An urban sprawl rant, or Haven't you people heard of Sidewalks?

The BBQ Pit
1

On my lunch hour today I needed to drop the minivan off to get the tires rotated and aligned, so I drove to my friendly neighborhood Tires Plus shop, located on the western fringe of Madison. It was going to take an hour, so I figured I would stroll over to Target and do some Easter candy shopping for the kiddies. No problem, right? Target is only about a half mile way. I can see the sign from window of the tire place. So I start walking.

I realize right away that there are no sidewalks to be seen anywhere. Well, I guess I’ll just cut through the parking lots, making like Frogger. The Petsmart lot was easy – hardly any cars. Circuit City was a little harder – I had to stay on my toes. Menards was a bitch – pickups zooming around everywhere. I make it across no man’s land to the frontage road and look around. No damn sidewalk anywhere.

Well shit, I guess I’ll have to walk in the road. Whoops, two horns later I decide that’s not a good idea. I’ll walk in the grass. Except it’s not really grass, it’s green mud. My loafers are shot by now. Finally I get to the end of the frontage road where it connects with Mineral Point Rd, which is four lanes of traffic, no crosswalk on this side of town, and the lunch rush is in swing. Again making like Frogger, I sprint across in a daring display of jaywalking.

Finally, a sidewalk. The good people of Target thought to put one in. If I had a hat, I’d tip it to 'em. I do my shopping (Starburst jellybeans, 2 bags for $3! Pick some up if you know what’s good for you!) and make the return trip with just as much daring-do as before (except that now I am loaded down with candy and disposable diapers and a box of lightbulbs). I made it back to the tire place in one piece, picked up the van, and drove back to work.

So now, to those folks who graced my fair city with this sprawling, big-box retailer-accomodating, automobile-favoring, no-sidewalk-having, vast wasteland of parking lots, access roads, drainage ditches, and multilane suburban raceways, a hearty “Kiss my ass.” Would it have fucking killed you to make some sort of provison for pedestrians, you short-sighted developer fucknuts? I shouldn’t have to risk my life to walk to the store. And you owe me a new goddamn pair of shoes.

2

Early in my career, I designed a paved pedestrian connector that would have allowed walkers (and bikers) to go from Big Box Retail Plaza to Traditional Main Street Environment (i.e., friendly neighborhood auto mechanic, restaurants, antique shop, library, post office, etc.) The corridor was to have followed street rights-of-way, sewer easements, etc., for a total length of one-third of a mile. I even had the grant money (unofficially) secured.

This path would have passed through a two-block stretch of residential neighborhood.

The neighborhood residents turned out in droves at the public hearing against the corridor. Said that the “wrong element” would be walking on “their” streets. The City Council let the plan, and the grant, die.

Smoke, the bottom line is that developers, generally, want to avoid extra expenses (such as sidewalks), and homeowners don’t want anybody near their neighborhood who doesn’t “belong” there. And elected officials tend to run for cover in such situations.

<sigh> Yet, I keep the true faith. I can relate to your experience, and your frustration. It stinks when you try to make the world better, and then the world kicks you in the ribs.

3

Six days a week for almost half a year, I had to negotiate the Route 7 bridge over I-66 in Northern Virginia. Either end is guarded by the twin trolls of on- and off-ramps, with a continual stream of high-speed traffic and nothing remotely resembling a crosswalk. Once, I carried an old Fourth of July flag with me, thinking that I could use it to signal cars out of my direct line of sight that I was sprinting the twenty feet across the ramp. I could actually hear the hiss of the cars speeding up as I ran across. I guess they thought I was literally trying to flag them down.

That was nothing compared to the bridge itself. Since Rte. 7 is six lanes wide with a grass swamp in the middle, there is really no place to cross for roughly a half a mile on either side, so invariably I was stuck with negotiating the bridge with traffic coming from behind me. The “walkway” was no more than two feet at its widest point, with a roughly waist-level guard rail on the right to prevent cars from falling into the six lanes of I-66 below. The worst part, and it happened often because there are a lot of people like me, was when you met another pedestrian, and had to do the death-limbo to pass each other.

Motherfuckers would honk at me as they passed. I was grazed with an empty Sprite bottle once, and I watched a 40 of St. Ides sail past me into the traffic below another time (I don’t think they were aiming specifically at me, and the bottle broke on the Jersey Wall midway between lanes of traffic below–nice shot, but not planned). Trucks with trailor mirrors threatened decapitation, so I was constantly looking over my shoulder.

At night, when I was picking my way home, passengers used to delight at flicking cigarette butts in my general direction. Bad and drunk drivers have a habit of aiming at the obstacles they wish to avoid, so while I was waiting for the smallest break in traffic to dash to the safety of the other side of the off-ramp, cars would fix me in their beams and bear down, only to swerve away at the last minute.

