I have recently noticed a tendency to want to do something I enjoy (such as posting in the WoW section here), but when I go to it, the desire suddenly leaves me.
And that goes for my guitar-playing, my drums, my bicycle, reading and watching anything on television. Even movies.
Just no desire to do anything anymore and it is worse when my Dondra has to go to work at the hospital and I am all alone. I don’t know what to do with myself and I walk from room to room (even my beloved music room which I have wanted for so long) and cannot get interested in anything.
This might sound trite, but I will share it on the off chance that it might help. We have a 10-minute rule in our house (try something for 10 minutes, and if you still don’t want to be doing it, you can stop again). Any chance that something like that might help you push through with an activity and find enjoyment again?
That’s a good idea, Sam - often just getting something started is the hardest part. It can also help to set your sights lower - when your motivation is low, for example, instead of trying to do a half hour walk, just aim for a walk around the block. You often find that once you get it in gear, you get more interested in an activity.
Crap, that hits me man, seems to run in my family also. I feel for you and its even harder since I went and looked at your blog, now I have a face to go with the name and I feel like I know you just that tiny bit more. damn wind, blew dust in my eyes
Can I get a word from a Mod about posting some links to distributed computing projects for research into Alzheimers please?
Hey Quasi
just a thought, but have you tried exploring some new ground in your music? New directions, trying some new styles or genres? Lateral motion in some of interests might provide a new perspective and maybe some new opportunities for exploring and doing.
Roomie says if you can sit down and post on a computer, you’re doing all right. She said she’s proud of you for knowing what’s happening. Her mother had Alzheimer’s, and she didn’t know what was happening.
She thanks you again for the doilies from Deutschland, and said to tell you she’s using them.
Quasimodem, you know much more about your own condition than I do, but what you’re describing sounds more like depression or a bout of ‘What’s the point?’ than Stage 5. From your post it sounds like you know what you want to do and how you want to do it; you just don’t feel like bothering. I know this is very hard. I think picker might be right- trying something a little different could help.
Ok, just wanted to check, I know it says depends on whats posted in the registration stuff, figured it’d be better to ask first.
[hijack]
The reason for this is because I’ve been sort of following Quasimodem’s posts the last few weeks once I realized what is happening to him. Yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of one of my family members funeral (died from alzheimers)
So, theres this project called boinc that does distributed computing projects to help with science research. They download a client that runs in the background and uses your idle or unused cpu capacity/time to run simulations or whatever and a couple of the projects are medical/biological research that are looking into varies aspects of alzheimers among other things. One of them (I just started using this one yesterday because its in Spain, thus in spanish) has several projects and you can choose which one with alzheimers being one choice.
There is one more that is also distributed computing, but seperate from boinc called folding@home which researches how the proteins related to alzheimers and other neuralogical diseases work and is run from Stanford University.
It doesn’t cost anything but unused cpu time and you can get bragging rights if you want them.
Just kinda wanted to let people know about this if they didn’t already…
[end hijack]
Sorry about the hijack, Quasimodem, just kind of a thing for me, alzheimers is.
Apathy is a horrible thing. When I’m feeling this way (which can be quite frequently), I rely on routine. I turn myself into a robot programmed to do certain tasks and then I just do them. Regardless of purpose or pleasure, I just do them. I make myself feel like I have to do it or some bad thing will happen. Like, if I don’t eat dinner, then my leg muscles will atrophy and I won’t be able to walk (I know, how melodramatic). Or if I don’t do my craftwork, the centrifuge that harnesses my thoughts will go spinning out of control and I’ll lose my mind. Or if I don’t go to yoga, everything will become screwed up in a irreparable way. I have to motivate myself by creating some horrible consequence and then let the robot programming take over.
Before I operated like this, I would literally waste entire days walking aimlessly around town, and then come home exhausted and literally bang my head against the wall. I haven’t done this in a while and I’m glad.
Quasi, do you think you have right-brained tendencies? This may sound like “woo”, but they say that if you’re right-brained dominant suffering from a lack of inspiration, laying down on your back and staring off into space may be a way to snap out of it.
It may be an advancement of your disease, but it also could be depression. Or the summer doldrums.
My heart goes out to you. Here’s an analogy I use sometimes that seems to be helpful.
With your disease, it is like swimming in the ocean. Sometimes, you can swim. Sometimes, the tide has you, and you just need to float for a bit. Try imagining that you are floating right now, and don’t give yourself grief about it. Float until the tide releases you, then swim again.
It IS depression, y’all. I’ve been depressed most of my adult life, so I know this and that’s why my shrink has me on 3 kinds of meds for it.
Yeah the apathy is bad and I hope to get back on either the Aricept or Namenda. They helped before but were to expensive for me during what I fonfly call “The Troubles” that most of you know about, because you helped us out of them. So now I’ll pick up Medicare come September and I’ll be able to afford either of them again with just a co-pay.
The words not coming or coming out wrong is what is getting worse though, as well as the misplacement of stuff and not finding it only minutes of laying it down. Most of you know my driving days are over because I caused a three car accident recently because of this shit.
PLEASE don’t tell me (or anyone else with dementia) “Oh, I do that!!”, because you don’t do that all day long do you?
Johnny, tell “Roomie” thanks, but the REASON I can sit and type here is because I can LOOK at what I’m writing and see what’s wrong most of the time. That’s why I can do the blog as well, but even then I have to go to Dondra and ask her to tell me wjhat I’m trying to say sometimes.
Thanks to all of you for the responses. It means a great deal to me that you’re here.
My geriatric shrink also happens to ne a stand-up comedian of sorts. Here’s a Youtube clip of him at Atlanta’s Punchline. …
