An open letter to Tommy Chong

Cafe Society
1

Dear Mr. Chong,

I am deeply sad and sorry that you are going away to prison. It’s only nine monthes, and you are going to a Federal joint (no pun intended). You can do nine monthes standing on your head.

I truly believe that you are a political prisoner of a right wing fundamentalist Attorney General, whose dream is probably to shoot anyone who does not think like him. This is facism.

Millions of people smoke marijuana. Millions have enjoyed marijuana. The mayor of New York smoked pot and said he enjoyed it. Our last two presidents got high at some point in their lives. Yet, millions of people are in the can and losing their homes and livlihood because they toke up. Unfortunately, our country is becoming a little less free everyday.

We love you Tommy, we really do. Many of us have watched you and Cheech Marin’s career since we were children. I loved you on That’s 70s show, you are hilarious as hell. I know you are part Chinese, my wife is Chinese and we are trying to have a baby, since he will be part Chinese, maybe I name him Thomas in your honor (I have never met an asshole named Tommy).

Marijuana should be legalized for adults, period. Medical marijuana should be prescribed to people who suffer from diseases. Ashcroft is a bastard, and in November 2004, the American people will send this two bit Baptist motherfucker into retirement, and I’ll smoke a “J” in honor of your freedom and his demise.

May God bless you and keep you friend,

CDM ´óÂé

2

And in 2004, we’ll elect more idiots who want to do the same thing. Hell, the Clinton admininistration tried to threaten doctors who prescribed medical pot in states where it was legal. The only president who seemed to favor real change on the issue was Jimmy Carter.

So now Tommy is serving nine months for selling glassware over the Internet. The same damn glassware than I can drive across town and buy without a problem. And my tax dollars get to pay for it. At the local, state, and federal levels, over $100 billion of our tax money goes to hunt down and lock up drug offenders like Chong. Or would it be more accurate to call Chong a glassware offender?

Come to think of it, how many people really use the rolling papers and blunt wraps (cigar paper without the tobacco) sold at convenience stores for legal uses? Shouldn’t the feds establish an “Operation 7-11” task force or something and blow another few million dollars on this dangerous menace?

Oh well. Let’s just hope Tommy takes his squirrel with him to prison…