The best part about it was I had to do it because I told a judge under oath that I intended to walk to work for a year rather than go to ASAP classes as a result of my DWI. That was four and a half years ago, and I still walk, although I now live in a pedestrian tolerant environment. Feel free to chuckle–I earned the punishment, and I fucking paid it off in spades.

I know where you’re coming from, Smoke. Remember, there’s no such thing as a “Suburban Planner,” just “developers.” Maybe there oughta be.

4

I was aware for some time of the criminal (yes, criminal, for the reasons you say above - negligence! endangerment!) lack of sidewalks in suburbs, and then during the election I visited a portion of my riding named Île des Soeurs, an expensive residential community. Results: Lots and lots of pretty sidewalks, but
[sub]no motherfucking street signs!!![/sub]

I had a map with me, and I still got lost and wandered around for an hour and a half to and from my contact’s house! Argh. Apparently they don’t mind having the “wrong element” (poor young gay New Democrats) in their neighbourhood so long as they can’t find where they’re going!!

Anyway. I’m happy I live in Montreal. North America’s highest downtown residential density. Much lovely sidewalks between the lovely metro stops and lovely bus stops. Much love for pedestrians, except in the winter (ice).

However, Sofa, I feel your pain because there’s a perfectly hideous spaghetti of roads known as the Pine-Parc interchange just between the Molson Stadium and the Hotel-Dieu hospital, with weird vanishing sidewalks that just evaporate out from under you as you’re trying to cross the thing, leaving you sprinting across 45-degree angled concrete shoulders 3 metres up in the air. Fortunately, there’s plans to tear the thing down, and good riddance.

5

Well, I’d personally like to offer a rant to whoever developed Lexington, Kentucky, especially the Nicholasville Road area. I rode my bike to work at KMart for more than a year, and it seems these wonderful people want to be sure that we won’t be able to get from one store to any other in under 15 minutes. There were no sidewalks on Nicholasville, and behind good old big K there was a private subdivision that I couldn’t ride through, so I had to circle around it, meaning about ten blocks, to get to a fast food place that was practically right next door to where I worked. Lunch breaks were only half an hour, usually, so it was ten minutes of riding bike to Wendys, eight minutes waiting in line, two minutes inhaling food, ten minutes back to KMart.

6

Fuck developers. Zone these places to require sidewalks. They can require Fire lanes which eat into parking spaces, emergency exits, etc. for safety reasons. Lack of sidewalks are a safety issue. Forcing pedestrians to share the road in high traffic areas is madness.

What Sofa King describes is not the fault of developers, but of highway planners. They simply ignore pedestrians and bicycles and thousands of people die every year as a result. I’ve ridden my bicycle through some parts of Northern Virginia and highway onramps are deathtraps.

7

Bottle of Smoke

Madison has gotten really bad about that in the last ten years. I can picture your route in my mind. The bussinesses buy a large chunk of land and put twisting roads on the devlopement, run the main traffic in front ot the store fronts , and then put up stop sign, every ten feet in the parking lot.

Portage is doing just as good. The north end is where the businesses and new housing are going up. Half that housing is elderly care appartments. Plenty of roads with older people walking down them, but not one damn sidewalk. They don’t even put up crosswalks at the light signals, too get them accross 4 lanes of highway.

8

This reminded me of BRAZILIA-the ultra-modern 9for 1960) capital of Brazil. The city was designed WITHOUT sidewalks! the theroy was that as the seat of government, the population would be limited, and evetybody would travel by bus or car. It didn’t work out that way, so they had to put in some sidewalks. Imn my opinion, it is one of the wierdest cities I have ever seen-looks like a vision of utopis (for 1960). As a practical city, it has failed-it never seemed to be a place for humans-it really feels so sterile. And yes, the lack of sidewalks has resulted in some appalling traffic accidents.

9

Man this makes me glad to live where I do. I used to live in NYC until my mid 30s. Now I live in Bergen County, in the north of New Jersey. In my little corner of the county, there’s sidewalks everywhere. Some of the distances can be far, this being suburbia, but virtually every street has a sidewalk. And the nearest highway is a half hour away by car.

10

Geez! What are you stone-agers doing walking like some kind of technophobe?! Pedestrians are dinosaurs, man! Get a car!

That out of the way, the current city-planning hostility to pedestrians reminds me of a science fiction short story, the title and author of which I don’t remember (may be Bradbury) where things have progressed such that it’s always open season on pedestrians.

jayjay

11

Check out this link to the Washington Post about Tyson’s Corner, VAhttp://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A21282-2001Mar31.html

12

Ugh, World_Traveler, you’re giving me flashbacks. I used to work in that area, which generally meant crossing Route 7 three times a day (to and from lunch, and to my bus stop in the evening). Bloody miracle I’m still alive.

I’m sure the pendulum will swing back, though, as soon as gas prices go through the roof. Heh heh.

13

I wouldn’t count on it - remember 1974 and 1979? Both did precisely zero to slow down suburban sprawl.