Let’s start at the beginning. We see a lad of seven years, without a care in the world, except maybe when Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comes on. He’s innocent and loves everybody and everything. He’s at peace with the world, God and humanity and lives a generally idyllic life.
Then his stepfather runs off with three hundred dollars and a lot of other things, leaving Mother to care for him and his sister with a very minimal income. Neighbors give him meals, but he’s barely getting along. The young boy experiences his first hunger cramps – frightening things for such a young child, to be so hungry as to feel like your stomach is eating you from the inside – and his first despair. These would not be his last.
A few weeks later, the three wind up in Florida, to live with his grandmother. He soon finds out that this grandmother is a vengeful control-freak, and makes his life hell. Grandmother works him like a slave and yells at him for very little reason. He is treated like dirt, and his sister fares no better. The age of innocence is over for the little boy, and he gets his first suicidal thoughts. Mother is powerless under the grandmother’s overbearing attitude, but soon has enough. At age twelve, the three move off to another part of town.
Things don’t get much better, but at least the home is now a refuge, rather than a prison. Little boy has numerous social problems stemming from mistrust and anxiety. School, while easy for such a smart little boy, strikes fear into him. He cannot go a day without being worn down by bullies and other assorted assholes. Little boy takes to eating for comfort. Little boy balloons to one hundred-seventy pounds, making the deafening cacaphony of insults even more unbearable. Little boy experiences his first self-hatred.
Meanwhile, Sister has friends and is well-liked. Little boy is jealous and can’t control his misplaced anger, which stems from countless sources. He becomes violent on many occassions, lashing out with maniacal fury. He beats Sister with such ferocity as to cause her to be afraid of him. She even developed kidney problems from his love of beating her on her back as she cowered and trembled. Boy discovers his dark side, and is shocked to find that he doesn’t hate it; rather, he likes it.
A few years later, boy calms down, having had a fairly calm past few years. He’s lost a lot of weight, having taken up long-distance running. But he has deep-seated hatred for the world and despises not only himself, but everyone else. Despite the rancor stored in his heart, he’s stopped beating his sister and their relationship has improved a great deal. No fear between them. But the boy is very distant and spiteful, and no one likes him. Despite genius-level IQ, he’s a loser. He has abandoned God.
Then he fell in love with his complete opposite. To be continued in the next post.
