An interview tip.

[gigi]

@chowder

Gigi As Alistair Mc says I was the one who programmed the machine, the interviewer just stood and gawped and obviously hadn’t the faintest idea what I was doing.

I figure. But misplaced modifiers are one of my pet peeves.

@The King of Soup

So there was even less reason to take offense than I assumed for you. An older woman calling a young woman “dear” is as an expected a constuction as anyone other than someone looking for offense could expect.

You’ve got to be joking.

[The_King_of_Soup]

I think I have been too harsh – I apologize. I still think that if you care about an older person calling you “dear,” either absent-mindedly or thoughtfully, you’re focussed on the wrong thing, but there’s little stuff that shouldn’t bother me, but does, so I’m in no position to judge.

[Misnomer]

@The King of Soup

I think I have been too harsh – I apologize.

Wow. My estimation of you (which wasn’t low to begin with) just went up considerably. Thank you.

I still think that if you care about an older person calling you “dear,” either absent-mindedly or thoughtfully, you’re focussed on the wrong thing, but there’s little stuff that shouldn’t bother me, but does, so I’m in no position to judge.

It was all about the setting, but I’m really starting to think that you and I simply have very different feelings about the term “dear.” I happen to think that being called “dear” is always condescending, no matter the age or gender of the person it comes from, but because of growing up near Baltimore I would probably have an easier time writing off being called “hon” – though that would only come from an older woman.

I’ve happily ignored being called “dear” on these boards (by someone younger than me, no less), on the street, with family/friends, etc. I don’t expect any degree of respect or professionalism in those settings. I do expect a degree of respect and professionalism during a job interview, and I also don’t think it’s an unreasonable expectation: you may consider it something that shouldn’t bother me, but I disagree. I try not to tell others what things should or shouldn’t bother them (unless they ask), and I’d appreciate the same consideration.

[Sad_and_Deranged]

@The King of Soup

Misnomer, does this mean you’ll be hiring the less-qualified applicant who remembered to call you “ma’am?” If so, you’re sacrificing your organization’s best interests to your personal sensibility. All the more needlessly, since it was a faux pas that could have been so easily fixed.

Your applicant misspoke, certainly, but not in a rude, bigoted, misogynistic or even frankly condescending way. He called you “dear,” which is overly familiar, but if he is enough your senior for that to be the explanation, well, then that’s probably the explanation. If you’re less than confident of your ability to establish forms of address with your staff, which I hope is one of the least important protocols for which you’re responsible, even in a situation such as a job interview where you hold all the power, how on Earth do you manage your department? By hiring only perfect people who never need correction?

You’re absolutely right, in that the incident deserves to be included in the next edition of 1,001 interview mistakes, but if you excluded the best applicant for this alone, that’s a management mistake as well. I like you and I’m all for you, Misnomer, but are you sure you weren’t merely seizing an excuse to blackball the old guy?

I have to preface what I’m about to say with the fact that I’ve never actually been in a position to hire anyone. Still, I have the opinion that sometimes hiring someone or even getting hired isn’t soley based on skill and experienced. Sure, that’s a very large part of it. But I think hiring someone appropriate for the job also depends on how well they will get along with the rest of the staff. They may be able to do everything the job requires of them, but most jobs also require communication with co-workers and for someone who might not fit in the environment of where they’re seeking employment, he/she might not be the best canidate even if he/she is the most skilled simply because if she’s unable to communicate in an appropriate manner, productivity might not be as high as someone who is less skilled but can communicate appropriately.