was that my face had just connected with the dog crate, crushing in the top of the crate with the bridge of my nose, just seconds before my palms smacked against the floor in an utterly futile attempt on their part to break my fall. (I know I have spoken about my RA, between that and the AS my knees are very tender, but I don’t recall mentioning the severe carpal tunnel in both wrists.) At this point, the 41 pound box of books fell on my head, then bounced off my right shoulder.
I blacked out for, I don’t know, a moment or two, then I was aware but not alert. My first thought was “I am on my hands and knees on the floor, I can’t do that” which was swiftly followed by the thought “How am I going to get up?” I knew that the phone was out of reach, it was only 9:00 am and no one was expected home until 4:00 pm.
(This is where I flash on the “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” commercial, and all the spoofs derived from it!)
I honestly don’t remember getting up. I had a bruise across the bridge of my nose, and various bruises and lumps scattered elsewhere, including two on my head. I don’t know how I escaped without developing a couple of black eyes, but I did have a headache for four days.
I managed to get to the bathroom, at which point I realized that I now needed to bathe and change. So I get the water running, sit on the side of the tub and pull the lever to get the shower flowing. Since I am unable to stand for any more than a few minutes we have a hand held shower so I am able to sit and still get clean. Well, as I pulled the lever up, the water pressure caused the hose attached to the fixture to abruptly burst off it’s fitting, the entire apparatus falling on my head, water spraying everywhere. I turned off the water and tried to reattach the hose, but my hands, weak on a good day, hurt too badly to be effective. Finally I threw the mess down on the floor and proceeded to take a splash bath - extremely unsatisfying, as I was looking forward to a nice hot shower to help loosen up muscles which were already becoming stiff and painful.
After my splashing I dried off, put on a clean nightie, and, with the assistance of the cane, made my way back to my bed, letting the dogs back in along the way.
Now, a week later, I am still recuperating. The bruise on my nose has faded, but the rest of me still has multi colored brusing, and I still have two lumps on my head, one on my forehead from the crate, one on the back of my head from the box of books. My knees no longer feel mushy, but they are still mighty tender!
Now, if I can look at this and laugh my butt off, I hope that you Dopers will see the humor in it. Think Keystone Kops, think someone slipping on a banana peel, just think pratfall. I have no doubt that, if I had witnessed this, while being concerened, I would have still laughed until I cried!
(I generally have a decent sense of humor when it comes to my ill health. Laughter is very good medicine indeed! 
I feel sorry for people who can’t laugh at themselves.