And the award for clunkiest movie title goes to....

It’s clunky all right. It’s awkward and sounds like a bad translation. Except it isn’t.
Actually, the concept isn’t all that bad for a coming-of-age tale, but I don’t think there was a marketing genius behind this one.

Just saying.

Okay, you had me confused for a second. I thought the title was an URL. In comparison, Equestrian Sexual Response seems mainstream.

For short but clunky, I’ll offer $ - a 1971 heist film starring Warren Beatty and Goldie Hawn. It’s confusing because you’re not sure what the title is: Dollar? Dollars? Dollar Sign?

Hard to beat To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar for clunkiness.

With everybody in the movie industry on drugs in the 60s and 70s, titles got, um, stupid. There is a Venn diagram in which those overlap clunky.


Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness?


The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? and Rat Pfink a Boo Boo, a Ray Dennis Steckler must-see double feature.

There have been four movies in the last ten years titled F: - F, F, F. and F.. And that doesn’t include ‘F’ from the 1970s.

Is this the sequel to Zoo?

I’m kind of partial to Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever … .

I’ve always thought Bad Lieutenant was a terrible name for a movie. It sounds like they’re reprimanding a dog. “Bad Lieutenant! Bad, bad boy! You give up your badge now.” The Bad Lieutenant would have been marginally better, though it would still have sounded like a children’s picture book.

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire

A couple more which come to mind:

“The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man-in-the-moon Marigolds.”


“For Colored Girls who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf.”

Apparently for the film version of "“For Colored Girls who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf,” they’re shortening it to “For Colored Girls.”

Sssssss is, if not clunky, just sadistic. Great, you made a movie title you can’t pronounce, can’t spell right (with “spell” as in “get the right number of letters from memory”), and it’s stupid. You feel like a big man now?

I was actually thinking of Ssssss! I came across it on the SciFi channel years ago and remember thinking it was bizarre but hilarious, right down to the title.

But on the plus side it had a Heather Menzies skinny dipping scene.

From the synopsis, I assume that the title is supposed to be Equine Sexual Response

Isn’t the titular equestrian around eleven years old? (I am not so naive, aged, and forgetful as to think that eleven-year-olds don’t have sexual feelings, but I’m not sure I want to see a movie about the little girl from Dexter getting damp panties.)

Win. I understand why they changed the title, because another recent movie was called push. Nevertheless, we don’t have “Die Hard: Based on the Novel Nothing Lasts Forever by Roderick Thorp.” Also, Sapphire is an incredibly stupid name to give yourself.

“Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood” is an odd title. I’m sure any clunkiness is intentional, here, though.

And for a movie that you’ve heard of there is this full title:

Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb

Originally planned by Kubrick to be a serious movie, the absurdity of the subject kept insisting on itself so he went with it.

[nitpick]Both plays, not movies[/nitpick]

And then, of course, there’s the film of the play
The Persecution and Assassination of Jean-Paul Marat as Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum of Charenton Under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade
by Peter Weiss. The newspapers (and marquees (Marquis?) ) inevitably made this Marat/Sade

In the originial German, it was
Die Verfolgung und Ermordung Jean Paul Marats dargestellt durch die Schauspielgruppe des Hospizes zu Charenton unter Anleitung des Herrn de Sade

And it wasn’t pronounced “Shah-day”

Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Too damned many colons.

Well that would explain all the crap.