“This project is due in two days. I can’t afford to be dead right now!”
Death is a fact of life. But in today’s fast paced world, it’s also a major inconvenience. That’s why there’s ZOMBINEX[sup]TM[/sup].
“I can’t wait around to be reincarnated. I’ve got things I need to do right now!”
Life won’t always wait for you when you’re dead. Now ZOMBINEX[sup]TM[/sup] means it doesn’t have to.
“Now’s just not a good time for me to be dead!”
No time to be dead? That’s the time for ZOMBINEX[sup]TM[/sup].
ZOMBINEX[sup]TM[/sup]. For prompt, temporary relief of death.
[sub][sup]ZOMBINEX is not for everyone. Some people taking ZOMBINEX may experience dizziness, dry mouth, or feelings of existential despair, anguish, or eternal doom.
Do not use if you are taking any other medications. ZOMBINEX is only for use by those who are clinically dead. Do not use for more than three weeks, or for more than two weeks if that period includes a full moon.
Serious side effects may include demonic infestation, an insatiable hunger for the flesh of the living, and eternal damnation. If any of these serious side effects occur, discontinue use and consult your witch doctor or exorcist immediately.[/sup][/sub]