Claudine Longet and her whispery version of theRolling Stones.
Some years ago, I was working in a hotel, and we used satellite radio in the lobby, bar, and restaurant. It was a quiet morning, and I was doing paperwork at the front desk, when I noticed something terribly wrong. There was a song playing, and I knew that I recognized it, but… something was dreadfully awry. After a few seconds, I realized that someone had absolutely butchered Wanna Be Sedated, turning it into the cheesiest, blandest, most lounge lizard-y dreck ever. I rushed back to the receiver, so that I’d know the name of the artist, so that I could hate him forthwith. Some outfit called the Recliners. I’m not interested in knowing anything else about them, but the hate is still strong.
Found a sample of the above here. Maybe I should reconsider in giving the cheeky covers a pass. There is no reason for that cover to exist, except I suspect some will like it for its novelty. I really don’t get this loungy reorchestration of hard rock songs. It was entertaining for about one song, then the joke got old.
My wife has that free Christmas CD that Oprah put out a few years ago. Last night, we were listening to it in the car. Aretha Franklin’s version of Silent Night comes on, with Aretha warbling and drawing out notes and generally vocally masturbating out the song. Near the end of the track, we hear a voice from the back seat as my 4-year-old son asks – totally seriously – “Mommy? Daddy? Why is she singing it silly?” The missus and I both had to bite our tongues so we didn’t crack up laughing. 
I just wanna say that this is the funniest SDMB thread in maybe years.
That one is spectacular, but I’m partial to this gem, also from the same Youtube comments section.
This is the honkiest thing ever recorded. This makes Pat Boone seem funky.
There’s a dance remix of 4 Non Blondes’ “What’s Up?” It must be heard to be believed (or not heard, as the case may be).
The most bizarre remake I’ve heard was the vocal track to “Riders on the Storm” superimposed on Blondie’s “Rapture”.
It’s even more bizarre than a song that somehow made it to #1 and still gets airplay on soft-rock stations. It’s that “Free Bird/Baby, I Love Your Way” medley. ETA: Yep, Will To Power. Couldn’t remember the “artist’s” name.
Check this out: Celine Dion covers Stevie Wonder. The first line of the song will have you cringing.
A small part of me just died, that was just wrong on so many levels.
Capt
Duran Duran should be taken out and shot for the “911 is a joke” cover.
If Welk had seen Dueling Tubas, he’d have used it with bubbles coming out of the horn.
Jumpin’ Jesus on a pogo stick. I know it was Welk and all, but even so, how is it possible that no one on that show or connected to it had a clue about One Toke Over the Line? That clip is hilarious.
If that grinds your gears: here’s something similar, courtesy of the most overrated and annoying Canadian band of all time.
After Freddie Mercury died, there was a television special with dozens of performers covering Queen songs. Most were pretty good, but they kept promising a super special secret guest… who turned out to be Liza Minnelli (far less “special” than half the performers before her)… and she did the most execrable rendition of “We are the Champions” I’ve ever heard. Screechy, off tempo, loungey… hideous.
Paul Anka, Smells Like Teen Spirit
I wish I can find who does this, but a couple of times at Safeway one song played over the PA system is a cover of Mr. Mister’s “Broken Wings”. It’s bland, boring, and whoever the guy is singing doesn’t have much of a range.
I was not aware that Rush had ever done a cover song, except for the B-side of their first single. It’s a remake of Buddy Holly’s “Not Fade Away”.
p.s. It’s worth watching for the image at 2:46 alone.
And this is one of the ones I love. I find his voice so earnest and vulnerable in that song. Dare I say, I may like it more than the Fleetwood Mac original. I just connect to it more emotionally. Then again, I like most of SP’s covers. Actually, pretty much anything they put out before Machina for that matter.
ETA: Hell, apparently even Pitchfork (I know we all have our opinions on Pitchfork) loves it, calling this version verging on “definitive,” so I’m not going too crazy.
The Beatles cover of Joe Cocker’s “With a little help from my friends.”
What?
A part of my soul just died.
Tori Amos has a similarly bizarre remake of the same song.
Dear OG, YHTBFKM.
I have a small confession to make. I mixed PE last Friday night, they had their own FOH(Soundguy) but he came out there exactly once, to mix “911 is a Joke”. They have a full band with Bass, Guitar, Drums, DJ Lord(!), Griff, Flav, Chuck D and the crew.
This almost never happens, if I actually run sound for a band it is the opener or a local show. There are exceptions but for a band like Public Enemy, totally unexpected. Drew, their FOH spent the entirety of soundcheck onstage working on monitors. So I, mostly out of boredom, set some levels, made sure all the channels worked, ran important channels up into the House for a second but nothing that would be an actual mix because Drew was FOH for the band. Soundcheck ends with Drew never coming out. I wait for a while, go backstage, no Drew, no band. I go to dinner.
Informational note. The process for putting on a concert is probably more complicated than you might think. A soundcheck and set up usually takes many times the length of the show. We do this so the Audience and Band have a good experience.
Since we have left the Audience part out of soundcheck, I set up the console for me and set up some EQs and hoped for the best. Two openers, no Drew. Band and Drew come out on stage and line check(make sure it all works) and Drew talks to me from stage, “turn on all my channels” “is this working?”.
Band starts, Chuck D, Flavor Flav and Griff come out, two whole songs worth. I am scrambling for clarity and refining. Drew comes out and kinda makes some changes for “911” and says “I have to go backstage”. I never see him again.
I, the 40 something white dude with a shaved head and giant goatee, had a blast “making the loud” for PE. I have always had serious respect for PE so the terrible cover versions by people who have no knowledge about the Black Experience in America are a bit off-putting.
Any hoo, sorry for the rant and hijack
Capt