An Open Letter -OR- Junie overreacts upon the loss of her personal property

Dear Sir or Madam,

I hope you enjoy the CDs and CD case you stole from my car on the night of Dec. 1, 2000. I was not listening to the CDs at the time, and it was clear that I would not be needing them in the forseeable future, so I think it right and proper that you turned the passenger seat of my car into your own personal free store.

Heaven knows that I will not be missing the out-of-print Rockapella CD. The loss of several two-disk sets that will cost an arm and a leg to replace does not vex me in the least. I’m not bothered by the fact that one of those CDs was part of a seven-disk boxed set. The fact that at least one of the groups represented in that CD case is no longer performing and ran out of that limited-run disk months ago is immaterial. What matters is that you enjoy the music that I so loved.

It was so kind of you to notice that I was on my way to a concert by one of my favorite vocal groups, The Bobs. You must have known that I would want to spread the wonder of their music when you took my autographed copy of Too Many Santas. I know you will enjoy “The Bobs Cover the Songs Of…” and “Plugged” as much as I did. Please be sure to attend a concert someday. There, you will be able to buy the remaining recordings that I was thoughtless enough to leave at home.

In short, I hope you choke and die, pigfucker. My only satisfaction in life comes from the thought that you may perish painfully when your feeble intellect leads you to play my CDs on your turntable, sending them spinning across the room, decapitating you. I want to see you bleed. I want you to watch me take a bite out of your still-beating heart after I’ve ripped it out of your chest. You are a pathetic waste of skin.

I know this should have gone in the Cry For Your Stolen CDs thread, but there was so much information I was yearning to express. I know most of the CDs weren’t what most people would consider great, but damnit, they were mine and I loved them and I want them back.

For your amusement and edification, I will now play a tasteful recording of Taps and list the music that is now lost to me.

<music begins>
In Memoriam
They Might Be Giants– Sexxy EP
They Might Be Giants–Factory Showroom
Indigo Girls–Rites of Passage
Forrest Gump–Pop Soundtrack
Moxy Fruvous–Live Noise
Moxy Fruvous–Thornhill
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers–Playback, disk 3
Tom Petty–Wildflowers
John Brown’s Body–Redneck Holiday
Big Bad Voodoo Daddy–Self-Titled
Sunset Boulevard–Original Cast Recording
Mystery Science Theater 3000–Clowns in the Sky Vol. 1
The Bobs–Cover the Songs Of…
The Bobs–Too Many Santas
Meat Loaf–Bat Out of Hell II
Meat Loaf–The Very Best Of
<end music>

Thanks for listening.

Well, Junie, that sucks.

However, take heart. If this schmuck has any taste in music whatsoever, he’ll probably want to return them.

The Bobs? Meat Loaf? Rockapella?

Maybe he was doing you a favor.

(I’m just teasing. I especially liked the “I hope you choke and die, pigfucker.”)

It’s so strange that you mention “Clowns in the Sky…” I just downloaded a few MST3K MP3’s off of Napster the other day, and one said it was from an album called “Clowns in the Sky.” I’d never heard of it, and I looked for it on Amazon and Rhino (which carries all of the videos), but I couldn’t find it. I wonder if it’s still available anywhere…

And on the theft of it all, that really sucks ass. I hate to think what the guy (or maybe gal, to be fair) did when he found out they weren’t anything he thought worth reselling.

Ah, but we of the SDMB are not most people. Is Amy Bob doing “White Room” these days, and have you found a copy of “Coaster” yet? And may the people who took your CDs never develop the good taste to enjoy them, the most severe and fitting curse I can think of.

Robot Arm: I haven’t heard Amy do White Room; in fact, she was still getting over a Europe-aquired cold on Friday. But I suppose anything’s possible.

I do indeed have a copy of Coaster. Find one and treasure it. You will not be disappointed. However, it has some lyrics that might not be suitable for little FOBs (I direct you to “She Made Me Name You Earl,” the story of a man [Matthew] and his member; and “Rubber Girl,” Joe’s umm…tribute…to a plastic bedroom pal.) Being a certified semi-grownup, I love it. :slight_smile:

SanibelMan: Clowns in the Sky and its companion, Clowns in the Sky II are still available from the MST3K Info Club. This particular copy was special because it was obtained during a trip to the Best Brains studio back when the show was still in full swing.

ResivoirDog: :stuck_out_tongue: :slight_smile:

Thanks for all the sympathy, kids.

The Bobs rock!!!

The Bobs, Rockapella, and Moxy Fruvous? A pox upon his putrid soul!

I vaguely remember hearing that Rockapella was rereleasing some of their hard-to-find stuff - you might want to poke around on Mainely A Capella.

That sucks, really. Good luck!

eww, that sucks.
My best friend came to visit me back in July, he had to take a 27 hour bus ride to get to Boston. After that, he had a 40 hour or so trip to Colorado. So naturally he packed all his CD’s. When he left, he had a total of about 60 in his bag (Yeah, he overdid it a bit. I guess he just couldn’t choose.) On his way back from Colorado, someone slashed his back. His entire CD collection is now in the hands of some asshole. Man, was he pissed.
Greyhound agreed to pay to replace about half of them, but many of them were irreplacable. Grr.

Juniper, I take it from this that you left your CDs on the passenger seat in full view, bad dicision. I really hate that you were ripped off like that. Did they damage your car or was the door unlocked?

Face it, the Cds are unlikely to ever be recovered, so don’t waste life getting mired down in hate, consider it a learning experience and begin reconstructing your collection. Not that I don’t agree with your post 100%, I’ve been ripped too and it does tend to piss you off, but at least they didn’t put a gun in your face and take your car.

Ok, I’ll leave now, when I start sounding like Polly Anna, it’s time for bed.

::sob:: The truth comes out! The incident occured at a gas station and, yes, I was a big stupid idiot and left the door unlocked while I went in to pay for the gas.

But the place was brightly lit! And I should have been able to watch the car at all times! And there were other people around! And…it was all my fault. Except for the part that was the fault of the person/thing/pustule who took my stuff.

Part of (indeed, much of) the anger I have tied up in the liberation of my CDs is directed at myself, of course. But I’m still angry that someone thought it was okay to take the case, even though I was dumb enough to make it easy for them. Does that make sense?

I learned my lesson. I’m just angry that it had to be learned this way. Why couldn’t they have taken the road atlas or the Mapquest directons? They weren’t doing me much good, anyway.