I was worried. Really worried.
I almost didn’t have a topic for today’s thread. “So don’t start one,” you say. But I always start a thread on Monday. It’s a tradition for me. It makes me happy. “OK,” you concede, “start away.” Thanks, you’re swell.
I was afraid I’d have to go with The Little Woman’s garage sale. She had one. It was a bust. Not a lot to build a whole thread on. Then I thought I’d do one on the dog I groomed Sunday. I groomed her and she looked good. That’s about it.
“Well these aren’t as lame as the thread you started because you had to mow the lawn,” you point out. Thanks, but they really are lamer. More lame. Whatever.
And I guess I could sit back and let one Monday drift by without starting a thread. I mean, I’ve done pretty good for myself in the last eight months. I’ve had a thread spotted, and a post taken for Teemings Extras and a Fan Club too. If I could only have a question answered by Cecil, my life would be complete. (I have great hopes for my masturbation question.)
But, like I said, it’s a tradition with me.
I nearly started a thread about a cheerleader that came to my door. She was selling discount cards for a Local Merchant. The money was for new cheerleading uniforms. We got one of the cards, because the Little Woman wanted one, but I thought the Cheerleaders didn’t deserve new uniforms. “Let them cheer naked,” I said. Really, I said that. But that’s as far as the OP would go. Unless I made up a story about how there was this one cheerleader in High School who was mean to me and used her popularity against me. But there wasn’t, so that’s that. I could make one up, but I like to think you think of me as basically honest. And I am, basically. Or essentially.
Then the Fates conspired in my favor. (Conspire means “breathe together”. When you conspire you whisper amongst yourselves so no one can hear. So you have your heads really close together. That means you breathe the same air. You are “breathing together”. Ain’t language cool?) Soupo asked The Little Woman “What are we going to have for dinner tonight?” She asked “What do you want?” He said “French toast.”
So I made French toast last night for dinner. With bacon. Mmmm… bacon. And hash browns fried in the bacon grease, with cheese melted on top. Apple cobbler for dessert.
Now, don’t you wish I was your Dad?
*** I was going to replace this whole thing with:
Arooooo… The Werewolves of the Straight Dope, I figured the Warren Zevon reference would add some “cool”. The whole idea is “If we were all werewolves, who would we have to kill to break the line?” See, most of us lurk for a while then post to someone else’s thread before we solo. Like me, I first posted to Fenris’ thread. (Fenris’s thread? …a thread started by Fenris) Then there were a few Dopers who posted first in my thread. (I’m not doing any searches or links here because it’s not a real thread.) So if the Dopers who posted first in my thread wanted to remove the Curse of the Straight Dope, cutting my head off wouldn’t do it. They’d have to go after Fenris. That probably wouldn’t do it either. They’d have to beat who his “sire” was out of him, and go after that Doper.
But I’m not going to. If someone else wants to, that’s Jake with me. But that would be a IMHO poll. And I like to think of myself as a MPSIMS kinda guy. Yup, Mundane and Pointless, that’s me. ***
And Fay Wray is 94 today.
-Rue.
P.S. If you want to say who’s thread you first posted to, that would be Jake. But I’m not asking. You’d just be volunteering information.
